Not to say it's not a privacy concern. It absolutely is.

But surely it's going to be about 3 seconds before kids start coming up with creative new slang for whatever terms they know the system is listening for. Cockney slang 2.0 for the digital age, if you will.

I hope they can even coordinate well enough to get most of their friends spamming it constantly by reciting all the keywords every time they go to take a piss. Hell. It'd be badass to leave an mp3 players just looping all the keywords taped to it. Like an audio throwie.

Every kid needs to read Little Brother by Cory Doctorow.

The more I hear about post Brexit UK stomping down on protesters, introducing more surveillance and now this bathroom snooper. It seems like we are inching towards what Georg Orwell imagined.

They'll really do everything except actually address bullying

My school had a really good system. Instead of the toilets being in a closed room, they instead had an open floor plan with the sinks being clearly visible from the hallway. Obviously it was all cubicals, no urinals but it worked really well to stop this sort of thing. Seems like a much safer way to curb all those things listed than fucking spying on children.

Someone out there has the weirdest fetish.

It's going to listen in on accident when someone is shitting their brains out cursing Taco Bell and staff will have to monitor said session to confirm it was only someone destroying the toilet.

At last, my plan has been put into motion. Now I will have the recording of a thousand cherubs peeing, which I will sum together into a tone so unique that it will take the audio world by storm.

You may have heard of white noise and pink noise. Now, get ready for yellow noise.