this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2026
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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 19 minutes ago

its about megyn kelly how she justifed her SA/SH WAS different.

[–] Cheese_man@lemmy.world 41 points 4 hours ago

The sheer amount of violence that women and children are expected to absorb as normal in order to maintain the illusion of a civilized society is honestly staggering to look at.

[–] cloudshouter@lemmy.zip 67 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

The law favors rapists. I realized a long time ago, just by women that I have known, that the statistics on rape are accurate and also low. I also realized that most men don’t understand that because they are not men who a woman would open up to about that. As for men who are worried about catching false charges, I would say that statistically you are more likely to get raped by another man than catch a fake charge. And because everything favors the rapist, he will probably get away with it.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 30 seconds ago

You seem to forget that small little detail of "innocent until proven guilty" which is thisbtiny corner stone of our society and probably the reason why you too are a free person

THAT detail is ehy rape is so hard to convict people on because ypy need yo prove that a sexual interaction was not consensual and thus rape

In few cases that is obvious and easy to prove, in most its impossible to prove, and thus the perpetrator goes free.

Now I get it, it sucks that the bad guy gets away with it, but the other option is that we start jailing innocent people. The entire idea of the justice system is not to put the guilty in jail but to keep the innocent out of jail. I am not about to give up on that.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 1 points 2 minutes ago

As for men who are worried about catching false charges

I absolutely fucking hate that argument, because men use it to prevent changes that would make prosecution of actual rapists easier. I understand the fear, but how often does it happen, that false charges get pressed onto man and how often does it happen that rapists do not get prosecuted for their crime? We all know someone who has been targeted by rape/sexual assault, but hardly anyone knows a rapist and even less a person that has been falsely accused of it.

[–] VGpunx@lemmy.world 15 points 2 hours ago

When I was about 5 my then 3 year old sister was sexually abused by our adoptive mother's husband at the time. I don't really have a good memory, but I understand that I was drugged and maybe also messed with too. They took my sis to the hospital and confirmed the abuse took place.

The dude got a slap on the wrist, honestly. A few years jail (I think?) and a divorce - leaving behind a single mother on a teacher's salary with 2 kids that he doesn't even owe child support for. They both made the decision to adopt and he just got right out of any responsibility for that.

For us as kids, it meant lots of talking to professionals who barely got anything out of us. I mean, we were afraid. All we had was each other in the whole world and it seemed like we couldn't even trust our own parents, so what do we do? Instead we grew up with little faith in family and no faith in a "God" who turned their back or a country who didn't give a damn.

You did nothing wrong. You're not alone. You don't have to suffer in silence. Tell your story. You never know who might really need to hear it.

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 52 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

As a man, I can confirm this. It took me being raped (and a few years of bottling it up to even consciously come to the realisation that I was indeed raped) to do away with nearly two decades of indirect conditioning by "lad culture" and mass media et al to see why it goes unreported most of the time.

(mind you I was raped by a woman, AND the same woman falsely accused me of rape, harassment, and a number of other awful things)

[–] EmpatheticTeddyBear@lemmy.world 31 points 4 hours ago

You are not alone in this brother. I was laughed out of my local police department when I attempted to file a report. I went back later when a woman officer was present and she took me seriously. Of course the court system was another story.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for sharing your story, I'm heartsick that you had to endure it. I can't imagine the extra amount of scrutiny in this case for you.

[–] Feidry@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

There are so many of us, Velma. I feel like the number of unreported rapes of men is far higher than that of women. You, as a woman, have a much higher chance of being believed than I do as a man. Which is a fucked up statistic to quote. "Being believed". But it remains true.

Edit: meaning theres probably way more rapes of women but proportionally, the report rate is probably way lower for men. Because we feel like no one will believe us.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 29 points 4 hours ago

Part of dismantling our rape culture is elevating men’s voices and stories as well. I want my son to know he’ll be supported and believed if anything happens to him. I want victims to have the support they need regardless of gender, age, and status.

It’s so fucked up the amount of prison rape jokes aimed at men, jokes about young boys getting lucky to have a woman teacher rape them, all of it. It harms boys and men as well as girls and women and everyone in between when we treat victims as if they asked to be raped or didn’t do enough to prevent it.

I’m in your corner. You have my unwavering support 💕

[–] EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app 86 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Everyone has known a woman like this 🥺 can't criticize what she's been through but she's out there perpetuating harm and you can't make her see that

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 82 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

It took my mom decades to see the truth about what happened to her as a little girl. She didn't tell my grandmother until a couple years ago. Heartbreaking.

It's one of the many reasons that blaming victims should be called out each and every time. It's imperative to be honest about these crimes and to believe victims when they come forward.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 39 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

It's imperative to be honest about these crimes and to believe victims when they come forward.

That is also not without its problems.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_rape_hoax?wprov=sfla1

The Duke case resulted from a journalist who thought doing an investigation would be the same as disbelieving a victim, and editors who agreed. Now rape-apologists have a bloody shirt to wave around.

I'm for provisionally believing people, but also not rushing to judgement in each and every case. We can do both.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 37 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

The rate of false claims is much, much lower than actual rape and sexual assault. It’s not non-existent, but we shouldn’t immediately assume a rape victim is lying.

More often than not, the default is to dismiss and downplay claims.

For the one case at Duke, I can pull dozens (probably hundreds) of real rape cases at universities.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 25 points 6 hours ago

The official FBI stats indicate that less than 5% of claims investigated turn out to be false. That's counting hoaxes, false alarms, and malicious reporting. I want to say they investigate around 388,000 reports annually on average so the combined number of events that don't turn out to be true is less than 20k and the number of purposely false claims is going to be a lot less than that.

[–] EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app 24 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I never really understood believe victims to mean punish the accused with no evidence beyond testimony, more that we don't need to loudly declare that victims are probably actually liars and offer support to people who clearly need it

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

Compassionately suspending judgment is not something we do well as a society. Battle lines are quickly drawn, sides chosen, and war begins before the jury is even seated.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 hours ago

We may not do it well right now, but we can change it.

[–] EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Right, which is what makes misogyny such a bitch to bear

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, I get why it happens. Declaring a unilateral truce isn't a winning strategy, either. That's why I said society as a whole has a problem; if one side instigates, the other has to respond. I don't really have a solution.

[–] EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not really sure what you mean. There aren't sides

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Sure there are. There's a side that actively shouts down women who report, and there's naturally a side that wants those people to, you know, not do that.

[–] EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app 5 points 3 hours ago

Oh, right, you mean in the societal pettiness realm.

I guess none of us have really good solutions to human nature in general, but the best thing that I can think of to do is continue advocating for believing victims in the sense that I explained it earlier.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 45 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Now she's getting death threats because she dared speak up

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 34 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I was horrified to see that she was swatted the other day. They literally tried to kill her by police.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 1 points 3 minutes ago* (last edited 3 minutes ago)

It's fucked up that a common way of trying to get someone killed is to send law enforcement to their house. How badly has our society messed up to make that our reality?

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 71 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 38 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Thank you for the added context :)

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 60 points 6 hours ago (3 children)
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 23 points 6 hours ago

There it is, thank you JoMiran!

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[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 15 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I hadn't heard of it myself, so I thought it prudent after reading the Wikipedia.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 hours ago

Definitely the right move! My entire news feed is full of this particular case, but that’s not true for everyone. I appreciate it!

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 hours ago

The artist censored it.

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