At any age you are, there is a difference between the age you feel and the age your peers look to you.

If you dont spend time around a variety of people you are unlikely to readjust your mental image of what the age you feel looks like.

How many new people do you spend time with on a regular basis.

How do you spend your time?

When we are younger we are constantly put into a situation where you are surrounded by people your own age that you see every week multiple times(typically school and other group based hobbies like sports) but also people who are 1 to 5 years your junior and senior who you may not talk with much but they are still a part of what you encounter all the time.

As you get older this environment shifts. Post highschool students start to see their classmates diversify in age. They are still your peers but age isnt no longer (as much) the defining factor of who you will engage with and work with, but its usually not suddenly all your classmates are now more than a few years older or younger than you.

This starts to expand but also stunt your change in what your perceptionnof what you see around you and who you see as a reflection of what people your age look like.

And those who dont continue education are typically just entering a workforce and now have a lot less people like them around them. Age at work places are much more varied, but its also different depending on the field you work in.

Life starts to get weird in your 20s because its not the same as your experience of the people you see as your own age(among other things).

But we also typically have stopped growing taller by this point. Which i think adds a lot.

So when you as a 20 something now start getting to know people who could be or almost be your parents you have been trained to recognize age as a qualifier, and at 14 you probably should see age as a good indicator of people who are likely to be people you can relate to.

Its easier to see differences than similarities. They jump out at you. Like boiling a frog you dont know that things are changing so you dont react the same way as if you are suddenly hit with it.

Of course this isnt everyones experience, but it does happen enough that its worth giving some thought to.

Physical attraction is a tingling of the spine. It's basically relying on the animal in all of us. Not that it's inherently a bad or good thing, it's just a fact. I believe "young, dumb and full of cum" is the phrase, that or the misnomer: "you can't fuck a great personality", exclaimed by probably many a young boy who want to "spread their seed". All of these terms speak to a time when hormones were raging and the cup filleth over, when self discipline needs to be taught so that the young minds don't run amok.

But the fact is, you can fuck a great personality. Emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, or even spiritual attraction, often gets overlooked - especially in the younger years. It's something that becomes more important as your grown older.

The act of physical intimacy however is exactly that, intimate. It's a matter of trust, communication, a melding of minds and bodies, something that knows no age. Attraction can be based on several factors, physical attractiveness being only one of them, and can be the way you focus on cultivating your emotions to not prioritize physical attractiveness as much. This is hard in the world we live in, as beauty standards and vanity run rampant.

After all this I'd have to say yes, your grandparents might be fucking - like right now. Give your grandad a cockblock call, and I think his fist might be attracted to your face. At least that never changes.

Yeah. Don’t worry. Everything is gonna be irie. When you’re eighty there’s gonna be some sweet seventy six year old that’ll catch your eye. It’s how it is.

I have heard that you should divide by two and add 7.

I am 40, so that would mean I should be attracted to 27 year olds and up. Generally, it checks out. Caveats may apply, as people are, you know, different.

Eventually looks are going to be the least important component of attraction. It will continue to be about emotionality and familiarity. Young adults are going to feel less and less relatable and therefore less and less attractive.

Really I'm grateful for anyone who gives me the time of day.

When I was a teenager, the people who are my age now seemed really old and because of that there was no attraction.

Now when I see a grey hair, or a new wrinkle on my partner it's the hottest thing. We connect with each other about real life, she knows me well and helps me center myself.

I too hope that feeling continues to 60 years old and beyond, and I have a growing suspicion that it will so long as we both continue to work on staying healthy and attractive.