1003
Weirdly common (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
all 36 comments
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[-] ericisshort@lemmy.world 102 points 10 months ago

I had that dog as my interviewer too, but I made the wrong decision.

When I got the to interview, I immediately remindend him that when I saw him on the street, I said “Sorry I can’t feed you, I have a job interview so that I can get food. You should pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and get an interview so you too can get some food.” And he said “Yes, I took your advice and arrived here first and got the job you were going to interview for, so you’re fired.”

[-] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 38 points 10 months ago

got the job you were going to interview for, so you’re fired.

Damn, failed so hard you broke causality by being fired from a job you never had!

[-] ericisshort@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Yep. I already broke the premise, so I thought it would be even funnier to finish by breaking causality.

[-] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 8 points 10 months ago
[-] Alsephina@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Dhar mann video

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 61 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yesterday me and my interview candidate went out for a walk during the interview. We came across a starving dog and I realized it was time for a test for my candidate. I asked him, "What would you do with this starving dog to keep profits high?" And then he kicked the dog into the path of a car! Blood and guts and fur everywhere! I smiled and said, "Right answer! You're hired. But next time make sure you don't get any on your boss, ha ha!" And he laughed too, "ha ha!"

And that's how you hustle.

[-] Merwyn@sh.itjust.works 40 points 10 months ago

Not accurate at all. You need a lot more paragraph, even better if you cut them every 2 sentences, and emoji at the end and beginning of every sentences.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 23 points 10 months ago

This really makes you think.

[-] Algaroth@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

About dogs in my case.

[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

Somebody could make a great dystopian movie using LinkedIn posts as a basis for the script.

[-] funkyfarmington@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

It's not already a dystopian movie that we live in? It sure does feel like one.

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 1 points 10 months ago

So, a great dystopian documentary then?

[-] navi@lemmy.tespia.org 18 points 10 months ago

I like how this was posted on LinkedIn.

[-] Faresh@lemmy.ml 18 points 10 months ago

If we cut out the context of that anecdote we get something resembling those weird recovered Sumerian jokes.

[-] beckerist@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

For anyone else wanting to know more about 3000+ year old humor, please check out Irving Finkel on YouTube. He's hilarious, intelligent, spunky and keeps his talks interesting. I can kill an hour listening to him before I realize it.

One example: https://youtu.be/hDA6oIiQS4E

[-] flathead@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Just came back to say thanks for this link. Fairly sure I'm heading down a deep rabbit hole.

Also, ancient humor doesn't seem to have had much subtlety, but some of the ideas are timeless -

"An envious landlord sees how happy his tenants are.

So he evicts them all."

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/538490/worlds-oldest-jokebook

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

They used to give us drivel made-up stories like this at church. Feed a beggar who comes to your house, and later you find out it was Jesus and now you're eternally blessed. 🫤 yeah that seems sweet and all but I clearly remember one instance when one of our naive church members fell for something like this in the real world and the beggar turned out to be a scam artist.

And that's why we modern jaded people don't do nice things for others anymore.

But if it was a literal dog on the road? sure :-) dogs aren't commonly as manipulative and scoundrely as humans can be.

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Why was there no body? Is the dog a murderer? Or the interviewee?

[-] Algaroth@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Dog was buried above a murder victim.

[-] GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network 7 points 10 months ago

Why the fuck would I want to work for a starving dog

[-] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 31 points 10 months ago

Dog was just pretending. This is ceo dog.

[-] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

If he has time to go be homeless his job isn't that important right?

[-] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago

CEO=dead weight

[-] Kuvwert@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

He's a good boy

[-] Floey@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago
[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social -5 points 10 months ago

Great. Just when I thought the shitty “nobody” meme was dying, it evolves and makes even less sense.

[-] pensivepangolin@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Have you ever considered…not being cranky?

[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago

I’ll stop being cranky when there stops being things to be cranky about.

[-] Algaroth@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I wish there was something in between upvotes and downvotes. I relate to this in that it is cathartic to complain about things but at the same time I hate that there is so much to be bitter about.

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 2 points 10 months ago

I would say that doing nothing is pretty much between upvote and downvote 😅

[-] Algaroth@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

True, but I want people to know I did nothing.

[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 0 points 10 months ago

I always figured that’s what upvoting without boosting is.

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 1 points 10 months ago

Which is probably never

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

Nobody:

Me: I'll stop being cranky about it when people stop pointlessly appending "nobody:" to their comments

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

If it makes you feel any better, I found the post, and it's 2 years old lol

this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
1003 points (97.5% liked)

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