Am I a joke to you?
this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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"Try pointy stick."
"Me no want to."
gets stabbed by pointy stick
"Me now see value of pointy stick."
And my axe!
But that would be a stabby stick. A pointy stick is to point at stuff.
What’s brown and sticky?
Tap for spoiler
A stick!
People think we won because of our big brains or fire use, no, it's cause we have the only halfway decent ranged ability in the game.
We broke the assumption that billions of years of evolution was built on, distance = safety.
I threw a pinecone at a bird that was picking at the siding. Seemed to break his brain to see something coming at him like that.
you: throws pinecone at mach 30
birb: is-is that a.... squints
birb: GAH! FUCK!!!
When apes learned to sharpen sticks, every other animal was FUUUUUUUUUCKED. Those animals should try not to be so stupid though. Dogs and cats are smart. They joined our side.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocene_extinction
Going strong for over 30,000 years.
Dogs and cats are smart. They joined our side.
Dogs and cats are half the fucking problem.
Explain.
A recent study by the Smithsonian Institution and the US Fish and Wildlife Service estimated that domestic cats kill about 2.4 billion birds and 12.3 billion small mammals each year in the lower forty-eight states. This is far higher—and probably more accurate–than previous figures, and likely exceeds all other sources of human-related losses of these animals.
I'm not sure we are in the same conversation, brother. I said that cats benefited from befriending humanity. You seem to be posting statistics that argue in my favor.
I said that cats benefited from befriending humanity
Absolutely. And I added that they're a primary agent by which humans propagate the Holocene Extinction.
Like, we wouldn't be nearly as successful at killing so many small mammals and insects if we weren't bringing domesticated cats with us all over the world.
I see what you're saying.
We didn't bring cats anywhere though, they came on their on volition. They do what they want. Dogs are just happy to be anywhere.
We didn’t bring cats anywhere though
:-/
A House Cat Was Brought To A Remote Island In 1894—A Year Later A Species Was Extinct
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Humans made dogs!
Dexterity exploit speedrun.
Monkeys can and do throw things that are much smellier than rocks.
Trivia time: Chimpanzees are the best primates after man at throwing.
At best they can throw things at the level of semi-athletic child.
Humans have unique rotating shoulder joint that just gives us a huge edge over any other species, when it comes to throwing things.
Yes, this, it's sapiens adaptation/specialisation, we take it for granted. Much like (related) stick use dexterity, which is another warfare advancement that should've gotten nerfed a few million years ago.
Don't forget sharp stick! Sharp stick game changer
I give you vine to attach to end of pointy stick, make you sling pointy stick much faster.
Can’t overlook banging rocks together to get a sharper rock. Big tech, invest now!
It is funny how until the invention of ~~fire ants~~ firearms, almost always the best weapon was a pointy stick.
Then firearms happen and we learned to throw the stick very quickly.
Fire ants are also a viable biological weapon, knew a guy who had a nest of the things thrown at him. Poor bastard had to take an alcohol bath to get them all off.
Who threw them and when? If it was an angry little half-Indian girl circa 1989, my wife is going to be deeply satisfied.
Nah it was back in the early 2010s and it was done by some dude in my class who promptly had the piss beaten out of him the next day, he changed schools the following week because the fire ant thing was a low blow and everyone ignored, was hostile, or in my case I snuck laxatives into his drink because nobody would snitch on me for it.
At summer camp when I was like 8 a camper stood in a fire ant nest without realizing it and had bites ALL up and down her legs. I remember a couple of older kids hauling her to the counselors while she was just screaming, crying and unable to walk from the pain. Watch out for fire ant nests, they will fuck you up!
We won the arms race, we have literal arms
The white, African man learned to throw rocks. Yeah...
Idk, kinda looks like a neanderthal doesn't it? Big brow, big nose, flat head.
It’s a Neanderthal according to reverse image searches for the original illustration. There were light skinned Neanderthals in Europe, so it’s not an inaccurate illustration, just an inaccurate caption
Perhaps a bit inaccurate image use with that description as well.
Yeah, that’s what I was trying to say in terms of the caption being inaccurate
Oh, yes, that's clear actually, no idea why I thought I was adding to the convo, lol.
Also cuts his hair and beard
"Saying a big hello to all you sentient lifeforms out there and for everyone else the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys!"
We didn't even need to throw a rock. There's evidence that early man was a persistence hunter.
All other animals sprint. But man is the only animal that could jog them to death by jogging and never stopping until the animal collapses from exhaustion.
In addition to the ability to jog, run and walk during the hottest part of the day ... early humans could avoid most predators who were less capable of being active in the heat. The benefits of being a hairless sweaty upright ape.
Op skin (that does need some high tech maintenance in form of clothes, and other winter logistics/planning).
And not just throw rock, also run very long distance.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but fucking fire was what broke my home.
Then man learned to fly. Then man learned to drop suns from the sky.
Oop, looks like I just learned to hoy this fucking rock with some woven vines over much greater distances! I am clearly your god.
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