happy cake! my glasses cost like thousands of euros because fuck people with farsightedness
don't forget that glasses also have a monopoly from one company that owns multiple multiple brands, it's straight up dogshit
i sadly don't have any thrift stores near me, idek why dad bought vhs players
also i wish you good luck at finding a good deal on the things you want to get :D
i have two vhs players with front composite ports but i have no way to even record anything nor tapes to do it
would be cool for me to just make analog stuff that aren't spooky but nah i can't do cool shit ever
i am the type of guy who'd emit the deltarune "freedom motif" at this point
that game fucking broke me
half of yesterday was wasted on a trip, half of yesterday was wasted treating my ankle, today i have no fucking idea what to do in my life to numb the bullshit caused by this job that i am barely 2 weeks into
reply
thank you for the reply
it's not imprisonment, it's traumatic family experience. without getting into details, i can't afford living alone. family is the type to go "i'll beat you up" when i tell them that i am depressed. very christian kind too
also the "holding knives to your family members" is a big misunderstanding, i just go really slowly and hold them horizontally instead of vertically so that nobody, not even i, get hurt. i just fear death and pain that much. i do not want to hurt anyone, not even myself.
i wanted to be an english teacher when i was a kid, i wanted to share my passion for this language to others. now, not only do i show signs of being the worst no matter what anyone else says, but also "IT'S BAD, WORK FROM HOME, KIDS WILL HATE YOU AND YOU WILL BEAT THEM UP OUT OF RAGE, IF YOU DONT WORK FROM HOME YOU WILL HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY AND DRIVE AND GO TO WORK AND NEVER COME HOME". motivation is gone.
i always wanted to be a programmer as a kid because i wanted to make video games of course i would. the passion died when my family wasted my money to put me in a dogshit python course that gave me two certs that are only useful as metaphorical toilet paper. their reason was "python big money easy to learn IF YOU DONT DO THIS I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK". motivation is gone.
none of your options to afford therapy is worth it. i can't even drive because i fear car crashes
i don't think my country has any of those. also i don't want my family to see any of that. they'll just be even more mad
does the button allow me to bring myself back? is there a button to make me home alone? i need the macaulay culkin button even a fucking beavis and butthead button where i get so alone i can self supply myself would be greay
edit:
MORE reply. cw for ableism because it's now about my neurodivergency
i wish i had time, motivation and passion to do anything. all of my drawings came from me being alone, that's why everything was either rushed or just unfinished. i genuinely give up every time i try to make something and i can't do it, there are times where i want to draw, attempt to draw and then immediately give up cause i am no longer motivated. same with games. just a single loss or a single mistake and i immediately close it and just blankly stare at the screen with nothing fun in it anymore
for 22 god damn years i was like this. the only thing i look forward to is alone time just to play games, draw and shitpost. imagine me as a youtuber. as a streamer, even. i already have a vtuber model i made for the hell of it. you can see it in one of my art posts. was genuinely fun to make and rig but i can't use it because i'll be judged.
hasan has big car? i want a fucking castle where nobody can get in. elon has 50 companies? fuck that i want creative mode or the simcity cheat that gives you unlimited money to do whatever the fuck you want. i want to dabble into robotics for the most advanced bits ever, i want to dabble into game developing i am only an ideas guy because my motivation is that far gone. i want to be so alone i can voice train and even learn funny voice impressions. i want alone time that will never be interrupted ever. i want to never lay a finger on things that will alienate me. i want to be an actual artist with all the time in the world to be an artist
when i was a kid, i always wanted to be funny. i wanted to be loved from the start. i don't get love, but i am somehow funny to you all. how am i funny? how? in real life i am the least funny person in the whole place unless i am a stupid fucking idiot
and because i mentioned "cw: ableism", i will also mention that my family treats me as if i am not autistic. they're just forcing me to mask, it feels like we don't speak the same fucking language. they blame me for not understanding anything they say, they fucking hate me cause i came out of the oven with mental fuckery. if i tell them anything i am writing here, they'll just shrug it off, blame me and then threaten me with violence and then guilt trip me to hell and back
the only way i can explain it without any content warning is a spoiler from a video game from 2015
spoiler from video game "undertale". fuck it, cw: death-related thoughts. self harm maybe
i feel like a lost soul from undertale. like the friends from that game with the squares covering their faces. i only see, feel and mutter my darkest thoughts to the people that care about me the most. and all of them are online people. i have nobody in real life. that's all i can truly say. the aching. the ouch, even
issue is that there's nothing for any of us to so. i can't afford therapy, i can't get anything, i am not allowed to leave or go anywhere, i am not allowed to pursue my lifelong dream of entertaining others or being an english teacher because i cannot stand being one. i have parts of me that want this inner dark to get even darker and i have parts that just refuse the idea of death.
i have had visions of me just
i can't even think about writing it. you fill in the blanks, the hint is in the spoiler title
i cant sleep and my chest hurts. i fear death and i hate how my life is, why move on? why continue? there's no spite to keep me going, the ones that hurt me the most want me to stay for as long as possible. i literally hold knives away from everyone, horizontally and my body can't go any faster when i have to bring a knife to a family member for instance
i fear death and i hate how my life is. how was it to be happy? how was it to be alone? to have peace and quiet? what are those? when will i have those?
i have stuff to say but they require so many content warnings i'd rather not
all i can say is that nothing i do is worth it. what do i truly deserve? the real answers will surprise you.
nothing
sorry nothing
edit: read my reply
eyy, i do the same!!
his name is mead mario and can be found if you search for "mead dwarf fortress" on duckduckgo images.
source of his existence
fuck ai-generated junk websites btw
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
i drew this little character while tipsy so it's related
meldora (the mage girl from that one post i made here) hit that BIG alcohol, what will she do?? i drew this while tipsy btw
expect not many drawings from me, it's a rare event
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(meldora from my last art post hit that alcohol, what will she do? i drew this while tipsy btw)
yesterday i drew this random mage girl, based on one of the mage character sprites in a puzzle game known as "puzzle quest: challenge of the warlord".
she's not good with magic but she's still trying. i thought of naming her meldora cause puzzle quest's random name generator gave my save file that name
edit: i forgot to mention that i also made a minecraft skin of her as well
i use my minecraft skins for colors cause somehow i do a little better if the color palettes are used in a minecrap skin. one of my other characters has a minecraft skin i made and that skin's palette is still used for reference
A sequel to FORK, here comes FORK and THE SOCKET sacrificing mankind for The Great.
thank you for the support thank you for the
support
thank y
(based on a comment from lemmy.eco.br user "beleza pura". this was a reply image for their own edit of FORK)
a friend of mine did some most likely dirty deeds and he found this.
he just covered himself in a flag and came back after 3 minutes, claiming to come from a different universe.
i think dio and enyaba was planned to return, but with covid 19 as was the style at the time, might have to ask my funny man for more
out of character time: this was found before jojoland was released please enjoy
hold on i got one more
original, just like FORK, came from some anti-socialist thing. this time, it’s an edit made by some fucker on reddit of the “bizarro” 2014-07-24 strip!
credits to araki for creating this in my computer i assume it is him cause it showed up after seeing an image of him eating donuts
original, just like FORK, came from some anti-socialist thing. this time, it's an edit made by some fucker on reddit of the "bizarro" 2014-07-24 strip!
credits to araki for creating this in my computer i assume it is him cause it showed up after seeing an image of him eating donuts
i hate scientists because they made pluto not a planet now every time i look at the planets i feel like something is missing