this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
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Today I Learned

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Wank your way to wellness.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Too bad it doesn't work to stop my partner from snoring

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

I find that, if I just get up and jerk off in the basement, I can't hear it for a while.

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

There's this old Finnish saying: "Nuha lähtee nussimalla" which translates roughly to "Fucking gets rid of flu". Guess there's some truth to that, then.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Is that to be understood verbatim, or is it a euphemism for something?

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 3 points 8 hours ago

It's to be understood verbatim AFAIK :D

[–] slickgoat@lemmy.world 12 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Why not write orgasm relieves sinus congestion? Do we need to codify how orgasm arrives? What about a stampede of angry zebras? That usually does the trick for me

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

Because it doesn't work on Furries.

[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

If a stampede of zebra's gets you off more power to you.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Gives a whole new meaning to "unclogging those pipes"

[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Hell really makes you see porno a different way when the "handyman" come a knockin.

[–] owsei@programming.dev 40 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Oh yeah!

Before I had septum surgery and I'd get constant congestion I thought that jerking off actually helped me to breath better. Honestly I actually thought it was placebo, nut apparently not!

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 38 points 22 hours ago (2 children)
[–] owsei@programming.dev 12 points 21 hours ago

lmao I won't edit it

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Hey! I remember you from a former life on reddit or lemmy or stackoverflow or something, and always thought of you as a decent person. Good to see you on lemmy.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Either Lemmy or reddit. I think we've talked here a few times. How've you been?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

All good, new job, nice colleagues, supportive boss, fun car. You?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 minutes ago

That's awesome! I'm glad you're doing well! 😊

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 57 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Shit, this can be my solution to my long term cat allergy, but i gonna collect more data on that.

[–] Melonpoly@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago

Hope relief cums quickly

[–] certified_expert@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ask for the cat's consent fist

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 1 day ago (4 children)
[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

A cat is fine too.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 19 hours ago

A C A T I S F I N E T O O

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[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My thing is they say good sex can clear up allergies but what about bad sex?

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)
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[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 9 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

(He walks in, wearing an un-flattering speedo)
"Hey, babe. You ready for a good time?"
"Oh. God. Honey...please, not now, I have a splitting headache. I've had this stuffed up nose and it feels like I haven't been getting enough air all day."
"I have good news for you, and great news for me."

[–] Patnou@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

I can get rid of it in 30 seconds ;)

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago

My gosh. Imagine how fucking congested I would be.

[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 28 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

It's amazing how well your body can turn off pains and symptoms just because "might be mating!"

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Have to look presentable! Be on top form!

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 6 points 19 hours ago

Or bottom, we don't judge here. Y'all do you

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 22 hours ago (5 children)

i can get my vibrator covered by insurance to cure migraines.

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

I tried to get insurance to cover my Chuck’s Suck ‘n Fuck 9000 but they blocked my number.

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[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 4 points 18 hours ago

Oh hello Mr Police Officer, I know this is a bus but I was really congested.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

You should find a place where nobody can see you first, though. Don't ask me how I know

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

So other forms of orgasm offer no such relief?

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Wet dreams? Though when I'm sick, congestion seems to disappear when I sleep (only to return after I wake up.) So if that's normal and if wet dreams have some kind of decongestant property, we may never know.

[–] Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 18 hours ago

Are there other forms of orgasm? Apart from spontaneous orgasms

[–] sqauffle@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah they say an orgasm is like eight sneezes

[–] hark@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

But I feel so bad after a sneezing fit from allergies.

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