Ask Lemmy

As a teenager, I could sense some people only hung out with me because they could speak about certain interests they have. I was hoping it'd be different in adulthood

Narcissism.

That can be everything from narcissists to sociopaths or regulars underdeveloped or issues with the moral compass.

oh, do you mean basically anyone from LA? As it is so far the only group of people i have had the displeasure to run into anywhere on earth who will only talk to you if you have something to offer and take no social interest otherwise.

fuckin bizarre. I always have to work through a few trust issues after meeting someone from LA. I'll have to do a few normal-human VS LA excersises so i can fit in with my own crew again. Otherwise my friends are like 'no im legitimately interested in how your day went today, lets go grab a coffee and work through this. i legitimately like your company' kinda reassurance. Remind myself 'kindness' actually exists as a fundamental human trait and isnt just a ploy.

aweful tribe over there. one place i will never visit on earth for my own sanity.

This is how children see the world.

Usually, people develop beyond this and see the utility of having relationships that are defined by their social depth, shared experiences and values, and aesthetic qualities.

Look also at Kohlberg's stages of moral development. (Sorry for the Wikipedia article link. But, still, it's a start. If I can find a different resource, I'll edit.)

The people youre describing are stuck at stage 2.

I saw a clip from an interview with a "looks maxing" influencer. He was explaining how a date wasn't really worth it unless he could stream it. The interviewer asked him "what about just hanging out with the girl and getting to know her"?

"where is the ROI in that"? 😱

Yeah I've met people like that. I believe they're normally called "psychopaths" for short. They tend to be concentrated in particular places and occupations and of course they will all tell you that it's perfectly normal and that everyone else is also like that and just hiding it.

MBAs

I think it's most common to call it a "transactional" personality – and the way of thinking is often called "transactionalism", although that's kind of unfortunate since that's also the name of an approach within philosophical pragmatism. I've heard "instrumentalism" as well, which is also unfortunate in that it shares the name of a sort of pragmatist philosophical approach.

The latter term has been used some in discussions about kindergarten policy here in Norway, to criticize perspectives that only consider kindergartens, and childhood, to exist for the sake of adulthood or adult society.

I mean I do this some, though I still respect that they are a person, but largely why we know each other is as cogs in the machine you know?

Like is Jerry is a cool guy, I hope he and his family settle into their new place in Canada, but to me, and if another coworker asked who he was, he is "the guy that resets my laptop when I lock it out".

When i was young, we called them leeches.

There's a difference between people who are great to know because of their utility and being their friend because of it. That being said, in business it often is reduced to that. I think lots of business folks blend the line too much with the salesman approaches, playing golf, celebrating client milestones, etc. In some ways the people around you are your pool of potential friends, so it's not that weird, but anyone with a checkbox for a mechanic, an electrician, an accountant, etc, Is just a user.

I work around a lot of talented and knowledgeable people, many of them are masters of their craft, and it spans white collar and blue. It's a great place to learn and have enthusiastic conversations as a hobbyist or novice to a master. I think us all helping each other out is kinda beautiful in its own way, but if I felt they didn't enjoy helping me for free then I wouldn't ask.

Presidential

I recommend watching this TED Talk by Adam Grant. It’s 14 min and groups people as “givers, takers, or matchers.”

A well integrated personality in our so wonderful capitalist societies?

In this model, humanity is merely more than a tool and/or a resources to be transformed using said tool, like any other natural resources. As a tool, we may very well be on the verge of being severely demoted (thx to AI and robots). And as a resources, in a pure capitalist logic, we should not have any rights (certainly not to decide of anything) but the right of being used by the ones able to exploit and transform us into more wealth (for themselves).

It's even more obvious when observing the active (and enthusiastic) demolishing of any form of spirituality/morality which were the only real limits one could us in order to restrain that relentless logic...

Following that logic we should not even be considered citizens of our respective countries anymore, not any more than a lump of coal or a cow grazing. Could this exactly be what is coming for us? Nah... Obviously, I'm just being silly here. Good question, though.