Close. Check their rectums. I'm sure you'll find a bush or two.

what happened was a logical and known potential outcome and consequence of signing up

It certainly is, but when the burden of responsibility is only placed on the person at the end of the line, it lets the fuckers at the top with the unequal power skirt their responsibility. Perhaps "blame" is too far, but it doss seem like you've perhaps disproportionately assigned blame to thus one shouting guy and his kid.

You make it sound as if the choice is binary between starving and joining the military: it’s not.

Not at all, but I do acknowledge that for many, and in increasing amounts, the decision has indeed become very close to that binary. US hegemony relies on people to do the enforcement. That's obviously dangerous, and thankfully, despite pervasive cultural conditioning, most people aren't interested in killing others overseas while living in an overcrowded dorm eating slop. So the conditions have been put in place by the ruling class to force people into doing it.

If you're unlucky enough to be born in Podunk Nowhere, where disaster capitalism has resulted in the only employers being Walmart, mcdonalds or the shady abattoir that "hires" minors, you don't start with many options. Add in an "education" from a system that has been rotted from within by zealots, complete with in-school army recruiter. Add in a culture that loves guns. Add in a family member in debt from medical accident (probably at the abattoir), or an unplanned pregnancy because of no access to abortion. Maybe they're also living at home with a parent who is addicted to meth out of desperation to avoid their poverty and misery... and the military starts looking like a very tempting option.

You have the chance of dying and disability in the military, and the likelihood that you're forced to murder, but also the glimmer of hope of an education, family healthcare and a way out of Podunk's cycle of poverty. That's a powerful motivator for someone who doesn't see any other realistic options. It's a deliberate funnel into committing murder through economic coercion and military worship culture, and the fault lies with the trap makers, not the trapped.

The only thing that makes the last 80 years different is the efficiency of murder and the new murder weapons they have access to.

And the extent of its reach. A century ago, the US was pretty limited to war on North American soil, and land it claims. When the war is that close, the realities of suffering are hard to conceal from the people whom you need to inflict it. Wars in other continents though can be sanitized by the media, and the people who are caught in the military funnel trap find out after they've signed the contract.

Thankfully the prevalence of video tech has allowed us to mitigate some of that media sanitization, but again, putting the burden of responsibility on the 18 year old who has never been taught critical thinking skills allows the 65+ year old networked decision makers at the top to slide off the hook.

Tl;dr I think it's OK to acknowledge everything on all fronts is fucked for everyone except the ruling class. I also think it's OK to shout at the ruling class, even in their house, when you were invited to be there.