Lobanova

In person, I try to keep my expectations reasonable. I know that lesbians are just ordinary people without magic powers and most of them probably don’t want a fangirl losing control at the sight of them and begging them to autograph her pride flag; they just want to live normal lives. Since I know that plenty of people find “celebrity treatment” unsettling, I try to act natural, too.




But…


I have another confession to make: the sight of ladies being intimate with each other enchants me; a magic power that they can either threaten to use or activate when they want to hypnotize others and control their simple minds. I can barely begin to describe it. It looks like the best thing in the world; the only kind of magic that there is, or at least the closest thing. That’s why I keep making threads in /c/lascivious_lesbians about giving you extravagant luxuries: there’s nothing that would make me happier than all lesbians living like deities in paradise! They’re perfect!

But… um… should I keep hiding this… perception of mine? While I never planned on introducing myself to everybody as a lesbian supremacist and lesbolater anyway (I am not that socially awkward), I feel like if I ever told this to queer ladies in particular, they’d start avoiding me; it sounds too weird.

I am kind of worried that by sharing this I’ll unintentionally “validate” our oppressors when in reality this should only make decent people care more about stopping cancer; I really don’t wanna live in a world with fewer lesbians.

• LGB cisgender women may have a higher risk of breast cancer than heterosexual women due to risk factors like fewer childbirths and higher alcohol use.

[…]

The best way to catch breast cancer early is through regular mammograms and screenings, but research shows that LGB women and transgender people are less likely to get screenings than cisgender, straight women. According to the 2021 Out: National Cancer Survey conducted by the National LGBT Cancer Network, around 30% of TGNB people never received a cancer screening test prior to their cancer diagnosis.

Oh, fuck my life.

Sometimes I wish that I could just sleep forever.

I remember numerous months ago when a study came out showing that of the people now identifying as LGBT+, most of them were bisexual. Somebody commented something along the lines of “this kinda proves my theory that everyone is bisexual.” I’ve seen this sentiment before then, though.

I have mixed feelings: most of the people proposing this are themselves bisexual and usually saying it in good faith. I have little doubt that there are more bisexuals than we think, too; they hesitate to identify as such due to factors like stigmatization and unawareness.

Even so, this suggestion still rubs me the wrong way: it invalidates our own identities and implies that we “just haven’t found the right man yet”, like we only need to subject ourselves to dozens of guys (either in person or from photographs) and eventually we’ll win the lottery. There are plenty of other things that I would rather be doing. I suppose that somebody could argue that I must be bisexual because umpteen years ago I found a few guys attractive, but that categorization would be so misleading as to be useless.

What do you think?

(Mirrors. Commentary.)

When you look at that, what does it look like?

It makes me scared—like, I’m…I’m a bit…emotional watching it ’cause that’s…I can’t imagine me being that young in that situation ’cause I know I would have been there. I have been at climate rallies, which is so similar, so I…I know what the…uh…the atmosphere is like, but to be one of those young people in front of so many police, like so many people in uniform: that’s terrifying.

I can see you’re crying.

That’s not mean, too—sorry. [Sic?] It’s scary.

No, I want to say thank you for your compassion! Thank you for your compassion!

But, like, you went through that and people went through that so that my generation don’t have to.

(Mirrors. Also, I should maybe mention that the interviewer briefly mentions child abuse that she suffered, somebody says a slur a few times, and they briefly discuss suicide.)

I then put an ad in The Village Voice in the personals, and got a response from another wom—I got many responses, which was a hole other trip, it was a hole other experience anyway, mainly bisexual women who wanted to have their husbands there. Not what I was looking for.

I can’t believe that this type of BS has been going on for decades!

I remember when I was moderating a Reddit subcommunity about NSFW all-women clips, and somebody left a rude comment on a butch lady’s submission because of her appearance. She tried to be diplomatic by telling him(?) that “it’s not for everyone”, and I joined in with “Have you ever heard of the expression ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’?”, but this guy wasn’t having it.

While I think that the rude commenter was a guy, I’ve seen this sentiment from other types as well. When I lurked the nauseatingly toxic L Chat forum, there were anonymous users dissing butch women by calling them cliché or unattractive, saying “I want my women to look like women”, and so on.

Let me be clear: if the femme aesthetic is your personal favorite, then cool. I tend to prefer femme looks myself. But being elitist about your preferences and dissing butch women — as if they all had an obligation to look “perfect” for you — is as utterly unnecessary as it is unpleasant. This may be surprising to read, but not every single woman needs to turn you on! You can appreciate them for reasons other than their appearance! And you can keep your unsolicited feedback on their appearance to yourself! It’s so easy that even I can do it!

I know that I should have let these memories go, but maybe expressing how I feel about them would help with that. That concludes my rant.

Source: https://xcancel.com/ArachnidMafia/status/1532715959886159872

I feel guilty about my obsession, not because it’s sexual, but because it sounds disturbing. Also, I feel like I must be a shallow person who is not interesting for more than five minutes. I certainly have a few other interests, but this secret one is special to me.

Is this an instant turn-off that I should hide as much as possible? I’ve seen jokes ridiculing guys for being breast-obsessed but I am too socially awkward to tell if it is more the obsession itself or the apparent disinterest in both personality and meaningful relationships that turns people off.

Update: I’m surprised at how many comments this thread received and how many users wanted to see my pinball table! I restricted it to private messages partly because I assumed that NSFW images were forbidden here, and partly because I used numerous other artists’ assets without permission (I had not intended to publish it anyway).

That said, a moderator told me that I could share it provided that I marked the topic NSFW and I credited the artists whose work I used. I modified a small part of it based on one of your suggestions. Click here to see it!

(Brand new account because I feel too nervous to ask this under my main.)

Is it wrong or really weird that sometimes I like to imagine that all women are lesbians?

I never take this to the extreme, like going up to confirmed cishet women and telling them what their sexuality “really” is. By “sometimes” I mean that I only think like this when I am alone, with a lover, or with a good friend.

I never see anyone else talk about this, so I feel like I must be weird, maybe even unwell.