Look, when I signed up to work for an agency that deports people to countries they've never been to, I was fine with it cause I was gonna get a lot of money. Now that I'm not getting that money, I obviously have to vote even harder for the assholes fucking me over because the brown people are the reason I didn't get paid, not the president who routinely doesn't pay people. This post was sponsored by the Heritage Foundation or some shit.
Leopards Ate My Face
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ICE has been quietly firing some of the roughly 12,000 officers it hired during its 2025 rapid expansion, citing background red flags that former DHS officials say should have been caught before hiring and because of poor performance.
A whistleblower told the DHS Office of Inspector General in August 2025 that final job offers were being issued before fingerprint, identity, and credit checks were completed, and that some recruits began training or duty while investigations were still open
I shudder at the thought of what "poor performance" means at ICE. Not enough arrests? Not enough tasered people?
Probably more like tasering people while being filmed. As long as it's off camera it never happened.
And as funny as it sounds, it's probably true. They have been told to be brutal, just don't end up on the evening news beside a dead body.
Please tell us you have a source for this, that is awesome
The source has already been posted, but I remember a journalist reporting that she applied to ice and they hired her immediately without doing any background research and after she had responded saying she had recanted her application
Not surprising given what we've seen reported: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2026/01/ice-recruitment-minneapolis-shooting.html
spoiler/quote
Somehow, despite never submitting any of the paperwork they sent me—not the background check or identification info, not the domestic violence affidavit, none of it—ICE had apparently offered me a job.
According to the application portal, my pre-employment activities remained pending. And yet, it also showed that I had accepted a final job offer and that my onboarding status was “EOD”—Entered On Duty, the start of an enlistment period. I moused over the exclamation mark next to “Onboarding” and a helpful pop-up appeared. “Your EOD has occurred. Welcome to ICE!”
I clicked through to my application tracking page. They’d sent my final offer on Sept. 30, it said, and I had allegedly accepted. “Welcome to Ice. … Your duty location is New York, New York. Your EOD was on Tuesday, September 30th, 2025.”
By all appearances, I was a deportation officer. Without a single signature on agency paperwork, ICE had officially hired me.
Perhaps, if I’d accepted, they would have demanded my pre-employment paperwork, done a basic screening, realized their mistake, and fired me immediately. And yet, the pending and upcoming tasks list suggested a very different outcome. My physical fitness test had been initiated on Oct. 6, it said: three days in the future. My medical check had apparently been completed on Oct. 6.
This is objectively funny.
Fuck every single one of them. I hope they are financially crippled from this and learn something important about trusting authoritarians.
It's even funnier. The bonus was taxable, they paid not a little bit of it to tax right away. They don't get that refunded but they do still have to repay the 50K in full.
In other words, trying to be a racist pieces of shit professionally was very expensive. As it should be.
Guess who those taxes are going to. This keeps getting funnier the more I think about it.
Iirc many of the signing bonuses required a contract of 5 years.
Which is conveniently 1 year longer than the president's term...
Stupids getting suckered and left holding the bag, not my problem.
But also making a violent, lawless, militarized force loyal to one person, not the office.
This is exactly to motivate those thugs so they do everything that trump stays in power after 2029.
Not only they might need to pay 50,000 that they probably already spent, but might be also told that they will go to jail for doing what they were told to keep that 50k.
I wouldn't be surprised that those fired ICE were fired, because they had issues with what they were told to do.
This is Awesome! Best thing I've seen all week.
This move is right out of the Trump business playbook. He's been not paying workers and committing fraud against contractors his entire adult life. Avoiding the payout was the plan from day 1 when the bonus was offered--I'm betting Trump himself recommended this outcome. Fuck ICE. I hope every agent experiences bankruptcy and hardship. They ruined their lives to serve a child-rapist.
Well the current admin did promise to cut down on costs and actually letting them keep their bonuses would be a huge cost.
I think I speak for all of us when I say,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA
HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA
Anyone who knows anything connected to Trump it’s that he always looks to screw everyone over, especially those most loyal to him. He loved to prove people are suckers, like he gets off on this.
I hope this just increases the number of people that realize it, I don’t hope too hard, but I have hope…
Yep. His number one play is to promise things, usually payment, then never follow through. He should be an idiot who only got away with that once or twice. But apparently people are way too stupid to support that world. They'll fall for it endlessly.
If only there was some way to predict …
Not only do these idiots get what they deserve, but it's also hilarious that Trump is scamming and turning his most hardcore supporters against him
They'll still be voting for whatever republican is on the ballot
Because they're stupid
I doubt they're against him. Somehow its Bidens fault or Obamas fault or Canadas fault
Remember, my friends, this is still part of the scam. Now they will file lawsuits, paid for by you and I, the taxpayers, and they'll get partial bonuses paid out in the end.
awww. poor babies just wanted to shoot brown people, and now they're getting fired?!
Tf you gotta do to get fired from ICE? Show compassion?
"Oh no, would you look at that, you wore white socks after Labor Day. And just two days before you qualified for benefits, darn it"
I take two things from this:
- The guys they are attracting are so incompetent that they can't make it through their probation period.
- They either are generally incompetent, or not savage enough. One of these is funny, and one of these is deeply concerning.
Secret third thing: they never intended to keep them in the first place, and it was a scam the whole time. I doubt 1 or 2 are even plausible.
It's not a secret third thing.
As soon as we heard that the signing bonus was related to a probationary period, everyone who knows anything about how Trump does business said, "Nobody is getting that bonus."
It's extra shitty if they paid it out up front and now the employees have to pay it back, but none of this comes as a surprise.
I thought they didn't get the money until they reached a milestone, like 3 years later.
Aren’t signing bonuses explicitly an early in the job sort of thing?
Yea that's normally how it works, but the news was reporting the fine print of some who signed on not getting their bonuses until they've met a 3 year minimum or having to pay it back. Like with anything Trump, the money was never real.
Meh. Fuck 'em.

Oh no, person who is notorious for not paying people finds excuses to not pay his Nazi secret police
What if you happened to have spent it all on new and exciting looksmaxing medical procedures?
Asking for a friend.
Back in my day we called lookmaxing gender affirming care.
I would LOVE to see a study done on these people. What their criminal history is, how many have received complains against them of stalking and domestic abuse, history of killing/torturing small animals...
Maybe next time one of these losers decide to off themselves they'll take their bosses down with them.
