This is the best knock knock joke I've ever encountered; well done OP and Happy Halloween!

Having to use the wrong slash everywhere

I work in IT, I make much more money than I should/need and I work from home in a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt while barefoot. I would just apply for everything, eventually you're gonna hit someone who isn't hung up on image, and the rest will make your interview skills just that much better.

Cheesy gordita crunch

HOW IS THIS NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE???? I've already had my kids and got a vasectomy. It would be so good to have photos like these hanging on the walls for when my boys bring home partners.

If you hate bloat you like Slackware. It doesn't assume anything about how you want to use your computer, so it's more painful for a lot of folks. Other distros will try to do things for you and will ultimately end up doing something someone doesn't want. With Slackware you learn a lot and you get a rock-solid system that will do whatever you like, but you have to be willing to manage it.

godDAMMIT

Hmmmmmmm

How could you write this and not go for "Turbro"?

took me a few prompts to find one I liked, ended up using "D&D style art of databender"

NM has what you're looking for; cost of living is very low, you can kind of pick the climate you want. We're also blue as a twitter check-mark. We're not super-diverse though; mostly white and Mexican descent depending on where you hang your hat.