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Reading Re:Zero Volume 5.

Holy shit.

That's all there really is to it. I really do wonder what he's gonna do. I mean, I can't even imagine it. I like to think I can relate to main characters, and though Subaru is somewhat reprehensible, he was also somewhat relatable, until now.

But at this point? Dude. He's fucked beyond belief. I can't even begin to express how MONSTROUS his situation is. Holy shit.

I am speechless.

I've always struggled to get through those lame parts in books. Not all books have these, but many do. It's those sections of the story where a big plot-point is resolved, but it's clear that there's still a lot of story to go, while simultaneously leaving the characters without anything clear to do.

This is the end of Volume 4 of Re:Zero, for me. It's so bad. The ending itself is OK---a little emotionally overwhelming---but the problem is the beginning of Volume 5. I didn't want to start it, because it felt like I'd gotten just enough closure, and the main character was too aimless for me to be interested.

I did end up picking it up, and it's good, by the way, but it is a very frustrating feeling.

What's up with her, anyway?

I remember her being everywhere some... Number of years... ago. Where is she? This is a rhetorical question, of course. I could find out where she is with a simple internet search! I simply refuse to.

See, ignorance is a funny thing. To not know is, in a way, to know! As my favourite philosopher---George Orwell---once very well said.

I keep getting TikToks about Palestinians asking for donations. Of course, I sympathize with the Palestinian plight, but at the same time I feel so silly watching them. For one, they're all misleading; the TikToks are framed as a regular TikTok, but at the end show an image of a Palestinian family asking for help. It feels so weirdly deceitful, though I suppose it's just to trick the algorithm. It feels wrong to judge the needy for the ways in which they go about simply asking for help. Another point is how these are whole accounts dedicated to posting seemingly endless stream of these posts. I'm sure they make some money off of it. Something else that does come up in my mind is that, if I wanted to make some money and had little to no scruples, I'd make one of these accounts.

It's so easy to rip a bunch of photographs and make one of these accounts.

I don't know. I feel rather powerless, in this situation. Pretty lost, too.

I heard something about Trump saying they're gonna clean out Gaza? That didn't sound very good, let me tell you.

Some of my housemates disrespect our shared spaces.

It's frustrating. One of my housemates actually talked to me about this, and asked me to approach another housemate and talk some sense into them. Very frustrating, indeed.

Something that does upset me particularly is the way they hog the clotheslines. There are three clotheslines for 4 people, but one of us usually dries their stuff outside, on a 4th clothesline. Still, somehow, every single one of them is constantly filled with rags and other stuff. Not even clothes! It drives me crazy... I did find that today, at least, there was one empty, save for a rag, which I moved, so I could actually do my laundry.

Whatever.

Another presentation today. I really hope I get a decent grade... I got complimented, but I wonder how much that's worth.

I wager, not that much, but some.

Wish me luck! I have another presentation soon, that makes 3 in a week. Also nervous for that one, but somewhat less so, since the last one is actually on a very similar topic to the first one, so I already have a half-made presentation. Not bad.

I've been obsessed with reading Re:Zero. I made a post about this only a few days ago, but holy crap! It's so good!

The Mavs traded Luka for AD. What the hell? Hilarious move!

People are calling this the craziest trade of all time, in the NBA. I'm not sure I agree, but it's definitely up there. The craziest trade of my lifetime as an NBA fan, that's for sure (though admittedly I haven't been a fan for that long).

Excited to see how this turns out.

I got glasses not that long ago. Just over a year, I think? Something like that, I'm not sure, time flies.

I remember my mum telling me---basically my whole life---that wearing glasses was terrible. I suspect it had to do with her getting bullied over it or something. However, my little brother also really disliked it, as a (younger) kid. My dad never really complained about it much, but occasionally he might've made some less-than-positive remarks. I suspect he's more in tune with how I feel, regarding glasses-wearing.

It really doesn't bother me. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is annoying sometimes. When they're dirty it's hard to see; when it's too cold, my breath condenses on the lenses; when I take a shower, they get all fogged up; I have to remember to take them off before going to bed. Stuff like that. Overall, however, they're totally fine. It's not bothersome to wear them. The bothersome things about wearing glasses are so minor they barely register, if at all. I think quite a few of them---like the lenses fogging up when it's cold---are actually quite endearing and kind of cute.

I don't mind how I look with them on, either. I don't think they make me any more (or less) handsome; they don't really cramp or elevate my style either.

I've seen other people wearing glasses and, occasionally, I will think that they're really sexy. Sorry, sorry... I am a man of flesh! I saw this one girl on TikTok not too long ago and holy smokes! She had these thin glasses that came to a point at the top outer edges. They were so... Sensual... That feels so weird to say. But it's true! It doesn't hurt that she was very cute, obviously, but I really do think the glasses did a lot for the video.

I remember my grandma telling me, when I first got glasses, that it was gonna be rough and I'd have to get used to it. It was not the case at all. I mean, of course I had to "get used to it," but I got used to it the same way you get used to wearing a new shirt. It looks different---it's a different shirt---but it's just a shirt, this stuff isn't exactly going to revolutionize your world or something. She annoyed me a little with how insistent she was every time she saw me for like a month, asking about how I felt. I felt as usual, of course, nothing of substance had changed, and her constant implication that something had indeed changed felt so absurdly uncalled for that it started to genuinely upset me.

Overall, I think my mum's hatred of glasses is wholly unfounded and that my grandma overestimated rather severely how hard it would be to adapt to a glassed life.

They've got a blue-light filter.

I had a presentation today. It went well.

It went... Way better than expected. It went really well, I felt like. I'm not expecting a grand grade or anything, but I feel like I definitely passed. To be totally honest, I feel like I passed with flying colours, but I also feel like I shouldn't say that. I think I have some trouble being honest about my own abilities.

There's this thing that I've been obsessed with for a very, very long time. I'm talking like a decade! Which I guess is really not that long, in the grand scheme of things, but still. That thing is "normality." I really want to be normal.

It's a bit weird. I just wish I was like everyone else. I feel like it'd be nice, but I always feel like I'm different, somehow. Like I think about things differently. I suppose everyone does think about things differently, though, which makes it a pretty normal thing. Turns out I am normal after all! Which makes me happy.

On one hand, I'd be happy to get a good grade, because of course I would. On the other hand, I would really rather not stand out. I don't want a good grade, I don't want a bad grade, I want an average grade. Is that weird? I feel like that's weird. I feel like the normal thing would be to either want a good grade or not care about the grade. I feel like both of those would be pretty normal.

I don't know... Regardless, my presentation went well. I was so nervous beforehand, but as the time drew near I relaxed. It's always a weird feeling, but it's always the same. When the spotlight shines, I'm somehow always relaxed. I'm dying right before, though! My stomach was churning and turning and all the other words that would apply in this situation. It went well, though. I think that's good, overall.

I started reading Re:Zero again. It's so freaking good!!!

I'm only just starting the second volume, but I love it so much!

Can't recommend it enough. The anime is also amazing.

My favourite vtuber is playing TWD. She played episode/season 1 already, now she's playing the second one. It's so much fun!

I wonder if I'd make it far in a zombie apocalypse à la TWD. I think yes, actually. I guess everyone thinks that, though. I like to think I'm resourceful. I know a lot of things, though of course I also don't know way more things... But still.

I'm really worried about my family though, specifically my grandma. She definitely wouldn't make it far...

Let's hope it doesn't happen.

Speaking of the vtuber, I really enjoy her streams. It's so much fun to interact with the people in chat, and we say such crazy things, and she's really funny. Plus, her game choices are really great. I'm having fun everyday.

I've been watching a lot of survivalist content on YT. It's lots of fun. I love Outdoor Boys; definitely check them out! I say "them," but it's really just Luke. I don't watch the videos with the kids very much, I just don't enjoy them as much.

I grew up somewhere where it was basically impossible to be away from civilization. That's kind of how it works when you live very isolated; there's not a lot of people, but there's people everywhere. It's kind of weird, when I put it like that. We had parks and "forests," but not like they show in their videos.