Take your phone out, look at it, get a slightly concerned look on your face that quickly turns to fear, run out the room yelling "No No No NO No No No No No they're not meant to be here this soon", destroy your phone and start a fresh new life.

Alright then, who pissed off Cookie Monster?

I'm going to believe that the thumbnail is the detective that solved the case.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, this is why you hire immature idiots like myself. One look and I knew someone would try and fuck it.

Buy the cheap house away from people, only use short sentences when talking to people when you have to venture into town, make and sell hand crafted wood statues of what you see out your window, build an underground bunker full of state of the art spy technology to monitor the town you live in, create a secret Cabal of other people monitoring their towns, slowly take over your country by blackmailing everyone you can, make it a federal crime to even look at your property, retire and enjoy the privacy.

Captains choice, yet it's Kirk and not Captain Janeway, the true coffee captain.

Everytime I do something I'm gonna say to people " that won't happen for another 150 years".

Come on man, 120gb HDDs don't exist!

It's just 2 hours of Jar Jar Binks slapstick.

Israel going for the world record of breaching the Geneva Convention the most times in one war.