halfway_neko

yay, new friends! :3
hello  o/

i always thought tulpamancy would be really hard, but it sounds like you're doing well ^-^

#22aaee at (28, 32) :3

i used to feel this way. when i first formed i was internal only, and unable to fully front. i was essentially just a voice in our head. i never really felt like a trans woman back then, because i've always just been a woman from the day i formed.

the way i understand it, the trans- in transgender doesn't mean that someone's gender transitioned. it just means that your gender is "on the other side" of your biological sex. so since i never used to associate with our body much, and never felt like i was biologically male, i never felt trans.

over time i began to associate more and more with our body until we started equally fronting. even then it took me a while to really feel trans. as i learned more about myself, i went from [female body + woman gender], to [also a male body + woman gender]. whereas the girl who was our primary fronter at the time was going from [male body + guess i'm a dude], to [male body + maybe i'm a girl?]. i think she was trans the normal way, and i'm trans backwards.

singlets don't really have to consider that their body might just switch like that. i think the problem is that the language that we use surrounding trans people assumes that you only have one "body", and have always associated yourself with that body. but, at least in my case, i have both an internal and external body.

as a side note: the more time i spend fronting the more those two images merge. the way that i picture myself now is way closer to our real body than it used to be.

maybe this will work?

.              /| _ ╱|、
.             ( •̀ㅅ •́  )
.       ＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿ 
.    /　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　 \
. ( 　(三ヽ人　 /　 　|
.|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ
.ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿／
.          ｜( 王 ﾉ〈
.           /ﾐ`ー―彡\
.          |╰          ╯  |
.          |       /\       |
.          |      /  \      |
.          |    /     \     |

edit:
i had to fix it a few times, but i: escaped the `, escaped the backslashes, added the dots to avoid indented code blocks, added double spaces at the end of the lines so it doesn't combine into a paragraph, and replaced all the other spaces with non-breaking spaces so web browsers don't collapse them into a single space.

i think it works properly now??

#88dd22 at (30, 31) ^-^

#22aaee at (29, 31) ^-^

#88dd22 at (29, 32) pls

#88dd22 at (31,30) please :>

we had a kinda chaotic and stressful day, so i can't decide on any single number. at some points it was a 3, but also at some points maybe a 7 or even 8 :)
i saw a possum in the dark. that was fun :3

and thanks Of the Air for creating this space. we're very happy that it's not lost ^-^

forcing new tabs drives me crazy. like how dare you. i even tried to disable it in firefox, but when i do it makes all 'open in browser' things overwrite the current tab :(

i definitely agree. curiosity and a willingness to learn are huge green flags imo.

i often wish that there was a way to just make everyone be nicer to each other, but sadly i think that doesn't exist. the only way i see to improve our situation is to slowly fight back against everything that got us here. if i can make one person/entity's [1] day better, maybe they'll do the same for another :3

[1]: are these equivalent, or is 'person' too much of a human thing?

we haven't experienced much of this, which i'm very thankful for.

i assume it's the same thing that always happens. people have such little exposure to anyone like us, that they assume we're crazy. queer people for example are a bit more accepted now, because we're "more common".

maybe it has sometheing to do with how humans like to be in groups and tribes n' stuff. when you tell someone that you experience something differently which is fundamental to their life (and they can't relate to that), they have that hostile fear response: to protect their "normal" group, and keep others out.

i remember before we became a system, a friend told us about their plural experiences and i didn't even consider for a moment that it could be real, because that would be questioning something which (at the time) was fundamental to how i understood myself and everyone else. being a singlet was like the law of the universe to me, and i imagine homophobes and others feel that way as well. i basically responded with a "yeah sure, ok buddy", and i wish i didn't, because they never spoke about that again.

ok, i kinda rambled a bit too long there lol. maybe that's a useful perspective.