Today was a good day!

The stream was a little worse than usual because the streamer was exhausted, she's been having a bit of a rough time lately, but other than that I had a great time.

For one, lunch was good. Not great, still, but it was good. The tofu was a bit bland, to be honest, but it was good enough, and the rice the came with it was fantastic. The soup was also great, I actually really enjoyed it---I'm not a soup person but it was delicious. The only actual issue with lunch today was the fruit. Admittedly, I could've picked an apple instead of the orange, but god that was a terrible orange. I have never had a drier orange, and I mean that. Still, it was good overall.

I got both my backpack AND my shoes! Weirdly, the backpack arrived before the shoes and the delivery experience was much better, as in, I actually got delivered the package instead of it simply being delivered to some shop that I then had to go to to get. Sorry about the terrible construction of the previous sentence. Regardless, the products are as expected. Sizes are right, construction quality is right, everything is good in the world, except for the bad parts of course.

My ReVanced YT broke today, for some reason. Weird, but things happen, maybe I fucked something up I guess. Whatever the reason, I just uninstalled and repatched. Works again.

Tomorrow I go back north. Sushi on Saturday... I get to see my little brother... Truly nice. I'll flex on him so hard with my new backpack and shoes.

YO!

Canteen lunch today was garbage, though it was an unfortunate situation and a major blunder by yours truly.

I bought the vegetarian meal as it seemed to me, by the description, to be the best of the bunch. The fish meal was something I'd had before and hadn't thoroughly enjoyed, so naturally I gravitated towards the other option.

As I made my way across the counter, I noticed four people in a row asking for the vegetarian option. Now, seeing four people ask for the vegetarian option would already be odd, but not only were all of them in front of me and in sequence, but only two of them were together! That's right, three independent groups of people asking for the vegetarian meals. Not to mention myself, of course. I would've been the fifth.

The issue was that the vegetarian meal tray was already low on food, and the sudden onslaught of vegetarians really tore it down to nothing---or basically nothing. So much so, that I was afraid that, were I to pick it, I would be relegated to a measly meal, instead of what I paid for and was rightfully owed. Maybe that wouldn't have been the case, I'll never know, but I didn't want to risk it. I was terribly hungry, at the time.

So, I chose the fish meal.

There are basically two types of fish meals at the canteen: has fish, is fish. Sometimes we get something like pasta with tuna or a fish lasagna, those are in the first category; other times, we get pieces of fish accompanied by something, like sardines with rice, for example. That's what it was supposed to be, today, but instead I got some other weird fish with boiled potatoes. I've got nothing against potatoes, mind you---as a matter of fact, I prefer potatoes to rice---, but these potatoes were not great. They were cold and hard. Not only that, but the fish itself was cold too! Now, my next complaint is a personal gripe: there was an onion and tomato sauce drenching everything. I like raw tomatoes, I like raw onions, but that thing is disgusting, I struggle to eat, I struggle to even look at it! I realize this is personal taste, so I'm not docking points for it, but it was still terrible for me. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the fish was more bone than fish. Every bite had a bone, every fucking bite. I tried to pick them out but it was impossible, they were small but so hard, and hard to find. It ruined the meal.

To throw salt into the wound, they threw a slice of green pepper into my salad. I hate peppers.

I realize I sound a bit whiny and maybe ungrateful, the canteen is a great environment, everyone there works hard, and they provide complete and varied meals for all students at a very affordable price. Moreover, I didn't even choose what I actually wanted. Still, it left a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended).

Tomorrow I'll have to go veggie, if I go to the canteen at all (which is very likely). It's tofu. Looking forward to it; the last time I had that there it was really, really good. I was also starving at the time, if I remember correctly, but still.

Only real issue is the rain. It's been raining like crazy the whole day and I expect the downpour to continue tomorrow. It would be a real pain in the ass to go there just to get drenched, but the food might just be worth it. Then again, maybe not.

Did some math and turns out I spent almost €27 this past week (since last Wednesday) on food. That would add up to around €115 per month. Some €12 (by far the biggest single chunk) there does include €4.80 that haven't been spent yet. Still, €115 for now.

If I account for everything, my expenses are coming out to less than €450 per month. That leaves just about €800 for investing, which sucks. I wanted to do €800, but I also wanted to keep some money to buy other stuff. And I do, to be fair, about 10 bucks, and there's also some other money that comes in occasionally from my family for various reasons, and I'm estimating utilities on the high side side. Still, it's a tight budget, the way I see it.

What I'm getting at is that this small money that I'm spending at the canteen matters and I'd like it not to be trash.

I didn't have dinner today. I wonder why...

I usually get hungry later in the night, but today I didn't. I suspect this has something to do with 2 things: firstly, I drank a fuckton of water---really, a lot of water---, and secondly, I drank lemon flavoured water. I suspect the flavour made me less hungry. Could this be a win? Maybe, maybe. There's also the calories in the flavouring, it was very sweet though not too caloric. I must've had something like 1100 calories today.

Lunch was just OK, squid stew and pea soup (I think). It was good but not great, you know?

That's it for today.

My room is always dusty, for some reason. I tried to look things up online, hoping someone would clue me in to what's going on, but I didn't get very far. My best guess is that I'm keeping my window open? I don't think I live in a particularly dusty place, but they are doing some renovating next door, though it's on the opposite of the building that my window faces so I'm not sure that's it. Regardless, it's been getting on my nerves.

I watched a livestream today, it was great as usual. We played two games on live and I won both! There was trivia and luck involved in both cases. I'm happy with my performance.

I also got an email confirming my shoes are being shipped! Great. I'm really excited still.

Other than that, I'm feeling fine, not great. I installed Vinted and have been exploring second hand clothes a little. I can find some nice items for cheap, but I've held back on pulling the trigger. For one, I'm aware that these websites have scams and I really want to avoid that. How much can we trust the sellers star rating, I wonder---I should really look that up before making a purchase. Still, I can find 501s in my size for some €30! That's crazy cheap.

This whole thing has also gotten me thinking about doing some clothes' modification, specifically shortening the pant legs. I can find plenty of jeans in my waist size, but the length is often too long. How expensive would it be to get someone to shorten the legs for me? And could I do it myself?! I don't have a sewing machine or anything, so I doubt that's particularly feasible.

Still, as I said, I held back on purchasing anything. Yes, they might feel like a deal, but I don't need them. There's other things I want to buy anyway that I should be prioritizing. I got shoes, I got a backpack. I'm thinking of buying a rice-cooker next. My brother has a plastic one that he just puts in the microwave, it's sooo convenient! I'm strongly considering getting something similar. Also, there's the Raspberry Pi I wanted to buy... I haven't felt the need as much any more, which is a great example of why I shouldn't make rash purchases. Even these shoes I ordered... Yes, I need new shoes, this is true, but damn I'm just... I don't know. Hopefully I don't come to regret it.

Perhaps I should just make a list... The problem with making a list is, of course, that it'll never end. There's always an upgrade, isn't there? I sigh, and I suffer.

Still, let's try!

• Rice cooker
• Jeans
• Belt hole
  Not sure if I just lost weight or if it was like this from the start and I just didn't notice at first, but I definitely need another hole in my belt. Maybe 2.

I actually think that's pretty much it, for now at least. Of course, there's the laptop, but this is fine for now.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this yesterday, but I ate tunamayo sandos. Very delish. Here's the extreme KICKER!!! I ate again today! But I only bought once. THIS is why I want that damn rice cooker. I bought a can of tuna, one of those bigger 250g cans. It lasted 2 days, that's three meals because today's lunch was at the canteen---pretty tasty by the way, some sort of bean and lentil ball with weird spaghetti (whole-wheat spaghetti?!). With the rice cooker I can buy rice instead of bread which is MUCH cheaper. We're looking at €1.25/kg of rice vs €1.63/kg of bread. Of, course, this is very misleading on two fronts. Firstly, that's raw rice. Cooked rice is much heavier because of the water, a good bet is that it doubles in weight so you can slice that price in half. Secondly, just because I buy rice doesn't mean I don't buy bread. The point of this is variety. I make an investment that allows me to expand my culinary endeavours, which will, in the long-term, save me money, and in the short-term, improve my mood! Variety is the spice of life, after all. Speaking of which, I should buy salt as well. By the way, salt is almost offensively cheap. How is it so cheap, it's crazy, it's insane. 25c for a freaking kilo?! Insane.

The next thing to think about, of course, is what to pair the rice and the bread with. Tunamayo is good and all, but is that all there is to it? I'm pescatarian and on a tight budget so my options are surprisingly limited. The cheapest can of tuna I can find runs me €6.21/kg, which is not nice at all. I can get sardines for only €5.33, which is huge. There's also beans, which I'll think about and consider.

Hopefully this weekend I'll get my hands on the rice cooker.

And with that, I'm out.

I feel very nice.

I took my laundry off the drying rack and it felt really nice. I shaved and my skin did OK---it usually does terribly because my skin sucks. I'm excited for my deliveries next week, I'm really hoping I get both. I've now ordered three things independently: a pack of playing cards, the backpack, and the shoes. Kinda sounds like the beginning of a bad joke; me saying that is a meta-joke because saying "sounds like the beginning of a bad joke" is a bad joke, by the way, don't think I'm unaware.

I specifically want to get the backpack... I ordered it because my old one is busted and I'll be travelling on Friday. They say 4-8 days, but I believe they also said to order before Monday or something to get next-day? That makes no sense, maybe I dreamed this. Not sure, but PLEEEEEASE let me get it this week.

Even if I don't, it's OK, of course it's OK, but it is a pain in the butt. Whatever. At least the shoes should come on Thursday.

My housemates have been clogging the fridge and taking my space. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind as I barely use my space anyway, but I've recently decided to buy some tuna for sandwiches. I need space. I may need to have a talk with them. Hopefully I don't. We'll see how things go this week.

Feeling a bit tired now.

I'm really passionate about having a pleasant life, I think that's what defines me. I like having little to no worries. That sounds obvious and universal, but you'd be surprised how much people enjoy getting into conundrums and complications. Watching all these fashion videos recently I'm just... Taken aback, by some people's obsession with trends. Isn't that silly? I find it very silly, then again, I'm me so how would I know what's silly or not for anyone else. I don't mean to sound higher-than-thou. My dream isn't to find the next great shoe or the next cool brand, it's to find a nice shirt I can buy 15 of. If there's a shirt I love and think is perfect, I want 15 of them, one for every day of the week, then seven more in case I can't so laundry for some reason, and one extra for laundry day. Socks, briefs, pants, shoes... I feel the same about everything. I want the one piece. THE ONE PIECE?! Yes, voice in my head as I write this, the one piece of clothing that perfectly suits my taste and needs.

It's hard to think of every possible kind of garment that might suit me. There's the short sleeve white T, of course. I'm big on dark colours so I also want the short sleeve T in black. Same thing with cold-weather sweaters. General socks and cold-weather socks, I suppose. Briefs are just briefs. A wind-breaker, a warm-weather raincoat and a cold-weather raincoat, maybe. Light jeans, dark jeans. Hot weather shoes, general shoes, and wet shoes. Hat. Light jacket and warm jacket. Grey sweatpants, grey sweatshorts (you know what I mean). I can't really think of anything else, to be honest. It'd just be a matter of finding the ideal piece for each of these categories and getting duplicates.

Maybe I'm bonkers.

Saw someone on Reddit today say that they felt behind on their finances because they're 35, live in London, and have something like 140k in savings. If I were to keep going at my current pace (which I intend to increase over the years so this wouldn't be the case but still) I'd have around 200k at 35, assuming my investments work out. Perhaps a big assumption, but I believe in it. That's 12 years from now, for me. In my Net Worth sheets I have to track my progress and goals I assume a 3.5% inflation rate. Meaning my 200k at 35 would be equivalent to 132k in today's money. Sure, 3.5% is high, I assumed high inflation on purpose to account for bad things happening in my model, a more reasonable 2.5% would put me at 148k but still, my plan is to be about where that person is right now when I'm them. Terrible sentence there, but hopefully you catch my meaning.

And they felt behind.

Obviously, they aren't behind, but still, that kind of hit me. I don't like to think about this too much, I don't believe it's very productive, but there's that feeling that maybe I'm being too slow. My goal is to be a millionaire by 50, basically. By my calculations, this is possible. Very possible, in fact. I will need to increase how much I save on a monthly basis (I save around €800, currently) but as I progress in my field and my career advances this will hopefully be possible. I mean, if in 10 years time I can start saving just €300 more per month that would make it possible.

So much can change, so much will change. Maybe my priorities will change, but still.

Looking at this, I wonder. Should I have just invested the money I spent on things, this month? I'm scared to get lost in this obsession with getting to seven figures and forget to live comfortably, kinda like how these fashion obsesseds lose track of their identity chasing trends. What a banger line, huh? I'm insufferable.

xoxo

I've been watching a lot of fashion videos on YouTube. They're entertaining and informational, very nice. I love this guy that runs the Iron Snail channel.

I think fabrics, designs, and the history of garments is actually really interesting.

Still, the more I watch these videos, the more I realize how ridiculous the whole Japanese denim thing is. I just don't see it. Being Japanese makes no difference! The prices are ridiculous, I just can't get behind it. I'm not a Japanese denim hater, by any means---I don't know enough about Japanese denim or denim in general to have a strong opinion about this---but this whole shebang stinks of bogus.

I don't know.

Still, the more I watch and the more I research, the more fascinated I become with natural fabrics. Wool, cotton, leather. You really could make every piece of clothing you may need with those 3, it's crazy. Metal and wood are probably also good to have.

They're not even that expensive, which I find pretty crazy. You can get 100% cotton clothes for less than €60 pretty easily, a variety of designs and styles and use-cases. It's really cool, it's really really cool. The more I look into this stuff the more I want to look.

I'll keep looking at this stuff.

Today, I was messaged on Reddit; I was asked for financial advice.

I'm not very active, but when I see a post of someone looking for information on passive fund investing I usually reply with some information. I'm a blabbermouth and a typerfinger so I like to be thorough and careful with what I say. It's the second time someone's messaged me personally asking for further information after reading something I wrote and getting the impression I'm some financial wiz.

Thing is, I've been investing for some 2 months.

I like to help and I believe I'm saying things right, but I'm so scared of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Before I ever put a single cent in the market I looked things up, read and read, listened and asked; I'm as careful and thorough with what I do with my money as I am with my online responses. Still, I'm barely a rookie!

On one hand, if I can help someone, I think I should. On the other hand, how can I help someone if I barely know what I'm doing? I'm confident, really I am, but I'm painfully aware that my year of research isn't enough to know everything, and I'm painfully unaware if it's enough to know even just a few things.

I think I'm staying pretty safe, I try really hard to stay safe; if I err, I try to do it on the side of caution. Still, what am I to do, I wonder.

As I write this, I'm listening to Test Drive from HTTYD. Really good song.

Mostly uneventful week, not much to report today. Hopefully my backpack comes next week, that'd be very, very nice.

Going back to investments though, in these 2 months I've been down as much as like 8% I think? My first investment was right before the crash back in August. Now I'm up almost 2%. It's nothing special, it's nothing fancy or even complicated, and it should work. I really think it will. If it doesn't though, I may be leading some reasonable people astray. I don't know.

At the end of the day, I guess all I can do is what I think is right and live with the consequences.

Jeans. Love 'em, hate 'em, wear 'em. That's how it goes with these things, but which ones to wear? That is the question.

I got Levi's 501s a while back. 100% cotton. They're in the Drive Me Crazier colour and they have this so-called Lightweight denim. Now, let me be transparent here: I used to hate jeans.

Looking back, I'm not sure when this started, but I assume it was sometime in my teens when I was growing rapidly. "Jeans are uncomfortable, they don't fit me, they suck" and whatnots, that's what I used to say, but that's just not true. Jeans fit if you get the right ones, they're comfortable if you get the right ones, and they're stylish if you get the right ones and pair them with the right things. That's a lot to get right, unfortunately, but apparently it's not as hard as it seems.

Just buy 501s!

I've mentioned this several times in these posts, but I'll say it again: that's expensive. I don't mind forking over a wad of cash for quality, but I need to get my money's worth. Really, what I care about isn't price or quality, it's value. I want to buy things that are worth their price, and specifically I want to buy whatever is most worth its price.

The 501s have been serving me very well; I love how light they are, they feel incredibly soft, and they're pretty cool-lookin'. Mind you, I'm not a fashionista and because of my recent weight-loss (yay me :D) they're actually significantly oversized at the waist, but even then I don't think it's a terrible fit. They just look good, really they do. Then again, is there better out there? I think the answer is an undeniable yes.

Wrangler, of course, is the way to go.

I talked about all of this a way's back.

What I didn't talk about was whether or not I would actually go out and buy them. I think I will. Probably in a month or two month's time, but I probably will. My most likely targets are the Wrangler Frontier model. I like the Clever and the Rattlesnake colours very much. What I do wonder though, is if I should buy some darker coloured jeans this time around. The Levi's are very light, and both the Frontiers I mentioned are light as well. I don't know... On one hand, I do tend to prefer the lighter colours, on the other hand I feel like they look a bit casual? Or less professional, I should say. Looking professional isn't exactly my top priority and concern but I do think it'd be nice to have some more formal jeans. I like the Cloudy Skies colour, but they don't have it in my size right now and they have 2% elastane. I wonder how much of a difference the elastane makes.

Something else that kind of bothers me is that, whenever Wrangler jeans are mentioned, the cowboy cut comes up. I don't see what's so good about it. I don't dislike it, mind you---I've never even ever worn one that kind of jeans---but why the cowboy cut over a regular or relaxed straight cut? I just don't see it.

A few days ago, on Sunday, a zipper on my backpack got loose. I think there are ways to fix this, but I couldn't get it back in even with meaningful effort, so I've resigned myself to buying a new backpack.

The old one is that one HP laptop backpack. Hopefully you know the one, because I see it everywhere. I genuinely can't count how many people I've seen with the same model! I don't remember why I decided to buy this one 5 years ago, but I suspect, knowing myself, it was the price, and I assume, knowing everyone else, that is also the reason so many other people have made the same choice.

That being said, the quality does leave something to be desired. Don't get me wrong, it's "fine", but it's not great. For one, it's peeling on the front. For two, it's not waterproof in the slightest. I wouldn't necessarily expect a backpack to be waterproof, much less one that does not advertise itself as such, but still, it's an annoyance, a pretty major one, mind you. I went to check and it actually does say it's water resistant, which I suppose it's fair as it doesn't leave anything you put inside it drenched, but still.

I got paid recently and did some money managing. I invest every month in a global ETF and spend about €430 on rent, bills, food, and whatnots. Also, I'd like to always have at least €300 left in my checking account---this is something I'm heavily debating with myself, actually. On one hand, it's good to always have some extra money lying around. You might just need it! On the other hand... Isn't that what the emergency fund is for? I mean, sure, I may miscalculate and need some additional bucks and it would be nice to have them easily accessible and not have to dip into a savings account for a couple sticks, but €300 worth of sticks?! Is it too much? Maybe, maybe... Regardless, by my calculations I have about €100 this month unplanned. I did my regular investments and have already accounted for the monthly expenses, so it really is just lying around. I mean this to say I could buy a new backpack very easily.

I was convinced JanSport was the choice. Reason being both quality and their 30 year warranty. That's a very, very long time. Not life time, though. Close enough, I'd argue, for a backpack that will see extensive daily use. I'm strongly considering their Cool Student model. It's not waterproof either, but it's big and does everything I need. The one problem with JanSport stuff is that they just have way too many pockets and little things like the organizer pocket. They're student models, I assume that's why they have so much shit.

Here's the thing: there's better out there, so much better...

The Patagonia Black Hole 32L is perhaps my ideal backpack, but it runs €170. Holy golly gee, I really don't want to spend almost 200 on a backpack!

I asked ChatGPT for some help and it actually worked. AI isn't so bad when it's used like this, it's a really effective search engine, I probably never would've found out about Cabinzero if not for it.

The Cabinzero Classic Tech might just be perfect. Now, it is smaller than I'd love at only 28L, but it's still an upgrade from my puny 24L---I can't tell you how many times I've had it packed to the brim. Wanna guess why the zipper came off? I overpacked it.

The Classic Tech has easy laptop access and great padding. Also, it doesn't have all the pockets I don't want. Strongly considering this one.

I also travel relatively often, usually by train, bus, and tram, but I do also travel by plane at least once a year, usually more. This is good, this is good. I'm convincing myself!

The best part? €78. Oh yeah.

I find it hard to believe there's something better out there, this really feels designed for me. I'll look into this a little more before making a decision, and I'm still pondering the Patagonia, but for now just assume I bought the Cabinzero.

I've been feeling my smartphone is very cluttered.

There's lots of apps I don't use or use very infrequently and I find that extremely frustrating! I started a list of every app I actually use but I'm finding it longer than I would like.

What making that list has made me realize, though, is that the ReVanced project is truly amazing; it's one of the greatest things ever to grace this ad-infested internet.

Nothing more to report today. Well, I've been going with a new Firefox setup, recently. Nothing major really, but I like it. It's very minimal. Here's a link and an image:

It's just a one-line hardened Firefox with Sideberry. I slightly modified the sidebar to fit my tastes and changed Sideberry's colours to match the nav bar. It's hardened with Betterfox.

Firefox actually has native vertical tabs now. I found that out on the r/FirefoxCSS, it shocked me really, I had no idea. I was converted recently, anyway. What they don't have yet is tree-style tabs and tab groups. Big deal for me, tree-style. Tryle tabs, if you will. If it weren't for that, I might consider just going with the native functionality---no need for extensions.

I've actually done some work on full-sidebar setup using the native functionality but oh boy is it a pain in the ass. I've seen some people do it but I don't like their implementations. I really have to look into it. Here's a look:

I'll look into it I will...

I do wonder though, if it's even worth it. I mean, when Firefox implements tab groups---which they said they would, I think---or tryle then I'll probably just switch to that. Do some light cosmetic mods or really just the one-line and move on. It takes up so little of the screen anyway, why hide the URL bar away on the sidebar. I don't usually hide the sidebar, actually, I find it annoying more often than not if I can't see my tabs.

I'll think about it, I suppose.

Just now I watched a TikTok wherein a man was being interviewed in prison. He committed a double homicide at the age of thirteen and was sentenced at the age of fifteen to 170 years in prison. At fifteen years old he was condemned to a life behind bars.

People can live and live well in many situations; there's also that one phenomenon wherein people tend to feel "fine" about their situations. We adapt and we start taking things for granted, but that also means that when we have nothing we become content. I actually believe the man can lead a "fine" life in prison, and I really don't want to paint him as some sort of miserable fucker wallowing in incarceration. Then again, a life of imprisonment is a life of punishment. He lives to live out his punishment, that is his life's meaning.

I feel like the stigma against incarcerated people is very strong, at least I feel it very strongly. Logically, I know that just because someone did something bad or, more accurately, was convicted of having done something bad, that doesn't mean that they are, fundamentally, a bad person, someone to fear or to avoid. Still, I feel that urge to cross the street. It's not on purpose and it's not conscious, it's not a thought, it's a feeling, but I do feel it. This man though was smart. Not in the sense of being clever but in the sense of being intelligent, of knowing things. He was incredibly well-spoken and well-informed.

That really scared.

Where I live there is not such thing as a life sentence. As a matter of fact, the worst sentence anyone can possibly get is 25 years. That's a long, long time. Maybe it's too long, but it's not a wasted life. At 15 he would've been out by 40. There's a lot left to live at 50. But what kind of world is this that that's what some people have to think like. They have to think not "what can I do today" but "how much can I do after 40". And that man didn't even have that, he lived to serve out his sentence, to serve, he was a slave, nothing but a body in a cage. No representation in a democracy, his rights eroded and discarded, his life thrown away, rotting in the gutter. A double homicide at 13, at 13 years old, and that's his life. That's it.

To me, this doesn't make sense. Something's wrong, clearly. It's so obvious. How can it be that a 13 year old kid is doomed to a life in striped-vision and orange jumpsuits. How can it be that a society punishes someone so ruthlessly.

That's the fundamental dissonance there, I think. It's punishment, nothing more, and I think that's wrong. I understand the urge, just like I feel that push to cross the street, but we have to be logical. When thinking about how to manage each other, we have to think beyond our biases, we have to make sense and not play it by heart. Punishing isn't right, not like this, not to this extent, at least that much is clear.

If I asked you what is best: the 13 year old learns to live peacefully and productively in society or the 13 year old spends the rest of his life behind bars, what would you answer? I can't imagine that anyone would choose the second option, and quite frankly if someone were to pick the second option I would think they're a monster, drained of humanity and empathy. Of course I think of the victims and their families. Two people were killed. Do they not deserve justice? Of course they do, of course. But what is justice, in this case? An eye for an eye; a life for a life? A life for two lives? I can't imagine that's satisfying. They're still dead. But now a kid is dead also.

I can only think of all the people that spend their lives behind bars but don't have that man's intelligence. If you asked them they would speak poorly and they would show their ignorance, they would be filthy and boisterous or disrespectful and rude. It's easy to hate people like that with a second's judgement. How many people are there that did something terrible as kids, as nothing more than kids, and then are condemned to live out pain, but lack the know-how to speak it, screaming with no mouth.

25 years. I wonder if that's the sweet spot. A 13 year old kills two people, two years later gets sentenced and tried as an adult. Spends 25 years in prison, comes out at 40. What do the families think, and what do they say? "My son's murderer walks free while he rots in a grave." "My sister's murderer walks free while maggots eat her face."

I feel so callous, just thinking about that. The only thing I feel like responding with is "So what?" You grieve so a kid must die? An eye for an eye; a life for a life. That's the rule of beasts, I feel. We need to think. Punishment... Maybe there's something to it. Maybe not to help the criminal, maybe it doesn't help there but there's something to be said in appeasing the victims or those that remain to grieve them. Maybe. But to make someone live solely to suffer is cruel beyond belief. It beggars belief, really, it's absurd and has no reason to exist in civilized society.

I don't have answers, it's painfully clear to me that I don't have answers. Still, I think there's at least some value in pointing out problems. Life sentence is wrong. A life for a life is wrong. This kind of punishment, maybe punishment altogether, is wrong.

I go back to the question I posed earlier, but I'll make it more general:

A kid will either die or live. Which will you choose?

If you choose death, I find you guilty of murder.

A man will either die or live. Which will you choose?

If you choose death, I find you guilty of murder.

And though you are a murderer, I choose that you live.

A few days ago I watched a TikTok about leftists, third spaces, and being social.

I didn't agree with the video on some levels, but it did resonate pretty strongly with me.

The main thesis was that leftism online and pro-social movements are often led or promoted by people and in spaces where people actually display rather anti-social behaviour. Specifically, they talked about how people will complain about the lack of third spaces---not work, not home---and say that that is the reason they stay home, can't meet people, can't get partners, can't enjoy community/interpersonal hobbies, and other such complaints. The video argues that, even if these third spaces existed, these people would not even appreciate them because they're antisocial, they're obsessed with an ideal of society and they are so close-minded, in a way, that they end up ignoring everything and everyone. Now, that part I disagree with. It's not that these people don't exist---I'm sure they do---but from my experience leftists are social people. I'm not someone that enjoys going out to parties and whatnot, events, but I do enjoy talking to other people. I enjoy art, I like to discuss it and I like to talk with others about it. One thing I really love to do is play games.

I think games are a great way to socialize.

I don't frequent any third spaces, right now. I'm sure they're out here, and I think I've actually mentioned one that I know about though it doesn't fit my particular interests, but I love having opportunities to socialize. For me, online is the easiest way to do this because online is where I can find people that share my interests. I don't really feel like there's a need for more third spaces around me. Maybe I'm the antisocial person they were talking about and that's why I don't see the problem, then again I'm not the person complaining about this stuff so maybe not.

Regardless, I've been feeling an itch to play card games. I really, really want to play card games with people. I used to do it all the time with friends, but I haven't in years. A shame, truly.

Hopefully soon I'll get to it.

xoxo