this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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[–] lurker_supreme@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

how do i get a job at the baby whacking factory? does it pay well?

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Serious answer: become a nurse, get a job at a neonatal intensive care unit. Newborns are both precious and delicate, and also tough and require manhandling. You'll get plenty of baby-whacking opportunities with parental approval!

[–] lurker_supreme@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

Serious reply, NICU nurses are the closest things to angels in this world and I appreciate everything they do. I know a few people I am close to would not be here without them.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

To become a professional baby whacker you gotta be a nurse at least

The pay is surprinsingly not that good considering the importance of the duty

[–] lurker_supreme@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

should i practice whacking any other types of infants before my interview? i know a couple whose dogs just had puppies

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

Perhaps you should apply to Transportation Secretary

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago
[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago
[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago
[–] varmint@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

Coconut bonk sound effect

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

I’ve seen things people you wouldn’t believe

Attack triangles, blurring red, off the shoulder of Nurse Ryan

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago

Hey wtf you a-hole that's my face!!