Thanks, but lately I feel more "Oh no, not again"...

That's exactly what I was going for, but I changed watch house to police station for the non-Discworld enthusiasts.

Same, but my company had apartments they owned in multiple cities for this purpose that employees could also use for vacations if you had enough seniority (and no one else was scheduled to use it for business). The London apartment was pretty nice but the New York office was a freaking penthouse. Crazy.

The Thieves Guild punchcard: Get 12 muggings and the 13th converts your mugging to a light burgling at the address of your choice! [*]

[*] You must present your punchcard before physical violence begins. If the address to be burgled is a police station, the next mugging will be upgraded to murder. Management takes 75% of all tips. Do not make Management sad. You wouldn't like Management when it is sad.

ThanOS

Next time, Gort will install Debian and save himself the trouble

I'm surprised they didn't also coat it in radium to make it easier to find in the dark

My dad told me that walnuts were owl eggs.

He got in trouble when I stole all the walnuts in the house and wrapped them in nose tissues to keep them warm so they would hatch and I would have baby owls.

Facial images "stored for no more than 2 weeks" just means that they have 2 weeks to transfer the data to another agency with no storage or transfer requirements.

This is excellent recycling of the cringe original

OVERLAYS

Sorry for shouting, but they are very annoying.

NO I DO NOT WANT TO SIGN UP FOR YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOGGER WITH A RECIPE I NO LONGER WANT