Trans Memes

I was viciously transed against my will by TotallyNotJessica's memes.

I actually just let myself try being the slightest bit femme "just to see how I'd feel" and it felt so good it shattered my whole conception of myself.

It was when Madeline from celeste taught me how to dash twice

I spent my life thinking I should have been a girl/woman. One day I realised I was.

Of course, it was a bit more of a journey than that makes it sound, but that's the gist of it

When I worked in retail some customers would approach me from the back to ask me something and because I have long hair they would call me "moça" (miss or lady in portuguese) before seeing my face. It made me feel a sparkle inside me and I started questioning myself.

Actual trans knowledge: About 7 or 8 years ago I found an egg discord and hung out there learning until I was sure I had the right answer.

Earliest major clue: Saw Beetlejuice when I was 6 and really wanted to try on the red dress Lydia wears at the climax of the film. That night while I was lying in bed, moonlight falling through lacy curtains cast a shadow on my arm that looked like a long black lace glove, and I was absolutely fascinated by it.

I'm a child of moonshadow.

A woman in customer service over the phone a few years ago called me ma'am and i didn't correct her. The whole conversation i kept thinking omg omg i like this alot.

It took me a good year and a half to figure out why that phone call made me happy.

I am incredibly glad that i gave myself the space and confidence to discover who i have always been and to take action to affirm my true self.

My last ever girlfriend asked me, after we had broken up, Do you think you are a girl? I said yes. I had convinced myself that for years I had this shameful fetish. That liking feminine things and clothes and such was some perversion. Once the lightbulb came on, I started looking at all of these “shameful” things I had done. Things from my childhood actually made sense.

I’ve lost a lot by being the real me, but I’d still do it again.

I microdosed some LSD while home alone one night and decided I needed to shave my face. Looked in the mirror once I was done and thought “oh wow, she looks nice :)” and then proceeded to softlock myself for 5 minutes

Called a friend who is also trans immediately after at like 2AM in a panic and she helped talk me through my thoughts and feelings, and within a couple weeks I managed to accept it

Anyway, several years later and now we’re dating and live together and very very gay :3

rosado from fire emblem engage made me start dressing feminine then I realized that I like being a girl more than being a femboy so that week long stint was gone already

I went to college and met a transfem enby, making me realize just how cool trans people were and how much affinity I had for them. I then explored trans spaces on Reddit for a couple years, finally feeling like I found my people even though I didn't think of myself as one of them.

Then I found egg_irl, and my goodness did it scare me. Being around out and proud trans people was fun, but the serious notion that I could be one of them was so terrifying that I avoided it like the plague. It felt like discovering an infohazard that was bad for me in some way. However, I just couldn't keep myself from coming back; like I couldn't look away; like some supernatural force was calling to me.

The biggest reason for my doubt was that I never once consciously wanted to be another gender growing up. I only knew that I was miserable, and while I wanted to want to be a girl, I didn't have enough experience to know I wanted to be a girl. What I was able to accept was that I hated being a man, as I did have reference for what that was like.

After finally getting more comfortable with the idea of being trans, I finally decided to try identifying as nonbinary. The few people I did tell helped me confirm that I was not cis, as I was really happy when they didn't treat me as a man. However, it was only when I experimented with femininity that my eyes were opened to what I really wanted. While I got to crossplay in videogames before, feeling like a woman in irl social situations just felt undeniably right, even moreso than not being a man.

Having actual experience that was impossible to ignore eventually tore through all the doubt and fears. The shell was finally obliterated when I imagined being a mom in depth and realized that it made me more happy than any future I imagined for myself as a man. Not only was my perspective on having kids completely rewritten, I finally graduated from denial to the closet.

i deffo knew as a child and just didn’t have the words for it. and then being raised in a conservative area, i was hilariously malinformed about anything remotely queer.

i was probably late teens/early 20s when i finally started breaking down all the internalized shame bullshit. the catalyst was just talking to queer folk and going “o fuck it’s me”

community is really important.

Lived for like 18 years thinking it was just a "fetish" and it will eventually stop. Meanwhile I was increasingly depressed of the fact that I wasn't born a girl but also "surely is an obsession I can't control" to the point that in retrospective doesn't make a lot of sense. Let's say trans people aren't well perceived here (or represented) so, internalized transphobia did it's part too. Was due an MLP Fanfic that I had to confront myself and it took me like another two or three years of internal conflict to accept that, in fact, if my three genie wished are "being born a girl" and the button press between "a billion" and "being a girl" were always the same and indeed it was not a very cis thing think, then I might be trans.

Now I'm utterly afraid of the process of HRT, its outcome (not passing) and the immediate social, physical and mental danger it poses nowadays.

But at least I know the root of all my anxiety, depression, and what later on learnt was called "dysphoria".

I remember as a child wanting to dress as a girl. This was met with violent rejection by my family for the most part. I learned quickly as my personality was forming that parts of it were dangerous and scary, and to never show those parts. As I grew media showed me that Trans people were at best mentally ill, but most often paraded as sick, dangerous freaks. I felt like girls were more interesting, but I was just a boy.

I identified as male most of my life, but I resented it. Men just dont look good, arent interesting to look at, so what's the point of nice clothes? Male spaces are toxic, sports are boring, but of course im a guy so im not allowed in the girl spaces I wish I could be in. When I was a teenager I discovered anime, specifically ranma 1/2, and holy shit did i wish I could just turn into a girl. Still a guy though.

Everything developed into fetishism, because I learned that what I was feeling and doing was perverted. And the only spaces where it was expressed was through kinky spaces. I got lucky in that I found a long-term relationship that allowed me to express myself, and explore the feminine part of me. But I was still a guy.

As an adult I was vaguely dissatisfied with things. I was in a great relationship, still am. But I hated playing, dressing up or whatever because I would always have to put it away to go out into the real world. I remember my spouse once asked me how I felt during a scene, am I a boy or a girl in the moment? and I was annoyed because the thought I had was that im a girl, always a girl. Still didnt get it.

One day im driving along having a conversation with myself as I do when im driving. It was a conversation I've had many times wondering about certain quirks of my creative process. But this time a little subconcious voice popped into my head to answer. It said "maybe you do that because its the only time you can ever feel entirely like a girl." And i said, "what?" And my subconscious said, "okay bye!" As thousands of connections hit all at once in my brain.

Now I know, but im terrified of it. Im middle aged, and my whole life Trans people were freaks. Thats obviously wrong, but I chose the worst time to figure it out. Because the country i live in has decided to use Trans kids as a bludgeom of what's wrong with society. Im trying to live more authentically but I feel isolated. Therapy is helping, and I recommend it if you can get access to help. But I have a lifetime of toxicity to unravel.

when my roomies married i was giga stressed to find an outfit, that i liked. i didn't. i was super weirded out by the suit-or-dress-situation. i was upset, that i did not feel comfy around my friends, at all. a day after the party it all fell a part i did not try to explain, why i wouldnt wear a dress, but think about that i'd like to ... then i decided hrt. this whole night felt like i had a revelation. there was no reasoning, no recognising; there was just an unknown self making itself heared for the first time.

I spent a lot of my life not really liking my body and feeling ambivalent about relationships and love nothing really did anything for me.

While i was working graveyard shift at a retirement home i was helping one of my residents get to bed and she pulled me aside she brought back plastic beads for all the caregivers, she put them on me tilted her head and said wow that's beautiful.

It was like getting hit by a truck i had to leave i was so flustered it felt like my face was melting and my heart wouldn't stop racing.

It took a lot after that for me to realize the full extent and getting on meds for diabetes helped a lot with other stuff that had been missed but i still think about that simple compliment.

erotador called me a girl about a year ago while responding to one of my posts here. It was the first time I'd ever been gendered correctly on purpose. I think I was pretty sure by then, but the euphoria it gave me made it impossible to deny.

I know that isn't the full answer to the question, I just remembered that moment and I'm feeling so damn grateful rn

When browsing imgur the trans timelines from Reddit kept coming up. I eventually noticed I was feeling jealous of those women, and it occurred to me that probably said something.

Last year of highschool, I was getting heartbroken over a crush on this girl I haven't had the guts to talk to for 4 years. Suddenly I starting thinking about being a girl kinda out of nowhere and I just went with it right away. Took a few years till I finally got to start hrt and transition.

I had been on a bit of a journey of self discovery the couple years before. I started therapy, got diagnosed with ADHD, started meds, accepted I'm bi, found out I have autism, just a bunch of stuff. I think I always knew I wanted to be a girl, but I never connected that with being trans, partly out of ignorance and partly I think I just didn't believe I could ever be truly happy with myself. So before my egg cracked I knew there was some gender stuff going on just not what exactly.

Anyway one day my ex and I decided to do some acid together, and after like an hour it just hit me all at once that I'm a woman. Like a real live lightbulb moment, one second I believe I'm a man and the next I realize I'm actually a woman. I had never felt so feminine before in my life. It was just so obvious that I was a woman inside and had been doing this ridiculous man impression my whole life, I couldn't deny it anymore. I feel kinda lucky I got to have such a clean moment of clarity. In handsight I would have figured it out eventually, but it was nice to be slapped in the face and handed the truth on a silver platter for once in my life.

It took almost a year after that to finally get on hormones, for several stupid reasons and several reasonable but annoying reasons, but now I am and I've literally never been happier with myself than I am now.

i figured it out that i wasn't happy with my gender in middle school, but i also didn't really have the words for it, plus the stigma and family pressure was such that at the time that i decided to just repress and focus on studies/career. it didn't help that the environment in both the college i went to and the career i picked trended towards the conservative and misogynistic.

i survived mentally via escapism, playing female characters in stuff like wow helped a lot. after graduating, moving to a new city, and working for like a decade i finally started to realize how depressed i was and started transition.

by that time i had got more involved with my local anarchists and i was good friends with a really cool trans woman that i met through organizing and she really helped pull me out of denial.

i never really trusted the medical system and would never be particularly honest with doctors, especially male ones. eventually my comrade pointed out that i could just walk into a clinic and get a prescription with informed consent, so i did! it only took me like 20 years.

i think some transfem or femboy people/charecters made me realize that i would much brefer to be feminin, and breadtube made me realize that gender is bs and honestly i am better off without it :3

When I was young I would play make believe games and stuff with friends, probably common. Less common was that at some point when I was pretty young I started playing a female character. Every time. And I would always choose women in video games. I started wishing I could be a woman. Would wish on shooting stars, or when I blew out birthday candles to be a woman. Clearly that was what everyone did though, nbd (I’m dumb). 20 years later with failing mental health I had a break and just couldn’t take it.

Something that helped was that by this point, I had learned more, knew what being trans was, there were more role models or at least some visibility, and I finally stopped repressing and started my own journey.

we were very bigoted and racist online, but still liked lesbian relationships, and really wanted to be in one. we saw an artwork of astolfo making out with another boy, and initially thought they were girls. upon learning they were male, we went "oh... honestly, still super hot. wait, i'm a boy, i should do that!"

had a brief coming as a femboy, then fast forward a couple weeks and we do not even identify as male.

we experimented with some feminine clothing we had access to and really loved it. we also thought to the euphoria we felt one time when we were referenced as "daughter" and began to think about what our gender really was. it was still hard to accept that we weren't male, so we opted for the designation of bigender, although genderfluid was probably the better descriptor for what we believed we were hehe (lots of exposure to queer people, but not a lot of actual knowledge at the time). this continued on for a few months. family also being nonbinary made us feel a lot better, even if we didnt talk about it to them for years.

then, we realized that being male just isnt us in any capacity, and after some internal debate we settled on being a girl. we accepted that we weren't even really sure what gender actually is, but dressing femme and being called a girl sounded nice so we went with that.

Not trans, just think ya'll are neat and funny and such, fun to derp around with.

Had a feeling I related more to girls at school, at some undefined level.

Then when I was 16 I panicked while playing as Zoey in Left 4 Dead because I realized I should have been a girl, but I wasnt and I didnt know what trans meant so I threw those feelings back into the box of things to ignore.

Then 10 years later I found r/egg_irl, yay!

through the last of my high school years I just began to feel like shit, very depressed. couldn't put a reason to why or how, so I never got help for it. my thoughts became dangerous but I couldn't just... leave I had people that needed me and loved me too much for that. but still... it never changed the fact that I felt like I was living in third person.

traditional "guy" friendships were ones I never understood. I always had an easier time talking with girls my age, and especially when I clarified that I was aroace. I'm lucky that barrier could be broken from the get-go, but I still didn't feel complete.

in the mirror, I never saw a person that I actually loved. no matter what I wore or how I styled my facial/head hair, I was always doing it for someone else. I was trying to emulate what should've looked good, not what made me feel good.

seeing the hatred around trans people sprouting up around the U.S., I never understood it. my logic was, if they aren't hurting anyone, why is it an issue? and also being glad I wasn't being subjected to that hate. still... seeing other MTFs... no. that can't be me. I wouldn't even look good as a girl. I already look too masc. where would I start? that would uproot everything in my life. there's too much to lose...

I put up a good (bad?) fight. I suppressed those thoughts for nearly three years. nonetheless, two months after I turned 18, I was up far too late in the night and I tried on some different clothes. from there, it all came crashing down.

and now here I am. shaky, but sure of myself.

:3

There were very small hints in my childhood and middle & high school, but the first real crack didn't happen until my 3rd year in college.
I finished a round of beer pong at a party. I was taking a sip of the purple drank when shaking hands with the opponent. They shook harder than anticipated and I spilt it on my white shirt. A lady friend saw the spill and offered me her black, long sleeve, form fitting shirt. I accepted.
I proceeded to receive several compliments from others at the party which I wasn't expecting, but it made me feel good. I eventually went home in that shirt (I returned it to her later that week) and when I looked in the mirror I finally saw why I was getting all of those compliments. And I agreed with them.
I then slowly experimented with more fem clothing over the years (I was in a very conservative family and town which severely hampered my progress) and the more fem I went the happier I felt about myself. Before when I'd look in the mirror as a guy I'd just think, "That's me." Nothing negative, but nothing positive. But with fem clothing I actually felt happy with what I saw staring back at me.
I didn't really see myself as trans yet; more a non binary/gender fluid. It wasn't until I finally tried E and saw what it did for me that I finally realized and accepted that I'm trans. And now I really like looking at myself in the mirror and get happy at what I see looking back at me.
I still use they/them, but I'm sure I'll eventually switch to she/her. I also won't stop anyone from using she/her when referring to me.

Figured it out back in the 90's and went into denial while I lived in envy of trans women for another 20 years.

I had biochemical dysphoria, but not so much physical or societal dysphoria. So I thought I was just really depressed and angry, but there were enough other signs that I decided to take a closer look. I decided to go ahead and take estrogen and I got my confirmation after a couple of weeks of that when I just stopped being depressed and angry.

I could easily have spent the rest of my life not connecting the dots, if it weren't for the trans community on Lemmy. I would often come across the egg irl memes and eventually it just clicked.

I was 36 and saw a random Discord message talking about how they "were male due to momentum" and said to myself "hey that's me!" By the time I had finished that thought I was ready to slam my head through my door, how could I have been so blind? So within a week I had checked the info I needed and ordered gel and started my journey. It's been a few years now and I'm happier and healthier than ever, really just wish I had started earlier, but oh well.

I fell in love with a trans girl while presenting as a female character on the Internet. She knew who I was and I said "I'm just exploring things, I'm totally different". I was not different and that started some serious soul searching with everything from religion to family to gender

I watched too much f1nn5ter and Vlad LOL

I knew I was nonbinary but then I decided I wanted to transition and felt like the term trans fits me as well, I sorta picked up the term because I feel like it describes what I already knew :3

Well, I became obsessed with yuri fan art and felt sad I could never be in a sapphic relationship, which somehow wasn't enough to realize.

Then I cried when watching a video of a male YouTuber coming out as gay and couldn't figure out why.

Then PhilosophyTube (before they came out as trans) explained what being transgender was with clam chowder.

And finally that PhilosophyTube video led me to Contrapoints which was the final nail in the coffin.

It's weird, it's not like I never heard of the concept of trans people before, but it just felt like any attempt I made to explore those feelings were immediately suppressed by my brain until it was presented in video essay format.

I didn't figure it out until I was an adult. I knew something was going on, but I thought it's just something to do with me being ace. I knew transfolks existed, but I didn't think I was one, since I didn't see myself as a man nor a woman (which should have been a big hint in itself but hey). Then I found out that not having gender is a real possibility and immediately knew what I was, and transitioned after few years. Having words for things is incredibly important

I discovered Lemmy and as yall might know queer posts aren't exactly hard to come by when looking at All. Especially trans posts (and their comments!) gave me super comfy feelings. The cis urge to get addicted to trans memes™! It sparked some interest on the subject. 1-2 months in I randomly asked a younger coworker what the right term for non-transgender people was. Ofc "cis", but that confused me, because I internalized "cis" as referring to sex (non-transsexual), not gender identity. It was at this moment, that I realized ~~I was an idiot~~ I had an outdated understanding of gender and had some reflecting to do. Though I could've given dictionary definitions, I haven't internalized them. The next hours, despite attempts of denial, realization hit and I burst out into tears of joy and confusion, my web of illusions and self-betrayal tearing apart. It was awkward crying on a 3h train ride, though, as strangers got worried about me.

As @Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone mentioned, the importance of trans memes (and the angels posting them) shouldn't be underestimated. I am truly thankful for your services! Remind me to send @TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone some cookies. You too, @Quokka@quokk.au, whenever Anubis doesn't break loading images (not too sure if that's still an issue).