Some days I open Instagram
That's the problem.
It's literally in your hands to solve your problem. Don't compare yourself to others and delete social media. It is that easy.
this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2026
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Many people go into debt to keep up the appearance of success.
I know this had been said, but, none of it is real. As you said its the highlight reel. I am drowning, but, everyday I wake up I count 10 things I'm grateful for. Comparison is the theft of joy.
Comparison of the theft of joy.
I’ve never heard it stated that way before but I believe it to be true.
You are still alive. You have a smartphone and a data plan. You are clearly educated. You are healthy enough to think and type.
So realistically, I'd say that puts you miles ahead of most humans of the past and the present.
Stop comparing yourself to the ideals that others are presenting as norms.
The whole point of those platforms is to sell yourself as being better then others so the platform can then place ads that make you think those products will help you reach the same place you just saw.
Trying to work on it ..
You can start by deleting the app.
I deleted all that shite.
It's nice not subconsciously comparing myself to people I don't know anymore.
I got the the point where I just didn't give a fuck about people's holidays, offspring, cocktails at some pijo bar etc.
This song always makes me feel better
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
Promise it's not a rickroll.
Very few people post depressing stuff on Instagram.
First off, you're on Insta or Facebook, most people are only on there to brag or beg. It's toxic, get off of there.
Second, life sucks. You could have been dealt a crap hand in life and have to work harder than those you associate with. Maybe you made some bad choices and you need to work your way out of that. No way for me to know.
Life is about compromise and you don't know what they gave up or the life lottery they won to get to where they are.
The point is, it's all a mask. As corny as it may sound, you need to determine what goals you need to set, figure out what you need to do to obtain those goals, and you be the winner of your story, not they be the winner of yours.
For perspective, me at 22. Kicked out of the military, recently divorced, and living on a couch in my parents basement.
By any measure, I was WAY behind anyone else I knew.
Now, at 50, I have a job I truly love, a nice apartment with just me and the cat. Have a couple motorcycles, game consoles, and my time is my own.
I'm not rich, but I make more than I spend in a given month, have enough savings that I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, and an emergency expense won't ruin me.
It took a long time to figure out what happiness looked like for me, and to stop judging my life by those around me.
Sure, my siblings are more "successful", but I can't say they seem happier than I am.
I don't use any social media aside from Lemmy, I don't follow anyone, and experience people the old fashioned way, in person or through phone calls.
Look around your life and see the things you do have. Not to post, just for you to recognize.
Think about what it is that makes you happy, both day to day, and in say a five year plan. Make a goal, make it achievable, and then do it. Just for you.
Go see a live show, buy yourself a present, take a short trip to see a place you've never been, invest in a new hobby, take up a musical instrument.
And for fuck sake stay away from AI chats and social media!
I genuinely feel like...
That's because you have decided to feel like that.
(Yes, I am implying that you can decide the other way now, but I did not say that this would be an easy thing)
A ton of Instagram content is designed to amp up your insecurities and then sell you some course or whatever… lots of goofy activities going on like influencers banding together to rent massive houses and nice cars as the backdrop for some video about how they’re gajillionaires at 20 and you can be too if you just buy their course 🙄. And as you said for the real people on there who aren’t influencers there is a bias towards generally wanting to post the things that put themselves in the best light.
I only use Instagram these days when an old pal sends me a reel, the influencer to friend ratio is too high nowadays for my taste
Don't forget that some people are handed everything. They are winning on the coat tails of their parents or whomever.
why are you doing this?
I mean, I think you more or less have it figured out, as you outlined in your post. Now you just need to do the work - whenever you feel the feeling of "I'm falling behind, its a disaster!" or "They have a new car and I don't and I want it, its not fair!", just take a moment (personally, I count 5 natural breaths as a convenient timer) to notice how the feeling actually feels. The physical sensations, the kinds of thoughts it brings up, the other emotions it brings up - be interested and curious about the feeling itself. The longer you can sit with the feeling like this - just feeling, noticing, being interested and curious - the more likely it is to feel heard and take its leave. And as you complete this practice over and over, the feeling is more likely to feel its mission is complete, and not come around to worry you.
This actually makes a lot of sense, thank you for laying it out. Could you break down how you actually do the 5-breath practice in the moment? Like, do you close your eyes, keep doing whatever you were doing, or fully pause? And when you say "notice the physical sensations," are you talking about things like a tight chest or racing thoughts, or is it more subtle than that? Want to actually try this properly instead of doing a half version of it....
I find closing my eyes is helpful for focusing on the sensations, but if this would be weird or dangerous (eg, in the middle of a conversation or while driving), I will do my best without closing my eyes. Same with stopping what I am doing, etc. I feel like this technique has the greatest immediate effect when I can stop whatever I'm doing, sit down, and focus on the feeling entirely for an indefinite period of time. But I think the most important thing for long term progress is simply noticing the feeling in the moment and allowing yourself to feel it, even if just a little, for just a fraction of a second.
So to do it properly, I suggest not trying to do it properly. Just do it, but do it as consistently as possible.Then if you feel the urge, carve out 5 minutes per day or a couple times per day to specifically remember the feeling, and feel it uninterrupted.