this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
349 points (97.0% liked)

People Twitter

9959 readers
1217 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician. Archive.is the best way.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SomeRandomNoob@discuss.tchncs.de 69 points 1 week ago (24 children)

The weed pipe needs some cleaning and the condoms should only be unpacked directly before use. Other than that, seems good to me.

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Resonated bowls prevent scooby snacks. If it ain't water filtered keep it dirty

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Clean your nasty ass bowl and get a pipe screen. They're like 10 cents

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (23 replies)
[–] derry@midwest.social 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

05/05/2026, is this a date?

Picture of dates Is this a date?

[–] SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you don’t put your dares in ISO 8601 format, how will the reader know if you mean May fifth, 2026, or the fifth of May, 2026?

[–] derry@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

Chose your own adventure! 😀

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 24 points 1 week ago

Keep the condoms wrapped and don't put them with the food, but I don't know if I'd want to date someone who didn't see the love put into this.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This looks like quentin tarantino made a charcuterie

[–] AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Bubs12@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That’s what the Brie is for

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] moseschrute@piefed.social 14 points 1 week ago

Ewww who put cheese on my condom board

[–] wieson@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I will always be weirded out by Us-americans and Canadians serving a charcuterie board and a cheese platter with CRACKERS instead of different varieties of bread.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Y'all do breads instead of crackers? Neat

[–] mech@feddit.org 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I wouldn't want US-American bread on my charcuterie board.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Do you think all bread in America is Wonder bread? Bakeries exist here. In fact, they're even in nearly every supermarket

[–] mech@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I lived in America for a year and the nearest real bakery was a 2 hour drive. Food deserts are real.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

There is some bread, it's between the nuggets and the rainbow jelly snakes.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] waigl@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Could be funnier if the resolution was high enough to actually recognize everything. As it is, for some of these, I can only guess.

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago

Appetizer condoms are a new one for me lmao

[–] waigl@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can't tell if the stuff between the yellow cheese and the bacon and chicken nuggets is raisins or coffee beans.

[–] ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I thought capers at first, but I think its coffee beans.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The weed to snacks ratio is way off. Needs more snacks

[–] GripenGal@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

It will be balanced with appetite suppression from stimulants there.

[–] LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

I remember the last time i did my lines like that. Accidentally railed that pile next to said lines.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

sour gummy worms.

[–] thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

I don’t see any grapes

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I'm confused by this. Do you smoke the weed, then snort the blow, then shag, then eat, then slam the shots? Or do you shag first and then eat and then do the drugs? So many possibilities.

[–] Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

whatever you want really. that's the fun of shark coochie boards

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Personally I'd go weed, candy, fuck, shots, rest of the food, blow for maximum enjoyment

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

She can fix me

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

Yes, I'm sold!

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know if the gummy worms or tthe crackpipe confuses me moar

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If the penis shaped thing isn't a date then no

[–] thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›