Grogon

Just wondering if this is just me or what this could be..

I am 5 years younger than my brother and his friends, but when I was like 20 (they were 23-25) we still partied together etc. but it was always this thing me and my friends were always the "kids".

Which actually makes sense.

My brother showed me pictures of all of us on christmas and even if I look at the pictures now (I am 34 now) if I were to be able to travel to that moment at my current age in that picture I'd still feel like they are more "adult" than me.

Not even more adult in sense of responsible, but on the pictures they are all so big, beards,..

I think I'd still have difficult time connecting with them properly even though I'd be older in my unrealistic scenario of porting me into that picture at my age.

Anyone else experience something simular?

This isn't actually something I am making up. I went to Thailand last year (33 years old) and went into a hostel that I stayed back in 2016, so almost 10 years ago.

I swear all the 22 year olds were the cool dudes and I felt out of place again, just like back then. I wasnt into partying like that but just by the look of some dudes it's insane. I thought someone was about my age, turned out he just turned 20.

Im not unmuscular but not too muscular either, I climb regulary so just an average dude. People even thought I'm 20 omg.

A good friend of mine moved away 10 years ago.

Where I am from it's only a 3 hour drive cause we never meet at his place but some neutral location between where he lives and where "we" live. With "we" I am refering to my friend group and his friend group but we didn't move away.

Nothing wrong actually so far, just a few things have changed drastically.

We are all now 30 years old, he still invites us every year and it's always the same. He is a cool person, but he has absolutely 0 hobbies. And since I am into gym since 3 years it's the hardest time for me cause we always end up in the middle of NOWHERE and the only thing to do is get drunk and try to get those 3 days over with.

He doesn't drink and I am also limiting it. But we have absolutely NOTHING to do and everything I suggest gets rejected cause my and his current friend group are "drinkers", they can just drink the whole weekend and call it a weekend.

In 6 weeks we are driving to this location for 3 days (2 nights) and I already know just by looking at google maps it's gonna get boring if I don't drink.

The closest gym is 60 minutes away, and why would I go to the gym if Im with my friends? They don't like climbing, so bouldering is not a thing. They hate spas, so going to swim is also not gonna happen.

I think Im the only one who can snowboard but honestly I dont want to go snowboarding cause I have a flight end of february to thailand and dont want to risk breaking something.

I feel bad becaus he is a nice dude but we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. And our friendgroup is still just drinking alcohol which I am trying to avoid since a few years.

The last time we went shopping for grocery for about 4 hours (wtf...) and never left the house those 3 days and just got drunk and cooked all day.

It was super awkward. Especially for me, since I am not a huge fan of groups and I always have to "use the bathroom" to get some space. The worst thing for me is having no space, since its shared rooms and the only way to escape is to either take a sh.it or shower which I obviously cant do all day.

Dunno what to do.

Last year I dodged it by really being sick and the year before I was in Sri Lanka.

They are actually all nice people, but I just thinking of playing Uno, Monopoly, drinking, cooking, or walking through the middle of nowhere with a beer in my hand makes me want to cry.

At home I could atleast go to the gym, play my video games, not waste my money on this location and food I dont want to eat.

I have a few ideas. I might go with anything from Prince (Purple Rain) Led Zepplin (Stairway to heave).

Millie is Bon Jovis daughter in law, so "Prayer" could fit too.

But they said they got the song with Kate Bushs help... maybe Peter Gabriel? Or Pink Floyd?

Or Eddie is coming back to save them with Iron Maiden - Troopers or Run to the Hills lol.

Or just a time jump to 1999 and playing Prince - 1999

Any guesses til the final episode?

Hey, im skinny fat... currently 83 kg, started last year at 83.9 kg, droped to 75.5 kg and since july slowly going up in kgs sgain

I was able to do 1 Wide Grip Pull Up and 0.5 Close Grip this time last year. Now I can do 5x6-8 weighted Neutral Grip Pull Ups with about 5 kgs on me.

So I must have also gained muscle.

But if I look in the mirror I still didnt change lol.

Im 175 cm, 83.3 kg now and male. Id say thin arms, belly,...

Here is a pic for reference if me.

What would you guys do if you were me? Skinny arms, fat belly/ chest, skinny legs.

Working on few key lifts...

• Overhead Barbell 5RM is 45 kg
• Bench Dumbbells is 5RM 27.5 kg
• Barbell Squart 5RM 80 kg ...

So not very strong either lol. I think I barbell Benchpress 65 kg for 5 Reps Max :(

Trying to hit 2800 kcal a day and about 2g protein per kg/ bodyweight. Doing upper lower splitwith cardio zone 2 on wednesday and saturday

Ye TIFU big time, not only today but the next years to come.

I always thought I wanted kids, but after we married I started realising I don't want kids. I like the freedom I have, playing video games, going to gym, travel,... all with only my wife.

My TIFU: I realised way too late after marrying and building a house that wanting kids will never be what I want. I always listened to people: "That will change, believe me"; "When your older you will!"

The thought of a kid might be good sometimes, but the more I think of it the worse it gets.

I had to talk with my wife and she started crying, understandable.

We are now in our house, I still love her and she still loves me but the kids problem is a huge problem cause she only wants kids with me. She is now 33, already "old" for kids.

I think I destroyed everything. I can't change somehow that I don't want kids, I was hoping that my thoughts of "Yeah maybe in future, would be cool" would turn into something I'd do anything for. But it's just not happening and I feel like I lived a lie to her, giving her wrong hopes and we married, built house,...

It's nothing I couldn't solve though, I just feel bad for her and I feel like I should just give her a kid before her chance vanishes. I don't think she will find a new man in a while to get kids right away. She is already 33.

I don't know what her plans are yet. I told her Im open to anything, let her date and find someone I don't want to be in her way and I won't make it harder than it already is. I'd just disapear a while and if she needs me she can call. I'd always be there for her, even if she finds a new person and this person would break up with her I'd support her even if it wouldn't be my own child.

It's weird cause I still love her, she loves me (I guess), but the "child problem" is so huge I dont want to say: "you cant have kids" nor do I want to just get a kid to make her happy.

The best thing that could happen is if she would find someone who wants kids and loves her just as much as I do and me leaving.

Once this is all over I will never ever get a new person in my life. Not because I couldn't, I just want my peace. I think Im a loner and better off alone. But I'd still be there if she calls me in the middle of the night (if she would, I don't think she'd ever do it after this) but I'd still remain helping her if ever needed. This doesn't make it easier for her though. And not for me either.

But the TIFU is about me fuc.king up and I guess it's all me to blame for not wanting childrend and knowing this so "late" after all this.

Nothing I can fix. The only solution would be just making a kid and playing my role the next 18 years until it moves out.

EDIT: Im just discovering that I more and more do not want kids. Looking at my friends, who can't sleep all night, who can't go on vacations or afford simple things,... or even worse: looking at my friend who has 3 kids and a house but divorced. He is living in a 20m² room, paying 1200 € child support and 50% f the house and he is broke. And yes, there are also positive examples of quiet kids and good families, but I just don't want to risk it and just cause I raise a kid doesn't mean it'll be with me forever.

I know many people 60+ who have children that never visit them.

Hey

I am in the gym since 10 months but I felt like I wasn't going anywhere.

The gym routine I am now doing since 4 weeks is basically a Push Pull Legs but I only do PPLPP Rest Rest. At the end of my push workout on monday I do Squats with light weight and at the end of my pull day I add RDLs with light weight.

"+" behind Sets always means the last set is an AMRAP Set.

Monday Push A:

• 5x5+ Incline Barbell Bench Press
• 3x8(-12) Standing Barbell Shoulder Press
• 3x8(-12) EZ Bar Skullcrushers
• 3x10+ Machine Chest Flies
• 3x10+ Pushdowns
• 3x10+ Cable Lateral Raises
• 3x10 Barbell Squats

Tuesday Pull A:

• 5x5+ Weighted Pull Ups (currently 5 kg added)
• 3x8(-12) T Bar Rows Chest supported
• 3x8(-12) EZ Bar Curls
• 3x10+ Reverse Machine Flies
• 3x10+ Rope Hammer Curls
• 2x15+ Cable Face Pulls

Wednesday:

• 5x5+ Barbell Squats
• 5x3+ Deadlifts
• 3x8(-12) Leg Press
• 3x10+ Calf Raises Smithmachine
• 3x10+ Leg Curls
• 3x10+ Leg Extensions

Thursday:

• 5x5+ Seated Barbell Shoulder Press
• 3x8(-12) Incline Dumbbell Bench Press
• 3x8(-12) Pushdowns
• 3x10+ Machine Chest Flies
• 3x10+ EZ Bar Skullcrushers
• 3x10+ Cable Lateral Raises

Friday:

• 5x5+ T Bar Rows Chest supported
• 3x8(-12) Regular Pull Ups
• 3x8(-12) Rope Hammer Curls
• 3x10+ Reverse Machine Flies
• 3x10+ EZ Bar Curls
• 2x15+ Cable Face Pulls
• 3x10 RDLs

Thats basically all I do... is this too much after 10 months consistant training without a program?

I am natural, I try to eat a lot but hardly make it to 2700 kcal a day. My protein requirement is always met...

My thought behind this is that I can only have 1 leg day, since my legs are sore anyways for 4-5 days and can get another extra rest day saturday instead of another workout day.

So basically I am still hitting Squats "light" on monday and heavy on Wednesday and RDLs light on Friday. I took Deadlifts instead of RDLs for Wednseday though.

So today I learned that in my country people have a lot of hobby dogging courses. You basically bring your imaginary dog to a real dog trainer and train your imaginary dog with other owners of imaginary dogs.

I had to find a link that explains what it is. But I just wittnessed a group in my local area

Hey.

I am working nightshift since a few years and the place I work at has absolutely nothing to do for me at night. I also work alone.

I haven't even told my wife, friends or anyone this yet and I plan not to do so, cause it might be used against me if for any reason I lose friendship or if my wife breaks up with me for any reason in the future.

I do 1 hour of work. I prepare medication for the next day and clean the storage place for medication. After that I do nothing. I even bought a laptop where I use my hotspot (mobile) to play video games from 10 - 5.

I only play games if I can't sleep. I am not allowed to sleep, but I did it a few times already and no one noticed. My wife leaves for work when I get home, so I have breakfast with her and then I "lay down in bed" but when she is gone I get back up and go to the gym. I don't want her to know I am awake every morning.

I clean the house while she is at work, I go to gym, etc. and when she is home we do something together and she always says: "you don't have to clean after your nightshift, you need rest."

Well I don't. I rest enough...

I feel bad. Doing this since 4 years and don't know if I should tell anyone, but I figure I ask here first what your opinions on this is.

Is this somehow cheating? I feel like a cheater for not atleast telling this my wife, but imagine if we break up horrible for whatever reason in 10 years and she runs to my work place?

She knows I don't have to do too much so I just tell her I only need 4-5 hours sleep after my shift and that it's enough for me.

Edit:

I even have a different account on discord where I play with my "american friends" who are online while I am online at night. I don't want my friends to know, cause 1 of my friends is a friend of a coworker of mine who works dayshift. He shouldn't know about this.

So basically I have a kind of double life. The life and friends in day time and the friends I see if I can't sleep during my nightshift that I play with. My american friends know about this, but they have no idea where I live in europe. I told them england, cause it's the only country I can fake the language properly without accent cause I grew up in america.

I am probably putting too much energy in this but since a few years it's fine. I sometimes think I atleast should tell this my wife.

I also can't quit this job. It's really good paying (nightshift bonus) + I can do what I want. I love it...

Hey I am kind of feeling sad right now.

I started working out in December 2024 and since then I am consistantly in the gym. I started off with Full Body for a month but got bored and did a Upper Lower Split for maybe 6 weeks and then I swapped to PPL.

I ran PPL 6x a week.

My workout I could just say was (imo) on the lower end (Push had 2 Chest, 1 Shoulder, 1 Triceps // Pull had 1 Vertical 1 Horizontal 1 Shoulder (Face Pulls basically) and 1 Bicep exercise and Legs I did Barbell Squats, Leg Curls, Extensions, Calf Raises and 1 Ab Exercise)

I am still SKINNY. I mean not skinny my chest and belly are still fat and my arms and legs skinny.

What I changed in diet: Increased Protein intake from never ever tracking in my life to 2.2 g per kg bodyweight. I cut out most crap but still it bad stuff cause I need kcal to gain muscle. I try to eat healthy 3000 kcal a day but its hard but I always have my 2.2g of protein a day in me. The lowest I tracked was 4 months ago 1.55 gramm protein. The highest I had was a month ago with 2.9g of protein per kg bodyweight.

I started at 83.9 kg, droped to 76.5 kg (kcal reduced to 2100-2300) and now I am back to 80 kg after I increased kcal a month and half ago to 3000 kcal.

I am still benching only 22.5 kg (8 reps) dumbbells. I started at 15 kg which is already nothing (male, 32 years old) now. I started Lat Pulldowns at about 30 kg now I am at 73 kg (6 reps)

What am I doing wrong? How can a body (again I am a 32 year old male) only bench 60 kg (Barbell Flatbench Press) for 3 Reps??

Its depressing. People start off at 60 kg. I worked my way to 60 kg and thats considered beginner lift. And I cant even do 4 reps lol.

My genetics are so bad I honestly dont know what to do at this point.

Maybe PPLPPL is too much and I am not recovering properly? But its only 4 exercises day. And I dont even feel tired after training - despite not even being able to lift another rep. People say you should feel exhausted after training. I think if Id go back to the gym I can do another 9 reps of my last weight. But I cant do more than 9 reps of something if my energy is gone.

Today I did Cable Hammer Curls (38 kg...) 11 Reps, then 8 in my second set and in my third set I made 6 reps. It wasnt possible to get 7. I squeezed so hard to try to get the 7 but it wasnt possible. I took a shower, came back to the cable machine and did 9 reps of hammer curls with 38 kg. So I didnt train to failure earlier?

I just want to look decent and not skinny anymore. I need help....

Going to the gym isnt actually the problem at this point. I am so ready for my workouts I cant wait to go again. A reason why I prefer PPLPPL over Upper Lower or Full Body cause I have time to be in the gym every day for 1-2 hours (my workouts currently with these 4-5 exercises only 50 minutes per workout though) but Id have time for more if it was worth it.

Edit: Yeah it might look like progress my Lat Pulldown 30 kg to 73 kg (6 reps) but how am I even sure if I wasnt able to do 73 kg in december 2024 already? I never tried it. I just started off at 30 kg. I remember the 30 kg feeling quite hard, but just by looking in the mirror Id say I didnt gain strength/ muscle at all. My wife says I look wider but I think she is just wanting me to feel proud lol.

I slightly remember trying to Bench Press the Barbell (20 kg at my gym) and did a few reps and added 5 kg left and right (so 30 kg) but I eventually instantly switched to Dumbbells cause I had no spotter and was alone most of the time in the gym and didnt want to die early by weights squooshing me. But I also never really bench marked my barbell bench.

I am now way too addicted to the gym to quit this and I want to improve. So I wont quit... but it is super frustrating not seeing any changes (to me, my wife says she sees difference) and not seeing my compound lifts go up in weight.

Its just so.. dunno, it feels useless to do this and keep grinding.

To maybe get more efficient help if someone finds the time here is my little programm I am doing:

I warm up 10x50% weight, 6x 70% and 3x 80% of my working weight I plan to do that day, so 3 warm up sets:

Push A:

1. Incline DB Bench Press 2x6-9, 1x9-12
2. Seated Shoulder Press 2x6-9, 1x9-12
3. Dumbbell Flys on Incline Bench 3x10-15
4. EZ Bar Skullcrushers 3x10-15

Pull A:

1. Lat Pulldowns Neutral Grip 2x6-9, 1x9-12
2. T Bar Rows Chest Supported 2x6-9, 1x9-12
3. Cable Face Pulls 3x10-15
4. EZ Bar Curls 3x8-12
5. Dumbbel Hammer Curls 2x10-15

Legs A:

1. Barbell Squats 3x9-12 (not secure to do lower reps for me, scared)
2. Leg Curls (unilateral) 3x10-15
3. Leg Extensions (bilateral) 3x10-15
4. Calf Raises Smithmachine 3x8-10 + 2x6-8
5. Decline Crunches 2x to failure
6. Cable Abbductors 2x10-15

Push B:

1. Incline DB Bench Press 3x9-12
2. Lateral Cable Raises 3x10-15 + AMRAP Set after set 3 (30 second rest, 50% weight)
3. Chest Press Machine 2x6-9
4. Overhead Cable Extensions 3x10-15

Pull B:

1. T Bar Rows Neutral Grip 3x9-12
2. Wide Grip Lat Pulldowns 3x9-12
3. Cable Face Pulls 3x10-15
4. Cable Hammer Curls 2x6-9, 1x10-15
5. Seated DB Curls 2x10-15

Legs B is actually the same as A just swapping unilateral and bilater with curls and extensions, and replacing Squats with RDLs.

As much as I like AI but the last years are kind of a lot, sometimes just too much for me.

I can't even watch youtube without getting a video translated into my language which is quite annoying.

The first search on google has an AI telling me the stuff I need to know, don't even have to look at real human threads at this point.

Not even going to deep on the AI generated videos, news etc. because that is insane already and we aren't even peaking.

I am 40 years old. Imagine studying a few years on a 200.000 €/$ or whatever currency degree just to find out that the job won't even exist by 2028.

Imagine finding out that you won't be able to pay off your debt cause most fastfood restaurants will use AI/ Bots that can serve, prepare, clean etc. 24/7 while a useless human needs breaks, wants money and needs days off and can only work 8 hour shifts.

I know this sounds crazy but I really think by 2030 we will have 80% jobs replaced by AI and the new jobs that might evolve out of jobs that have vanished will only be doable for AGI/ Super Intelligence.

Think about it.... while in the 1800s machines have replaced or made jobs easier, they still required humans manpower to produce them, to maintaine them and to even use them.

Now we are basically replacing what made humans - human - our brains. As we know the human brain has never ever been replaced by something and that is the organ that put us where we are in the food chain. And we are creating something that is BETTER, FASTER, MORE EFFICIENT than our a brain.

It could all be cool and nice and fun and games if we wouldn't be replacing humans in a very short time frame til 2030. It could all be cool,... if not every country would be competing in this race to super intelligence.

Looking at this neutral and seeing what is happing, imo I might be doomed in 5 years.

I really think I will be fck.d up in 5 years. A job is annoying, but it's also a humans purpose. A way to express itself and be useful to society. If this is being taken away we will find 95% of humanity in a huge depression and suicide rates are going to rise by 2030.

Edit: We can't even imagine and visualise what super intelligence will do and can do. Before we even understand what this AI just created and offered us the next best thing is already produced.

We are basically getting smarter with every new upgrade AI will give us, but get dumber in the process cause we can't even PROCESS the new stuff.

Bland example: currently phones are getting upgrades 1-2 years and we can read whats new and see the new things. Imagine those phones being produced every week with new and better and more useful upgrades. We'd buy the phone, understand the phone and after a week the next phone with 5 new features is on the markert and we are outdated.

We can't process the new upgrades etc. in such a short time frame. We aren't capable of that. This leads us to getting dumber with every new upgrade.

Imagine AI creating a Boeing and after a year we understand how to use it. But during that year it already released a Boeing that can fly at the speed of flight. It can't be used cause humans cant use it and would die at those speeds. But AI could.

AI will be producing so much trash knowledge lol.

Like, not the big dramatic stuff — I mean the tiny things you barely think about.

I was just reflecting on how many times something small ended up leading to something huge. For example:

When I decided to grab coffee at a different café and randomly mer someone who later became a close friend.

Saying “yes” to a last-minute invite and discovering a hobby that became a huge part of your life. In my example it was bouldering.

Now if I spin this further, if I hadn't gotten into rock climbing I probably wouldn't have injured my shoulder a year ago.

Now look at the other examples on this planet. A person who called in sick on 9/11 or missed that flight.

It's insane. If I wouldn't be writing this post maybe I would have gotten hit by a car?

So, my grandma passed away recently, and her estate is being divided between my mom and her brother (my uncle). My mom has declined her share, so now my brother and I will each receive 25% of the value of the house, and my uncle will get 50%.

Here’s where things start to get complicated. My uncle had originally agreed to give me $30,000 in cash after the house was sold. This was because my brother wanted a separate property (not the house) that’s worth around $30,000. So, in the original plan, I would receive $30,000 in cash when the house sold, and my brother would get that other property instead of taking part of the house’s value.

But now my brother has changed his mind. He wants to buy the house outright. He says I’ll still only get $30,000, even though the house is worth about $180,000. He claims this is fair because I “agreed” to that amount with our uncle, and I shouldn’t be asking for more. Here’s where things get a bit tricky: if he gives me $30,000 and then gives my uncle $100,000 (to make up the 50% of the house’s value), he’ll essentially be able to resell the house for the full $180,000 and pocket the rest of the money as profit. So he gets the house, gives me the $30k I asked for, and ends up with a good deal.

I’ve tried to explain to him that my original plan was to make sure our uncle received a fair amount—meaning, I didn’t want to take more than what our uncle was getting. I wanted to make sure that the $30,000 I was asking for didn’t come out of the overall value of the house, but rather from the sale, so no one was being shortchanged. I didn’t want to end up selling the house with our uncle for more money and having a situation where I walk away with more than him. But my brother doesn’t seem to get that, and now he’s saying, “Why can’t I just do the same for him?” and calling me greedy for wanting more money.

To be honest, I’m really not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I feel like the way things are being handled isn’t really fair, but my brother keeps pushing back and saying I was fine with the original agreement. Is it unreasonable for me to want a larger share now that my brother wants to buy the house, or am I just overthinking it?

I basically only wanted the amount my brother was getting. He was getting a different property and I checked what that is worth (30k) and said okay, fine, if he only wants that property I don't want full "25%" of the house when its sold. My max limit was 30k once sold and if he sells for 300.000 I still only get 30.000 because my brother is only getting a property that is worth 30.000.

Well now I guess I fcked up. But is there a way to get out of this without coming off as greedy? I would have been happy with 30.000 if my oncle would have gotten "more" but now that my oncle will only get 100.000 and me only 30.000 I feel kind of ripped off. Well I am never being ripped off anyways since I am getting free 30.000. But still.. this is weird.

I hope you guys understand. My grandma has a Property A and a Property B + House. Property A = my brother (worth 30.000). Property B (+ House) = my oncle and me, but me limited to 30.000 once sold (not 25%) so I won't get 50.000 or more since my brother is "only" getting a property worth 30.000. I thought it would be unfair if I'd get way more by selling the house and also felt sorry for my uncle cause he messed up the paperwork. Normally my brother and I would get NOTHING.

My brothers wife also said that I am greedy for now wanting 25% of the house instead of 30.000. She even said that I should consider a family price and give it for free since it is "staying in the family". I said no I have bills to pay and paying off my own house. But I also said that the 30.000 were a completly different deal. I "made up" the 30.000 € for my uncle so he knows that I won't want more than my brother and we all get the same even though its not 25% of what I could LEGALY recieve. I could also tell my oncle screw it I want 25% of the house but I never wanted that much in the first place. But now this feels so bad cause my brother wants to buy it cheap (he owns 25%, has to pay me only 30.000 and my oncle the 50% of the house (90.000). And my 25% would be atleast 45.000.