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Say it louder for the people in the back (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to c/adhdwomen@lemmy.world

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[-] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago

While I get the point of this post, and don't mean to trivialize anyone's struggles with mental health. I think that this mentality is detrementail to the vast amount of people who suffer from undiagnosed ADHD.

If you feel like you might have ADHD and are considering getting help, don't let posts like this push you away from getting an actual diagnosis.

[-] MalachaiConstant@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure the post is addressing the people who do not have ADHD and who go around saying things like "that's just called being forgetful" when someone describes their symptoms. I see it often in response to people openly questioning if they might have ADHD.

I don't think it's addressing people who have ADHD but don't know it yet or are questioning.

I have been experiencing a lot more of the "ADHD is made up" mentality lately than I ever have before. Not sure why exactly, but I'm guessing OOP has been feeling it too.

[-] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

100℅ that is who and what the post addressing. And I agree with its intended message. Its also therapeutic to read a strong statement like this, that strongly asserts the damage that can be caused by this (and other stigmatized) mental disorders.

I just think that given it was posted in a niche ADHD community, its more likely to be seen by people who are questioning if they have it rather than by people who trivialize it. And given that, I feel that its likely to cause folks who have undiagnosed ADHD to wonder if they are just "lazy" or "forgetful" or any of the other self deprecating labels many of us have told ourselves before getting diagnosed. Which is why I felt it would be helpful to post a counter message to that mentality.

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Yes, this is exactly what this post is addressing. I don’t know how people can possible get something else from it.

[+] LanternEverywhere@kbin.social -9 points 1 month ago

You clearly misunderstood the post. What do you think this post is saying?

[-] protist@mander.xyz 21 points 1 month ago

"My ADHD is worse than yours, you no diagnosis-having wannabe!"

[-] MalachaiConstant@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Wow, that is absolutely different from how I read it, which is:

"Stop gatekeeping ADHD just because the symptoms don't always look like symptoms."

I've been experiencing a lot of problems lately where people don't want to take ADHD seriously. They brush it off as "oh everyone experiences that", and even sometimes take it all the way to "ADHD isn't real"

[-] protist@mander.xyz 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Not what I took away at all, they're basically saying "your minor problems may be traits of ADHD, but you don't meet the criteria for a full diagnosis." They're specifically criticizing people who say they're "a little ADHD," effectively being the gatekeeper rather than advocating against gatekeeping

[-] MalachaiConstant@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

See, I read "a little ADHD" and could immediately think of real examples of family members, coworkers, and even medical professionals saying the full thing:

"Everyone is a little ADHD, so don't worry about it so much."

Or:

"Everyone is a little ADHD, so I totally know what you're going through."

Or my personal favorite:

"Everyone is a little ADHD, so stop complaining."

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 1 month ago

"That happened to me once."

"That is how life is for me 24/7."

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world -3 points 1 month ago

The fact that you read that in this post says more about you than about the post.

[-] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I think the post is saying what it said. People tend to trivialize mental disorders, especially ones like ADHD, and doing so does a disservice to those who genuinely suffer from it and in the worst case scenario can further reinforce the stigma surrounding it. I dont even really disagree with the message the post is trying to make.

But I do think that many who suffer from undiagnosed mental illnesses often develop feelings of imposter syndrome, especially when comparing their symptoms to someone with a more severe/obvious case. And I believe this is a large part of why folks dont seek help.

This post wasn't made in a vacuum. It was posted to a niche ADHD community, and while I am sure that many people who are here are tired of ADHD being trivialized by society (especially by way of people who dont have it using it as a "cute" way to excuse related behaviors), I believe that many who find themselves here are in the early stages of acknowledging their battle with ADHD. And I think that a post like this could hinder their path to help. I mean, we are here to be supportive of each other right?

[-] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago

Every person I've known in real life who has said "everyone has a little ADHD" had A LOT of ADHD but never realised they could get help.

[-] rottingleaf@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

I've been that person in my childhood. Same about autism. Same about a few other things I talked about like this.

[-] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

If considering yourself ADHD without the diagnosis and adjusting your way of living accordingly makes your life easier then what's the problem? Techniques used for controlling any kind of mental divergence kinda work for everyone regardless of their exact circumstances

[-] essell@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

If All human characteristics exist on a spectrum then it makes sense that those techniques which some people need all of the time would be of value to some of the people some of the time.

No harm in that at all. My recognising my bad days doesn't stop me from recognising someone hard life.

[-] snooggums@midwest.social -5 points 1 month ago

Because it trivializes a disorder in the same way that preferring to organizing things being called OCD trivializes the impact that OCD has on people.

Yes, the techniques help more than just the people with the disorder but that doesn't mean everyone has a 'little bit of the disorder'. Washing hands after using the restroom doesn't mean someone 'has a little OCD' either.

[-] Toto@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

ADHD gatekeeping? Sure.

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 9 points 1 month ago

How is clarifying the difference between normal things that people do and a disorder where it happens far more frequently and impacts their lives gatekeeping?

[-] Toto@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Go have ADHD and be happy. Why would someone need to judge others about their lives to qualify their own? ADHD isn’t a relative term.

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago

Guess disorder is a meaningless term then.

[-] ickplant@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

How is this post judging anyone else? It’s about other people who don’t understand ADHD judging us and basically saying that we don’t have this disorder we have.

[-] criitz@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago

Well, you're keeping the gate in a direct sense. Not all gatekeeping is undesirable to all people.

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

The usage of gatekeeping in this context is always negative.

[-] criitz@reddthat.com 0 points 1 month ago

Maybe gatekeeping isn't a positive thing to spend your energy on.

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe you don't know what the word gatekeeping means.

[-] bigboig@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago

Go figure it's the adhd women posts that get bs flak 🙄

[-] Toto@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

The picture in the tweet is a guy.

[-] Mastengwe@lemm.ee 0 points 1 month ago

Who downvotes this?????

this post was submitted on 11 May 2024

228 points (85.4% liked)

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