this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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[–] ChillPenguin@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Just in case someone runs into this. "I do not consent to any searches"

[–] bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

spoilerasdfasfasfasfas

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Please don't search my butthole."

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 23 points 2 years ago

"No really. PLEASE do not, no matter what you do, do not search my butthole. Please."

[–] JCreazy@midwest.social 10 points 2 years ago

And then get probable caused

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago

What’s in the car?

Paperwork officer. Got dinner plans?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Anything in the car I should know about?

Yep, the mother fucking 4th Amendment is in here.

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I am sorry I am not familiar with it. I am going to have to look around your car so I can find it and read it.

[–] HotboxedSubmersible@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Now I know it would piss them off. I might just print it out. Just because.

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

If I have nothing to hide, the cop has nothing to see.

[–] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Why does the cop have a flashlight?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Because they normally can't just walk up immediately pointing their gun at you. Yet.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

"I'm sorry officer, I... didn't know I couldn't do that."

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Because it would be weird if he had a fleshlight instead

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago
[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

There's a funny story from the Holocaust (yeah... bear with me)

Nazis come into Corrie Ten Boom's household, and they're hiding Jews. Corrie's sister has... perhaps an over-developed sense of honesty. Nazis demand, "where are the Jews!" The sister replies truthfully, "under the table." Nazis don't want to fall for it and look stupid so they don't look under the table, and leave without finding them!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 2 years ago

"Talk to my lawyer."

Turns hand into a mouth

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Once had a cop ask me "got anything in your pockets you're not supposed to have?"

Little the cop knows that had you brother baseball cards in your pocket without your brothers permission

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

*Bright sunny day*

*Points flashlight*