Ask Lemmy

As a purveyor of the wonderful art of sarcasm, a decent amount. Otherwise, very infrequently.

Mostly when playing games that involve lying. I won't lie to my wife and I avoid lying to my children, friends, and coworkers. I sometimes lie to patrons of the restaurant where I work, to provide a simple-but-false answer instead of a complex-but-true one, but never about ingredients or allergies. A good example is if they ask me how I like the shrimp I'll say I'm allergic but they're very popular. I think shrimp are disgusting and don't eat them, but it's true that they are very popular.

Probably a few times a day, depending on what I'm doing.

I work in a small office, and answer the phones. Most of the time the call needs to be transferred on. Standard operating procedure if someone can't take the call is to say they're "unavailable, can I get them to call you back?" and, if pressed, "on another call at the moment". This is usually untrue - we don't get many calls, so 99% of the time it'll either mean they're in the bathroom, having lunch or just don't want to talk to an overly needy client who keeps calling at the moment.

I'll often also lie about my position if a client questions why I can't handle their call. It's easier to say I'm just the receptionist or something isn't my department, than explain why this either needs to be handled by someone else or would be far cleaner that way.

Oh, and I lie about why I'm putting people on hold all the time. I'm often not bringing up your file or whatever - I did that while we were talking.

Like, verbally or in bed?

Maybe once or twice a week.

This comment is a lie.

I lie a ton, but it's dependent on the audience. There are a lot of people (largely work related) I don't feel like sharing details of my life with so I omit them or simplify them to the point of inaccuracy.

With people I actually know and like I lie very little if at all. It's mostly for convenience and ease.

Basically never.

I was convinced that not lying is the way to go about 4 or 5 years ago and I've pretty much stuck with that ever since. I can only remember telling one lie during that time and even that was more of a reflex and totally unecessary (told to a beggar that I didn't have cash even though I did) This doesn't obviously mean that I always tell everything that's on my mind or that I don't omit information. I try an be diplomatic about it but the rule I try to follow is that I don't say things I know not to be true.

I never lie. Not ever.

Kolanaki's nose begins to stretch

Of course it is. It's a need to belong, to fit in, to feel a part of the group. It's written into your genes.

Oh man, I never thought there was another person who would never lie about anything, ever, about anything. Especially on the Internet.