this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2024
525 points (96.5% liked)

Funny

11089 readers
572 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 61 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I don’t have friends and still got Covid…

I definitely did something wrong (it was “being employed”)

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Ah the ol' funeral BOGO offer.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

(it was “being employed”)

Did you at least feel useful for the company as much as they like it to seem?

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

No. It was a job that could have stayed fully remote but was instead hybrid. And it was a big waste of time job. I could have had another job at the same time.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

Ah, a true shame, I hope you are in a better scenario nowadays.

[–] sramder@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

Can confirm.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

Social isolation for 10 years and no covid even when family in the house got it. This strategy works. Your friends are killing you and no vaccination can save you from them. The fuck did I put my tinfoil... \s (disabled)

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I have a friend. I married her and the two of us never leave the house so in this doctor's face!

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I literally just asked my covid-don't-ever-leave-the-house friend to marry me last week

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Congratulations! (Assuming they said yes 😬)

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

Id be a bit less tempted to put it on the internet had they not. Thank you!

[–] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 years ago

🎉🎉🎉

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ditto. My wife is one of two humans I like, and the other lives in a different state.

[–] XTornado@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We do have too many pets

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Or they just have a friend group full of responsible individuals

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Responsible? Or crazy lucky and/or less likely to get tested?

[–] Misconduct@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Orrr just responsible people that quarantine before hanging out, get vaccinated, wear masks, and social distance. Option number 2 is online friends. I've got a few that got nailed by covid but we d&d/game primarily online so I was still safe lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have vulnerable people in my life so nobody sees me in person unless they're damn sure they're clean and so far none of them have let me down

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

I'm still going to call that lucky if you live in an urban area. Even the good quality masks won't protect a wearer completely.

[–] TxzK@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bullshit. I have no friends yet I had COVID

[–] Psychodelic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Damn you got hit with the double whammy

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What if my "friends" didn't contract it either? Are we not friends then?

[–] swayevenly@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Real friends give you covid.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Is that why the Republicans were so against masking, because they're really loyal to their friends?

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago

bro real friend give you the clap

[–] fidodo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Then your friends don't have any friends

[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Making excuses after losing the game

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 8 points 2 years ago

well that's awful rude of him

I'll bet he smells funny, the fucker

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 7 points 2 years ago

Yeah, he may have a point with that one.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Does a girlfriend count as a friend? I've never had COVID so I guess it does.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You mean it does not. If you had friends then you had covid.

[–] fushuan@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I believe they are making a joke, implying they don't have a girlfriend.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Oh, I see that now

[–] blargerer@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

My sample size of one gives his claim merit.