Early humans if they were introduced to modern conveniences:
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2026
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You could start a "men's retreat" and charge conservatives $18,000/week to do this to themselves.
To be fair, you can still shit standing up
And (almost) nothing makes sense again!
And it's probably still just as ineffective
The number of people in here who think that pre-historical bodies were as frail as city bodies, is very high. The only thing city bodies do well is resist the fettid creep surrounding their lifestyle.
Outside people didn't get sepsis and starve all the time. In that habitat that city people find terrifying, they thrive. They are very very susceptible to the top tier viruses, bacteria, alcohol, sugar, entertainment, and control structures bred by thousands of generations of natural selection in the people pile though.
you get a scratch, you die in pain from infection a week later
Mortality rate was higher than today but life wasn't anywhere near that extreme. Most people don't die from minor untreated infections - that's what our immune system is for.
That's part of "no growing old 😃"
Calvin Coolidge Jr. died from sepsis in 1924. He was playing tennis and got a blister on his foot, it was infected and there were no meds to stop the infection.
Coolidge Jr got the blister playing tennis barefoot, and probably ignored it until the ensuing staph infection was well underway. People of that time (1924) who paid attention to their little injuries - wash with soap and water, hit it with some alcohol, cover it (i.e. don't keep going barefoot on it) didn't tend to die from them.
Tennis: Not even once.
Bob Marley died from gangrene following a football injury on his toe.
I assume he had 'reasons' not to go to a doctor?
I used to work in the American medical system and I can speak for hours about all the abuses and stupid mistakes Western medicine can make. But I can do even more on how people hurt themselves by not going to doctors.
There was a fellow who had arm apin and went to a chiropractor. Heart attack.
Marley rejected his doctors' advice to have his toe amputated, which would have hindered his performing career, citing religious beliefs.
Peg Leg Bates.
Famous one legged dancer Marley would almost certainly ahve heard of.
Rastafarianism has a taboo against body modifications.
I imagined they would be squatting for shits
Actually most of your friends would be gatherers
Just a fancy name for 'hunters of fruits and berries!'
I got a cousin, lost a finger to a jackfruit but he still managed to take the sumbitch down. Dude wears its skin as a helmet now.
What's stopping you from shitting standing up now?
Low-fiber diet I guess.
Failure at hunting for a couple of days means you die of starvation
IIRC hunter-gatherers had such varied sources of food and strong food-sharing networks that starvation wasn't so common as one would expect
Yeah I mean it worked well enough to bootstrap to agriculture multiple times around the world
Looking at Trump once tells me our ancestors got lucky quite often.
I mean you ~can~ shit standing up today...
Waffle stomping?