this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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Edit: My own solution: when it happens, get off the computer and pet the dog.


So let's say I make a point on a post. I put forward my argument and I support it with evidence.

Now let's say the first comment is from someone who disagrees with me, but seems to fundamentally misunderstand what I am saying, probably because they read the title of the post and immediately posted the first thing that came to mind.

But my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy's totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that's what I said.

And since, as we all know, fear leads to hate, my first instinct is just to berate this person for being a stupid moron.

This is a bad strategy. Not only is probably against Lemmy rules, it automatically makes me the bad guy.

So: question: how do I handle this person without tediously restating my position again, which is extremely irritating because I already wrote it once and they didn't read it the first time. What I want is to say something that quickly quarantines the misreading comment in people's minds so the misreading doesn't infect the entire thread.

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[–] BottleBoardBakon@lemmy.ml 62 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Move on with your life who gives a fuck

[–] shweddy@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

obtuse means round not pointy silly

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

well thats an interesting angle to take

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[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

BUT SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET!!!

:)

[–] cheat700000007@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Not giving a fuck is an acquired skill for some

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Make one clarifying point comment and then move on.

An example of how to do it:

You: EVs are better for the environment

Comment: Why are you saying that China should rule the world?

You: I'm saying that EV's are better for the environment no matter who makes them. Last comment.

An example on how not to do it:

You: EVs are better for the environment

Comment: Why are you saying that China should rule the world?

You: I never said that you asshole. Why are you sticking up for China, you fucking tankie. You're a troll piece of shit, etc., etc.,

Comment: You said China is amazing, you obviously want to go down on them

You: Why are you saying this shit? Etc., etc., etc. blah, blah, blah

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can see the scars, friend. Thank you for your service.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol, I should have prefaced with Reddit survivor.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly, I have PTSD from that site. Things are better here, but sometimes my flashbacks get triggered.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It took awhile to get rid of that for me too. I can spot the trolls pretty easily here though, there are about 10 accounts maybe? I sometimes fall for the trap, but it's getting rarer and rarer. I have found their patterns, but sometimes it takes me a few comments to see that it's bad faith.

I think Lemmy/Piefed is so much less addicting, that it doesn't really matter as much. I guess because the anger is the part that's addicting and I never realized I was in it until I got away. It's really strange though, I just quit cold turkey. Which is great, but strange. I'm so glad I did.

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Step 1. Remember the points don't matter

Step 2. Remember it doesn't matter if these people agree with you.

Step 3: Why should we even care if they mistook what we were saying

Step 4. If they agree feel ever so warm inside and justified in thinking what you thought... (Ignore all previous steps)

Down vote and don’t engage

[–] supernicepojo@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Lemmy is becoming self aware

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 8 points 1 week ago

My rule to live by: never engage with comments online. I'll post a comment, but >99% of the time there is no reason to reply. I've said what I wanted. There's hardly anything to gain from trying to change anyone else's mind or elaborating further. Someone has to make it abundantly clear that they are responding in good faith to warrant a response. My life has been much better since I started doing this and I would strongly recommend everyone try it out.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sometimes I give myself downvotes. Points don’t matter. Block people you find frustrating. Enjoy the people you like. Do whatever, just don’t break the rules.

I’m downvoting this.

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We clearly disagree on the point of your comment so I'm upvoting. Take that! You'll think twice before you vote the wrong way next time.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

You don't scare me! I'm upvoting your response here too.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

And so began yet another opportunity for people to declare they're smarter or more neurodivergent (i.e. better) than everybody else.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don't understand how neurodivergence has become a competition.

People just seem to self-diagnose to excuse their crappiness and like the worse you convince yourself you are adhd/autistic the more crappy you can behave.

I also baffles me like, just because you like trains or whatever man, doesn't mean you are neurodiverse... maybe you are just a nerd who likes trains.

and people in the comment here immediately defending their 'autism' as an excuse for why everyone else is terrible and they are super genisues... oi. Using your typical strawman and hyberbolic argumentation... but they are so 'logical'.

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[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

The rules are made up and the points don’t matter. At the end of the day, trying to argue with someone on the internet who does not have good faith in trying to hear your side of things is ultimately a pointless endeavour. Ignore them and move on.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Realize that what they say about whatever % of people being functionally illiterate is true.

my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy's totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that's what I said.

If you really feel the need to, just say "that's not what I meant, please re-read it. I think it was clear enough that I'm not going to repeat it". But I doubt the fear that others will agree with him is too real.

[–] AlphaOmega@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Block them, don't feed the trolls.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

In PF one can also add a note to their acct.

This is useful when a person seems pretty reasonable overall, but has some hangup upon particular issues. Actually it's incredibly common IMO, starting with myself. 😅

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 week ago

I just say whooosh

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If they wanna cram words never said or implied down others' throats or define things in a way only they could ever possibly understand, I simply block them. There's not going to be any effective communication when it comes to the illiterate and willfully ignorant.

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Autists deal with this daily, on lemmy and everywhere life.

Phase 1: explain

Phase 2: just let it go

And estimate in advance if you have the energy and motivation to get into it. Mostly I don't even get into it although I would really be happy for constructive exchange.

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[–] raspirate@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

At any point that I'm about to make a post online and I realize that the emotional energy required to continue engaging is more than I'm willing to commit to this particular discussion, I just bail. No reply, no downvote, just peace out. It's really not worth it.

[–] subignition@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

question your assumption that you need to respond in the first place. You have no obligation to spend your energy on the "troll or functionally illiterate person" coin flip. to put it another way...

What I want is to say something that quickly quarantines the misreading comment in people's minds so the misreading doesn't infect the entire thread.

if for the sake of example we ignore the possibility that your writing actually was unclear or ambiguous, then for the misreading to "infect the entire thread", the other readers would have to have similarly poor reading comprehension, right? that or they're putting little enough effort in not to catch the original response being way off base. if that's the case, is it really that important how you are perceived?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is one reason I don't read DMs.

I stopped trying to have conversations on Reddit years ago, I don't think it would go any better here.

Shit post, have a laugh, don't take anything people say to you seriously, they don't know you, and you can't change their mind.

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

What do you mean you can't change my mind!?

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So you think you're always right, is that it?!?! You're saying everyone else is always wrong and you could never be wrong?!?!?!?! You think we're all a bunch of idiots who can't understand any of your big-brained ideas, because you're the only person smart enough to understand them?!??!?!?!?!??!?! So you think it's a waste of time to even try to explain your point?!??!?!??!?!!?!?!???!??!??!?!!?

Is that what you're trying to say?!1?1(1?11(1?1?1?1?1??1?1?????1?!!111??

spoiler/jk

[–] FluidBeef@quokk.au 3 points 1 week ago

It’s online, people are going to deliberately misinterpret your posts.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 3 points 1 week ago

On piefed I give them tags with emojis to remind myself they aren't worth engaging with.

🤪💩 for dumbshits is pretty common.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago (5 children)

If you must engage at all, and I recommend you don't, mockery works for me.

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[–] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

I recommend only continuing the interactions where you and your interlocutor seem to have aligned intentions. If they are trying to understand, that's what you posted for. Help them. If they have partially understood, you have partially succeeded. Use the interaction to help them understand and find better ways of expressing yourself. But if they have named you their opponent, you won't be able to fix that through the internet. If it seems worth it, add an 'edit: Blah blah blah' note to your original post to help keep others from misunderstanding but don't try to become a teacher for someone who has decided you are the enemy. Communication won't work without good-faith effort on both sides.

[–] despoticruin@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Block and move on. It's not worth the effort. The points don't matter and the rules are all made up anyway.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How to handle it: don't

Let other people in the comments downvote and correct them.

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[–] andrewrgross@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

There’s no helping some people. You might be talking about X, but they really hate Y. So they just ignore/disregard what you were trying to say, and just make it about Y.

[–] paris@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

But my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy's totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that's what I said.

Difficult as it is, I have to remind myself that the people who do this are not my target audience. They are swayed by the wind like blades of grass. Even if I convince them, they will be unconvinced by next week. The people who my words can affect are the people who bother to read what was actually said.

If I feel the need to reply, a very simple "that's not what I said but okay" and block them and move on. If they want to respond, anything they say will be longer than that sentence and the people who aren't invested will gloss over it and move on. And the people who are invested will go back and reread what I originally said. Or at least that's what I tell myself as I open up TikTok to look at videos of cats chattering and possums loudly cronching on grapes or whatever cute shit they're up to.

[–] CallMeAl@piefed.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you ask me, unserious people like that deserve no response at all.

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Everyone at one point is going to get triggered about something that they feel passionate about, and waste time writing paragraphs in replies. Once you recognize you are in that mode, move on. Find some silly cat videos, or fascists getting beat up.

This is the internet, where the positions are made up, and vote counts literally do not matter, at all.

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Seems pointless to worry about. Just move on I guess?

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