There are three other British gentlemen who would beg to differ.
this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Snails would disagree.
Once upon a time, there was a snail who was tired of being slow.
He went out and bought a fast sports car, had a custom paint job done with an 'S' on the hood, and installed a spoiler to make it go faster.
Everywhere the snail went, people would comment on his amazing car. He felt pretty good about it until one day, while stopped at a traffic light, a little old lady walked up and said, "That's a nice car, young man. But what's the 'S' for?".
The snail smiled and replied, "Well, you see, when people see me zipping past them, they say, 'Look at that S-car-go!'".
chirp chirp ^thank^ ^you^ ^though^ ^I^ ^laughed^
Edit: I tried for so long to get superscript text and I cannot get either my client to cooperate, or I just have no idea what I’m doing. Oh well.
^chirp^ ^chirp^
markup
*^chirp^ ^chirp^*
Oh, I see. It’s per word. Thank you.
why did this hurt so much? lol
If you remove a snail's shell, you'd think they'd be faster because of the reduced weight. However, they actually become slower.
That's because when you remove their shell, they become a bit more slug-ish!
Synthesis: snails are cars
snails are more hovercraft tbh
I love the toilet seat on the one in the background. When you don't give a fuck, anywhere can be a toilet!
That was one of their best specials
I believe in speed and power, and then I get stuck in the mud