this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
558 points (97.9% liked)

Greentext

7447 readers
167 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 70 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I was once motivated to work out by Amizon Subscribe and Save.

I had a subscription to protein shake powder, and I only let myself drink it after working out. If I skipped too many days, I’d still have some when the next shipment arrived, and I hate wasting food.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 28 points 2 years ago

Genius consumerism at its finest

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 70 points 2 years ago

Whatever works! I'm ok with this and it made me smile, in a good way. Thanks op.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 54 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 48 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wish I was a fuck autist. I'm just a regular autist

[–] neo@lemy.lol 15 points 2 years ago

A fuck savant - that could be a porn movie from the 70s

[–] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 40 points 2 years ago

TBH, that's a genuinely good technique.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Favorite smash character. Really builds the salt

[–] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Such a great character in smash. Awesome moves all around, and incredible bm potential. Those hopping push ups are great lmao

this whole post gave me an incredible bm.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

i like running back and forth taking big pot shots at my friends who all fight each other

that and throwing balls and suns. shes so much fun

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's so surprising that Wii fit un-autism'd OP.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 years ago

The Ower of friendship heals all

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

That gave me an idea.

  • VR fitness game for fat coomers
  • Basically copies other more successful titles like Beat Saber or Fruit Ninja
  • Trainer of preferred gender and art style (yes, you can weeb it up)
  • Score better than last time to unlock outfits
  • If you fall off, trainer walks away disappointed

It may be stupid, but I'm willing to bet it would work for many people.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Include like boob and dick jiggle physics and you may have winner on your hands.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Realtime full-body jiggle physics using cloth simulation on a low-poly proxy mesh with adjustable stiffness, combined with local proximity-based displacement on the high-poly model. I've done something similar in Blender and it's pretty damn simple.

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is it possible to learn this power? And where? And how? Shows us the way, Anon-enjoyer.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Here and in its discord server. Their ~~cum~~ viscous fluid simulation research efforts are especially admirable.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

score better than last time to unlock new sex positions for the sex minigame

These greentexts are a treasure trove of ideas. And nobody can convince me otherwise.

Maybe some call it unhinged, but some of it just has that kind of refreshing other-ness.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

“No longer a … autist”

Also thinks the 3D lady on the screen is their friend

[–] DSTGU@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No longer a fat fuck autist... Just autist now

[–] Emmie@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

Hey leave asd ppl alone

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 years ago
[–] Mango@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

That means the developers succeeded.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

Changing you diet is much more effective than working out. Being fat is a natural response to an unnatural food environment.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Counterpoint - when I started working out, I started feeling less hunger and ate less automatically. Shit's connected. Just start somewhere, don't think about what's the most efficient and just do it.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de -2 points 2 years ago

Well, the narrative is that fat people are lazy and simply need to exercise more to lose weight. But this is not scientifically true. I'm posting this video again because it summarizes the scientific study situation in just 6 minutes.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What a weird response to a personal success story. Are just here to get more views for the video you've posted 3 times?

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Nah, I just felt like a non-verified personal anecdote that tells you the opposite of scientific facts should be corrected. I found the video while looking for a quick, credible proof and edited it in my first comment because it is exactly what I was looking for.

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You still need to workout if you live a sedentary lifestyle. Research has shown that being sedentary has a worse effect to health compared to smoking. Also, don't forget about the mental health benefits to working out.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You maybe be right, but using a fucking YouTube video? Seriously, that's about as reliable as the "proof" flat earthers use...

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de -1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I agree again, it seems shady. But watch it, it's only 6 minutes long and packed with scientific research. :)

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I agree, there's two really significant variables to human health:

  • food and drink

  • movement and posture

The rest is less important.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 years ago

Ring Fit Adventure’s endlessly positive encouragement really helped my partner and myself during COVID.

…also the daddy from bara dragon as well

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

shes my main in smash bros. i once beat the best player in our group with her and have never let him live it down haha