Lesbians

So some context, my gf (I guess currently ex..) and I had been dating for ~8 months prior to Nov 8th, where we had a difficult "conversion" (Mostly me sobbing) about her needing to figure herself out in being polyamorous. This is the second time this happened, though the first time was very short lived and didnt result in anything being learned really.

I would consider myself mono, but I'm not opposed to trying new things. If it means I can stay with her I am willing to try anything, especially since our bond is insanely tight. Im the first person she felt the breakup conversation should happen in person and she was sobbing right along with me, though with a bit more control of her language.

I really don't know what to expect, as I just sent the message saying I'd be willing to try it once we go over our boundaries and recover from this whole thing (Shes likely at work, so I dont expect a response for a few hours). Anyone who has some insight it would be really appreciated to share.

I'm really scared, since its hard for me to find people in town that I bond with this closely. I need that physical bond, online relationships just dont work for me. I guess as a silver lining, me crying this much is a sign the hrt is starting to take some effect 😅

-Nikki

@lesbians Maude Adams was an American #lesbian actress, singer, dancer and comedian. She would be 153 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maude/_Adams

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/34247810

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/34247713

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay. I am reporting again because the situation here is still really hard. The landlord who had earlier threatened to throw us out hasn’t come back since he left. We’re honestly still living in fear that when he returns, he might chase us away. We don’t know what will happen and that fear alone keeps us restless. Right now we also don’t have any food left, it’s really painful that I can’t even use the small money we have for something to eat because it’s meant for rent.

Being a refugee in South Sudan is honestly the hardest thing that we have no access to most basic needs because we’re visible transgenders. This makes it hard for us to seek help or safety because every is always watching us and many be questioning us if we are Male or female. We can’t go back to the camp since the government chased us out and now the camp itself is being targeted by nationals who believe we shouldn’t be there at all

We’ve been struggling since day one and you’ve been our only support and last hope. I know it’s overwhelming to see another post asking for help especially with everything happening in the world but we are just desperate right now.

So far, we’ve managed to raise $267 out of $950, meaning we still need $683 to clear rent and secure our shelter. Please consider helping us through the link in the Profile/Bio

Please if you can help or share it will mean so much to us. You’ve always been our hope when things get too heavy and we’re truly grateful for that. CyaraKaira

I am very shy and very MUCH in denial…

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/34171041

Hello everyone, trust all is well. My name is CyaraKaira and I’m one of the transgenders living in South Sudan. My journey has been really horrible from Uganda to Kenya’s Kakuma Refugee Camp where my sisters and I faced so much transphobia including stripping us naked, beating, stoning and killing us.

UNHCR Kenya had to place us in a protection area. Honestly, the protection area was even worse unsafe and full of fear so we had to run for our lives again and that’s how we ended up in South Sudan. We stayed in Gorom refugee settlement for some months under UNHCR until the government had to chase us out of the camp because of gender identity. We stayed on the streets of Juba until we got a shelter through all your support

I’m updating because we’re now facing a serious problem. We have not paid rent for two weeks. Yesterday our landlord came to the shelter with his receipt book demanding payment. We didn’t have the money. We only had a little of it and he refused to take it insisting full payment. This made him really angry. He said if we don’t pay immediately he will call the local council to throw us out. He even started asking why we came to South Sudan, which was so painful and frightening because answering that truthfully can put us in danger.

Getting this shelter wasn’t easy. Most landlords here ask for IDs, and we only have UNHCR registration proof. Being an Ugandan refugee is risky because people either think you’re a terrorist or LGBTQ. This landlord didn’t ask too many questions, and that’s how we managed to stay. But now he’s threatening to evict us when he returns. We currently have 267$ out of 950$ we still need 683$ to cover up the rent please.

There is also a video of a South Sudanese national calling upon other Sudanese to attack the rest of the community that hasn’t managed to leave the camp. This also puts us at risk because the video is on social media, also my sister Tasha uploaded it on the fundraiser.

Please, if anyone can help us cover the rent, we would be so grateful. Your support means everything to us right now. The support link is in the bio/ profile

Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for standing with us.

They've kissed and they're going to live on a farm together with lots of bunnies. (Pitty she's too young to rent a U-Haul). I feel very grateful that I live in a place where she feels comfortable expressing this.

@lesbians Natalie Clifford Barney was an American #lesbian writer. She would be 149 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalie/_Clifford/_Barney

Was wondering what people think about the label "lesbian" and what it means, and who should or shouldn't use it.

There was someone on Bluesky who was upset when they learned I sometimes identify as a lesbian because I'm a woman in a long term relationship with a woman, even though I'm technically bisexual. (I've only ever dated women, would only ever want to date women.)

They said I was appropriating the label "lesbian", that I was lesbophobic, and that I was communicating that it's shameful to be bisexual. (For clarity, I don't hide that I'm bi, I will identify that way in some contexts, and in others I will identify as a lesbian - usually I identify as lesbian around straight people, and among LGBT+ folks I'm more likely to identify as bi or communicate more about my sexuality; tbh it doesn't come up much, and my sexual orientation not a big part of how I like to identify).

I tend to think a label like "lesbian" communicates a sexual or romantic relationship between two women, so I'm surprised to interact with someone who was so rigid about the label that it cannot apply to someone who is even capable of opposite-sex attraction ...

I'm not sure I would ever date a man, so sometimes "lesbian" or "sapphic" are labels that feel more accurate to who I am than a term like bisexual, which implies more openness than I actually have. It's also irrelevant for me since I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman, from the perspective of others in my life, I have been and will continue to be a lesbian ...

I just wonder where the rigidity comes from, and why the person thought I was lesbophobic. I wasn't able to ask her or learn about her perspective, so I was hoping someone would help me understand wtf just happened, lol

So my girlfriend "Lily" hasn't texted me in over a week. I can tell she is alright and receiving my messages, as it says she has read them, but she won't respond, even if I send something romantic like "I love you" or just say something like "let me know when you can hang out".

Lily is usually busy and will text me "Sorry can't talk right now" and that will be the end of our conversation. My friends, however, said that this is suspicious and means she doesn't WANT to talk because if she couldn't talk right NOW she would at least answer later instead of just reading it. ' I have no idea, it's been a week and I haven't heard from her.

@lesbians Eleanor Roosevelt was an American #lesbian diplomat and activist. She would be 141 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor/_Roosevelt

@lesbians Harriet Hosmer was an American #lesbian sculptor. She would be 195 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet/_Hosmer

@lesbians Esther Lape was an American #lesbian journalist and activist. She would be 144 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esther/_Lape

So, I'm gonna preface this by saying that I know my own sexuality is for me to define, and me alone. I'm just looking to hear some outside opinions to hear more than just my own internal voice.

For quite some time, I considered myself a lesbian. I only really felt like I could be attracted to women or perhaps some enby folks; men for me felt completely out of the question. I'm demisexual (perhaps demiromantic as well, but I haven't really been in situations where I could test that out), and so I need someone that I can connect with emotionally. For me, that's always been women, as we just get each other on a level that I have never found with men, and with an emotional maturity that's lacking in the men I've met in my life.

Then I met a trans man that I really hit it off with, and after getting to know each other really well, I fell into a situationship. At that point, I considered that I must be bi, because I was having feelings and open to doing things with a man. But now that I've been out of that situationship for quite some time, I can't help but think that despite our initial emotional connection, him and I didn't really connect the way I wanted. It was more trauma bonding than anything, really. Of course, that was clouded by the fact that he was my favorite person at the time, when I didn't realize I had BPD, so any connection felt amazing in the moment. I'm not sure if anything would have ever happened if it weren't for my BPD.

I've been beginning to think that I'm not sure about the bi label anymore, because for the most part, my lack of attraction to men hasn't really changed, at least not on the emotional/romantic part. It feels like he was an exception, which feels very strange to me. I mean, I have no fear in who I'm attracted to, so I don't feel like that's a denial response, I think more than anything I'm still just figuring out who I am? Or maybe my BPD led me into a situation that defies my sexual or romantic orientation? I think the way I'm most comfortable identifying myself is that I'm romantically a lesbian, but sexually bi, though my being demisexual kind of means I don't see myself ending up in a situation in the future where the distinction matters.

Does that make sense? I just wanna hear someone else's thoughts on the matter because I've had a tough time fully resolving my thoughts by myself the past 5 months.

If anything, this is kind of just a vent post.

If I ever break up with her (which I hope i won't), i will take a break from dating for a while, but we're giving each other exactly what we need and want and things are going great!

my ex was talking about how we didn't REALLY know each other, but since i've been friends with this girl already, i feel really happy.

we've already kissed!

@lesbians Mary McCarthy was an American #lesbian actress, singer, dancer and comedian. She would be 102 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary/McCarty/(actress)

@lesbians Anita Augspurg was a German #lesbian photographer, feminist, pacifist and doctor of law. She would be 168 years old today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anita/_Augspurg

But it shouldn’t only be the long hair girls :3

So, I had a girlfriend but we decided to break up because I found out she was using me so I could buy her sodas... so my friend and I ended up bonding and connecting really well so I just went for it. We have a strong bond. :)

@lesbians Margaret Lindsay was an American #lesbian actress. She would be 115 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret/_Lindsay

cross-posted from: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/post/300102

The "We Are America March" arrives in DC tomorrow!! (Rule)

This group has walked from Philly to DC!! Any DC folks should also show up.

Random question, but what if Cinderella got with a lady instead!! :)

@lesbians Greta Garbo was a Swedish #lesbian actress. She would be 120 years old today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greta/_Garbo

Belle, age 16, throws away the heart of Catherine, age 15. She didn't really love Catherine, not really, so she had to string along Catherine like a doll so as not to upset her. I suppose, in a way, it seemed like a different kind of love, the way she didn't want to upset her.

Catherine gave and gave, and Belle sat, taking it all and forcing herself to give when she had barely anything. Belle, age 36, calls Catherine one day, her old friend from high school. She's finally ready to tell her she misses her and loves her, all those sweet words she didn't want to say 20 years prior. And yet Catherine said "I moved on, Belle. Why can't you?"

i need support, im panicking right now. i swear, the only people who ever like me realize they're aromantic or fear of commitment.

edit: not panicking, need someone to talk to. i'm upset about someone who was never mine. she just liked me, she wasn't mine. i wasn't hers.

i need to process things, ugh

how can i be romantic with my girlfriend without kissing her or without getting gifts or anything because she doesn’t want to? just spend time together and say “i love you” maybe? i know there’s other ways to be romantic but idk how