That's intense! You'd expect attempted rape to be thought of as quite a serious crime!

Actually some of the most naïve people I've ever met were theretofore academically successful.

I had a temp job in 2006 where I'd have to reply to e-mails for a car insurance company, and it was so mind-numbing I'd be typing out the templates instead of copy-pasting just to pass the time. At a given point I decided to start signing all my e-mails with fake names beginning with R, so Roger, Robbie, Reg... I think I'd flown too close to the sun when the manager stood up and called out, "and who the fuck is Ruddiger?"

One thing I find funny about the original meme is that the hands are just dirty and manly, like you can't see any calluses or cuts or whatever, so it's like a hand shibboleth.

This motherfucker when their wife tells them about their day: there was no beginning, middle, or end; the climax wasn't revealed in chronological order; the hero is clearly a Mary-Sue...

No mention of viridian, a blueish green, in these comments, I see.

It's like I've told a number of my bosses in the past: you have to treat the people making your money for you well, or they just fuck off. They never listen, and everyone always just fucks off. I'm a soothsayer!

It'll be awkward when they discover a new syndrome where your head explodes and the name's already taken.

In a normal paper like I used to buy on the way to work, this headline would be something like "bloodties the knot" or "trouble in paradise" or something. We've strayed from the light.

“Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.” ― Charles Bukowski

"Crust from your wound"? You couldn't word it a bit more disgustingly?

He's still wearing the same suit with the red tie? The man's like Bart Simpson.