this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

Somebody needs to go to a urologist…

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Porn addict develops ED as he ages and thinks he broke his penis.

[–] foodandart@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 hours ago

High blood pressure will do the stiff dick in every time. All the time.

[–] spacegoat@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago

Skill issue

[–] pomfegranate@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago

I think that might be a brain tumor or something

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

zero libido now. No interest in women or sex.

How do I achieve this?

[–] Pollo_Jack@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

Hormone imbalance

[–] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I want to know EXACTLY how much masturbation makes one's "penis not work" but i suspect it differs from person to person.

Perhaps the first monks were people who wanked once and then went "oh no.... Oh no no no"

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago

It doesn’t. Bro has ED and wants to blame it on porn and masterbation.

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 12 hours ago

I can still get erections despite having T levels that are too low to measure with a normal blood test. Skill issue.

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 39 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Some religious nutter trying to spread misinformation.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago

For real. Nothing in the real world works like he's portraying it.

I could see someone having a dwindling libido for unrelated reasons and confabulating a false narrative like this one to explain it. (Though even if he truly believes what he's saying, it's likely due to exposure to #nofap nuts.)

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Oh yeah, I was originally thinking homeboy just developed ED but propaganda is just as likely .

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Sounds like y’all been cranking dat hog a lil too hard brotha! Give that shit a few days rest. Can I get a hell ya brotha?!?

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 11 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Was probably just death grip sydroming himself to the point of nothing being a strong enough sensation to feel.

If you literally beat your meat with an iron Kung Fu grip then no orifice on another person's body is ever going to be tight enough to give you normal pleasure and you will feel broken and blame the other. Retraining is possible but stop now if you use a strong grip and use softer methods of masturbation.

Yes, death grip is real, and it sucks for the partner in your life, too. I've been with guys who'd death-gripped themselves out of enjoying the sensation of another's body, and lemme tell you, having him go on for ages isn't as fun as it sounds. As the partner, you start to feel like you're not good enough, because nothing you do seems to get him off. Sex becomes less fun and more of a chore, to the point that you start to wonder why you're bothering at all. You both know he'd get more pleasure from masturbating, so why even be involved?

I've had exes who tried to cut back on masturbation, take days off, and that's just to bring back libido. But there is no quick solution, it takes time and careful self-monitoring to resensitize. I hope more people become aware of this phenomenon, take caution, and use lube when masturbating - because giving yourself intimacy problems before the age of 30 isn't fun for anyone.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 1 points 6 hours ago

Death grip should be enough of a reason for dudes to normalize sex toys. Sure you can develop plenty of other unhealthy habits with sex toys, and you can have a perfectly healthy approach without sex toys, but sex toys make it a lot easier to continue to have normal sexual habits once you are sexually active with a partner again

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

can confirm, you got to either go cold turkey or switch to basic toy like tenga spinner

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 81 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Anon suffers a hormone dysfunction, blames it on masturbation like a good christian boy.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 17 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Doesn't necessarily mean he's Christian. Some people are legitimately misinformed. There is a lot of myths regarding sex and masturbation that we really don't do much to challenge.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Indeed; however, it is likely because of christianity that these myths aren't challenged and also likely what caused this greentext... if it's not fake and/or gay.

[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 76 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

POV: Pseudoscience 4channer tries to make a suprius connection between edging and erectile disfunction.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 21 hours ago

Nofap propaganda mastermind strikes again

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 17 hours ago

If you broke it, anon, it was from improper operation; not regular usage.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago

I know those posts are stupid and wrong but I can't help and worry about how I lost much of the relief from masturbation over the years. Haven't been with a girl for years and that really worries me

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 46 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

Mid 30s and still going strong 💪 i can edge for hours. Recently i visited family for a week and didnt fap the whole time, when I finally got home fapped for 5 hours and cummed 7 times.

Sounds like a skill issue tbh. I think in my late teens and early 20s I spent more waking hours with dick in hand than not.

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 34 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Nah the green text is just total bullshit. That is not how any of that works, medically speaking. Sure you can create psychological issues, and sperm volume can go down temporarily from extreme, eh, flow, but that's as close to real as the post gets.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 23 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

For real, the post feels like one of those christian anti-porn campaigns.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago

A real telltale sign of the far-bible-team is the part where he does everything else except see a doctor.

[–] PromKingJosh@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 12 points 20 hours ago

this reads like greentext

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[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Okay, I'm asking it, what the fuck is edging? (i don't want to see weidrs results)

[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago

Keeping yourself on the edge of climax for extended periods of time, to enhance the eventual climax.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 9 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (5 children)

Read "The Multiorgasmic Man". Edging does not break your dick.

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