this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2026
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Raccoons

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 3 days ago

We were camping with some friends once, and it was raining, so we were all in our trailer, playing cards. We heard a noise outside, and looked at their campsite to see that raccoons had broken into their food box. The coons were all standing in a line, and the one in the front would grab something and head for the woods.

We were yelling at them, but they ignored us, and kept looting the box. I was particularly unhappy when one stole an entire double layer chocolate cake, my favorite, and dragged it into the woods.

The coons had an epic feast that night. It's probably part of coon lore, and they probably still talk about it, and pass the story down to young coons.

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

An easier question woukd be "what wont they eat?"

[–] Stache_@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

A collapsing neutron star.

Oh and maybe that Surströmming smelly fish stuff

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 4 days ago

They'd eat those, too.

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 6 points 4 days ago

maybe that Surströmming smelly fish stuff

I don't know about that; given some of the things raccoons eat they might take it gladly and ask for seconds. 🤔️

[–] pseudo@jlai.lu 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I googled it and now I want to eat it.

[–] probable_possum@leminal.space 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

What does a neutron star taste like?

[–] pseudo@jlai.lu 2 points 3 days ago

Haven't tasted yet.

[–] Loid@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Which came first, the trash panda or the trash can? 🤔

[–] I_Am_with_you@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The trash can came first. But the raccoon immediately recognized its true purpose. 😂

[–] Stache_@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago

Why else would they evolve masks? Those sneaky lil buggers

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

What do raccoons eat, or what should raccoons eat?

[–] TaeKwonDoh@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

All the above, plus crayfish

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 3 days ago

And Twinkies.

[–] darthsundhaft@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago

Erm, actually. They eat trash.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Also marshmallows, particularly if you leave a bag outside to go grab your graham crackers from the truck

[–] anon6789@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fruits are treats, they should be having much more veggies, and you need more protein/meat.

[–] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] anon6789@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Yes. (Assuming you're also an omnivore.)

Also the raccoons.

[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Trash pandas.

[–] hankmurphy@lemmus.org 3 points 4 days ago

One single uncooked Impossible breakfast sausage.

[–] indepndnt@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Cat food, after somehow opening the chip-reading cat door from the outside.