Remember when Penis Inspection Day was just a silly meme? I don't like that it's real now, and it's every day.
this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2026
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Oi mate you got a loisance for that willy?
Penis Inspection Day
I apologize that I’ve been praying to Xi all this time, you limeys take precedence
I need to check your child’s phone for naked pictures of your child, said the well meaning official with authority you can’t question
Honestly, if you want to protect kids and ban something, just ban smartphones from kids.
It'll be more effective, less annoying to everyone else and we might get a nice new type of phone.
Stop being pricks to everyone else because you don't want to tell Dean he's a shit dad.
So, this is the same as worst Korea right? They legislated that all websites have to install their mandatory ai scanning shit and foot the extra costs of hardware requirements to run it. UK seems to be doing the same but seems focused on the big players at the moment.
Relevant post on the UK government website:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-plans-to-stop-children-taking-sharing-or-viewing-nude-images
I have a few pics of my junk and my gf has the same ones on her phone so i won't mind if they want to look at it and then come to inspect our phones so i can show it to them again and again and how ever many times they want to look at it until they fuck off.
Unlicensed dong pics, sorry that’s 10 years in jail
Oh i would love for them to make that a law so that can get a "dick license", WITH a picture on it.
ok now we're hogposting
Have the volcel police gone too far?
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
Nude images, so this includes sex education material too. Great.
on the plus side, it's the uk so enforcement is going to be shambolic or non-existent
"I need to check your kid's phone to make sure there are no nudes" is the kind of thing that should make every parent reach for a fucking weapon istg
The issue is not that children take nude pictures of themselves! That's normal! That's fine! The issue is adults interfering with children! And this explicitly doesn't stop that! It prevents children having "nude" images on their phone (Assuming it even works) but not adults! Adults can still have these pictures!
The only issue this even approaches is the epidemic of monstrous boys ruining the lives of girls (In my experience this is a heavily gendered issue) who take nude pictures of themselves, by slutshaming and spreading it around for further slutshaming.
But the problem is once again not the fucking victim! A teenage girl who takes a naked picture and sends it to a boy who wants it hasn't done anything wrong! The boy who shares it or calls her a slut afterwards should be flogged or something.
And does this software go on everyone's phone and can children just say theyre adults in a menu/take a picture of a person on TV who looks adults and have porn again? This doesn't seem like it will actually stop anyone.
Edit: Whatever. Man. This isn't the worst thing the UK has done. But once again. They're doing this while simultaneously reducing all pther government capacity AND covering for sexual assault.
Better if they dont look Prince Andrew's phone btw
You mean the pleb formerly known as Prince Andrew.
It's like Cromwell never died
Es por nuestro bien.
Remember when Apple did this?
Apple's implementation ultimately was good. It's opt in, it's on device only and it links children to pages about grooming and avoiding it, tells them it isn't their fault, etc. I suppose the only bad thing is it might send an alert to their parents if they're teenagers enrolled in it as preteens though it's supposed to ask for ages and for teens I think it just gives them links to what grooming is and warns them they shouldn't do it before allowing them to view it anyways after tapping. So in the end I think Apple handed it as reasonably as could be done and asking for more as the surveillance police state that is the UK is just for control not to help kids.
Fact is they are freaking out still about support for Palestine and awareness of the genocide and even the limited understanding of Ukraine being a nazi state among 5% of the population. They want back uncontrolled hegemony over the information space and this is a good way to backdoor it in. You put this in, then add a demand later to bolt onto this system a way to block "proscribed memes, images and videos", you use Microsoft's photoDNA meant for detecting CSAM and you add to it anti-imperialist memes, information videos and photos and you get reports on undesirables to blackbag or sanction and prevent the spread of counter-propaganda. It's about total control of information and the population. It's beyond the wildest dreams or aspirations of any past state whether socialist under siege, fascist, etc and it's wild that people are just kind of yawning at it because most have been inured to passively accept surveillance by Facebook (itself a CIA project really) and the like.