PixelProf

I almost exclusivity self-checkout for groceries, and it had drastically sped up my checkout time as most people in my area opt to use traditional checkout and the stores are still keeping lots of lanes open (just closing the express lanes). The last 3 times I've used a non-self checkout, each time I was double charged for items or didn't have reduced prices applied and didn't notice because I was bagging.

I agree with the recommendation for talking to the doctor; I'm in a similar position. This might be completely unrelated to your situation, so take it with many grains of salt.

What I've been learning is that a lot of my own burnout cycling seems to be cycles of intense and constant masking. I struggle with social situations, following "chronos" time instead of "Kairos" (if you will entertain the misuse of these), and eventually get so buried in obligations and actively resisting my natural impulses that my wants and needs get muddied and untended to and the pain of pretending or entering social modes builds up too much. Being in a mode, "professor mode", "friend mode", "colleague mode", "spouse mode", they all build up the tension and while I can seem socially adept, if I'm not in a mode I'm pretty useless. My Uber drivers can attest. Sometimes I do need a break from social activities while I break down the mask that builds up. A decalcifying of the brain. My friends seem to understand.

I'm a teaching professor, and I love the work, it has high flexibility but strict accountability, lots of room to experiment and find novelty, but a massive social burden and ridiculous workload. The only thing I've found to help so far, besides medication, is doing less. Fewer work obligations meant more time to de-mask, it meant I could take the more time on my tasks that I refused to admit to myself I needed compared to colleagues, more time to do stupid random impulsive (but safe) BS which I've found is the most relaxing to me, and that naturally led to meditating, exercising, and eating a bit healthier, which made things feel more manageable.

I don't know what the long term prospects of this realization are for me, but consider that ADHD usually means that tasks will take longer and more effort than typical people. Admitting to myself that it's a disability and I don't need to work twice or three times as hard as other people to make up for it all the time has been really important.

You also mentioned trauma; a lifetime of letting people down without knowing why really turned me into an over-supporter as an adult. Fawning response to stress - feeling the stress build up and instinctively doing whatever you can to help other people at cost of yourself, rather than fighting or running away or freezing up - and then when you're alone you fight yourself, freeze, or run away from everything. I've been told it's a form of invisible self harm, and it's nefarious because the goal is to make everyone else see things as all right.

So I don't know if any of this clicks true for you, and I don't fully know the solution to these, but awareness of my own issues has helped a lot, and I think awareness and recognition is key to getting started. Years of therapy, meditation, medication, it's all making progress, but it's slow, and awareness has been key to any of the positives. For me, it seems like working less and admitting to myself I have a disability, undoing years of traumatic people pleasing at my own expense, and learning to unmask more in social interactions and at home are key, however that path is treaded.

+1 to safety razors in general. The disposables always used to make my neck and chin look like a horror film, not for lack of research on using. Switching to safety razors, I only shave around my beard so I use the same blades for a long while and shave infrequently, and I've been using the same pack of blades that I bought 5+ years ago. A little cardboard and metal, way less waste, I have a huge supply of razors so I haven't thought about buying in ages, and I get a way better shave after just a little practice.

And the waste reduction can't be understated.

This isn't a informed statement just a hot take, but maybe capitalism wouldn't be so evil if everyone tipped into the growth end of Maslow's before turning insulin into high-end consumer goods.

Yeah, this is the approach people are trying to take more now, the problem is generally amount of that data needed and verifying it's high quality in the first place, but these systems are positive feedback loops both in training and in use. If you train on higher quality code, it will write higher quality code, but be less able to handle edge cases or potentially complete code in a salient way that wasn't at the same quality bar or style as the training code.

On the use side, if you provide higher quality code as input when prompting, it is more likely to predict higher quality code because it's continuing what was written. Using standard approaches, documenting, just generally following good practice with code before sending it to the LLM will majorly improve results.

Every time. Try to get ahead of your work? Well, good for you, that first 20% went really well, now let's spend the next two weeks on "work" that interferes with your other needs and needs to get thrown out because there's no way it's integrating with the other 80% that needs to happen within the next hour and also everything that you did for the other 20% is useless and needs to be redone now that you broke it with that tangent.

It's been a painful summer "preparing" to teach my fall courses.

I sit somewhere tangential on this - I think Bret Victor's thoughts are valid here, or my interpretation of them - that we need to start revisiting our tooling. Our IDEs should be doing a lot more heavy lifting to suit our needs and reduce the amount of cognitive load that's better suited for the computer anyways. I get it's not as valid here as other use cases, but there's some room for improvements.

Having it in separate functions is more testable and maintainable and more readable when we're thinking about control flow. Sometimes we want to look at a function and understand the nuts and bolts and sometimes we just want to know the overall flow. Why can't we swap between views and inline the functions in our IDE when we want to see the full flow? In fact, why can't we see the function inline but with the parameter variables replaced by passed values to get a feel for how the function will flow and compute what can be easily computed (assuming no global state)?

I could be completely off base, but more and more recently - especially after years of teaching introductory programming - I'm leaning more toward the idea that our IDEs should be doubling down on taking advantage of language features, live computation, and co-operating with our coding style... and not just OOP. I'd love to hear some places that I might be overlooking. Maybe this is all a moot point, but I think code design and tooling should go hand in hand.

Yeah, Barkley's talks have helped a lot so far. Previous psychiatrists largely wrote off diagnoses because I was successful in work, but overlooked the challenges at home. Some trauma therapy combined with Barkley's unique focus of adult symptoms of ADHD really opened my eyes to it.

Still doubts, still confusion, but clearing up.

The beatings will continue until ~~morale~~ productivity improves.

Edit: Sorry, morale is irrelevant.

I'm really torn on this, because on one hand the over generalization of ADHD prevented me - and is still preventing me - from taking my own diagnosis too seriously, but that same information got me to at least think about it and get a consult with a psychiatrist on it in the first place.

It helped the diagnosis but not the feelings of being an imposter post-diagnosis.

It's also tough to reconcile that I may thrive in high pressure situations, but they're still exhausting and I don't like them, and definitely not being dependent on them to do anything. Medication helped the minute to minute, but the week to week is still a total blur.