this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
780 points (99.4% liked)

Microblog Memes

11893 readers
1994 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

RELATED COMMUNITIES:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 6 points 6 days ago

Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby

[–] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How else are you supposed to do that if at all? /genq

[–] deft@lemmy.wtf 2 points 6 days ago

Play weird social volleyball where you can't be too interested or straightforward and hide your true intentions?

[–] Kuma@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

this made me laugh, this is how some of my clients have introduced them self. Sometimes it can be all their hobbies and what not for 5-10 mins and then they add "oh and my title is x and this is my expectations" lol

[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 3 points 6 days ago

hi im kate i like cheese and the shark pillow from ikea

[–] meejle@piefed.world 143 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh

[–] Cremisi@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it's their loss. Wasn't going to be a compatible relationship anyway.

[–] Cavemanfreak@programming.dev 12 points 1 week ago

Hey, weird does not automatically mean bad. The people I most like to hang with are really weird people.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf 86 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

The inigo montoya style:

Step 1: Give a polite greeting.

Step 2: State your name.

Step 3: Establish a personal connection.

Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

[–] starik@lemmy.today 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

FYI,
You can do single line
breaks on Lemmy. Just
put 2 spaces at the end
of a line before the Enter.

[–] YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf 1 points 6 days ago

Nice, I looked up some markup, but this one's new to me. Thanks!

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.

"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"

[–] clif@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

They get very agitated when they learn their server is in a basement located in a floodway.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.

We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That seems like a lot of fun! Do you live in the same city? I would complain abt all the road work

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

We live on opposite sides of the country.

We grew up in a very Republican area. I stayed and fight the good fight, but my sister has a child and it's better not to raise children in this environment.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] artifex@piefed.social 35 points 1 week ago

This would be amazing.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What was the interesting fact?

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's terrible but I don't remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

Maybe it was "Pterosaurs are sneaky in the bathroom because their pee is silent. "

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 week ago

Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...

"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"

(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Hi, I'm George Kastanza, I'm 38 and I live with my parents."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] vane@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago

I mean, "your ass looks nice let's fuck" is basically what some ppl do. lol

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

No joke, I've had this happen.

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

You need to elaborate

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] fletcher_bosom@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 15 points 1 week ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.

All I can say is it works.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 13 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 8 points 6 days ago
[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 week ago

I love the idea of two grown ass adults in their 50s standing on the side line as their 80+ year old dads charge at each other with their walkers/walking frames/rolators.

[–] pedantichedgehog@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?

Picture it: "hi I'm Hedgehog what's your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus"

Unfortunately now I'm an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I.. would love this idea.

load more comments
view more: next ›