So I'm going to a hair salon tomorrow. It'll be a day of firsts for me. It'll be the first time I've presented as fem in public somewhere other than at my therapists. It'll be my first time really doing anything fem in public. I'm stressed but excited. So to cope I'm trying on a bunch of different outfits right now to see what I like. I think I've settled on an outfit comprised of a gray teeshirt under a cute orange cardigan. I'm trying to decide if I should do the high waisted jeans I have, or a cute orange hippy skirt I like. I could do the skirt over the jeans or leggings if it stays cold and rainy like today. Decisions decisions
I love his vids! I haven't had a chance to watch his vamp vid yet tho.
I just scheduled my first hair appointment under my girl name and she/her pronouns. 
I've always hated getting my haircut, so I'm more than a little anxious about going. The salon is queer friendly, but it still took like an hour to work up the courage to schedule it. They even ask for pronouns in the booking interface.
The diuretic 
Finally got an invite to the local trans discord group. Buuuuuut the discord isn't accepting new members and now the link is expired. 
Yeah they are hiring for a different location and I got recommended to the other location as a potential hire. It wasn't a case of stalking.
Their response was to ask me if everything was ok and made me pinky promise I wasn't looking for jobs. 
apply with chosen name
This is complicated at the moment. My boss recently found my resume on indeed. If he had found one with my chosen name, it would have been awful.
Is this because you think you won't be able to convincingly do it anymore or because you are wanting to stop?
A little of column A, a little of column B.
I'm also talking about a day that is still months or a year away. I guess I just never gave much thought to the fact that one day "dead name" will be dead.
applying with chosen name
This isn't an option at the moment. It's bad enough that my boss found my resume on indeed. If he had found one with my chosen name it would have been so much worse. Some day though.
Journaling, Navel Gazing
So I'm several hours away this week for work training. This is the same place I was at when my egg cracked back in January. It's really weird being back here since so much has changed. 6 months of HRT and a lot of therapy will do that I suppose. I spent a lot of time last night ruminating about the year so far, and the things to come. So I might as well journal my thoughts.
I can't believe the progress I've made. I have accomplished so much in my life this year so far. I've neglected so much for that last few decades and it feels good to get things done. On top of getting my life together, I also look so different and it's amazing. I have no idea how the cissies around me haven't noticed anything. Or maybe they have and just haven't said anything about it. I do worry about how much longer I can effectively boymode.
On the topic of boymoding, it really hit me last week that one day soon I'll boymode for the last time. That day is approaching and I'm sure I'm not ready for it yet. I barely go out in public in girlmode, though I am getting braver. I really need a new job before I can do anything major, since being outed at work would probably get me fired. Most of my coworkers, all of my management, and a lot of my customers are violently transphobic.
I've been applying for jobs like crazy. But I'm kinda on the fence about how to present for job interviews. I don't know if I should include pronouns in the resume, deadname and chosen name, or just use my chosen name. I am currently applying with just my dead name, and that's probably the easiest for the short term.
Outside of all of that, I want to start streaming regularly. I need to set a schedule and stick to it. I think that streaming will help me work on my voice, as well as help me with my general anxiety. I'm surprised at how anxious I get when I stream, or hang out on vrchat, but it is getting better.
Anyway, just want to end by saying I love all of you. 
Double caution over crest 1 right bad camber, love!
I decided to finally mod in a female codriver into my favorite rally game. It's so much nicer than the robotic British dude shouting at me.
Yoooooo mine is supposed to arrive Friday! So I'm saving this post for the recommendations.