I like it, but it’s even worse than that as I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists or trap me inside and burn my body into dust.
this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
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iiiiiiitttttttttttt
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you know the computer thing is it plugged in?
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Don't worry. HP is working on this for their next firmware update.
Haha of course they are. Fucking HP.
"your HP subscription is about to expire, would you like to renew it? BTW, that's a nice house you've got there, it would be a shame if something were to happened to it."
That's not from lack of desire, but ability.
Man, imagine a printer with arms. You’re not surviving the night.
The spirit is willing, but the cord is short.
There was a bug in HP printers that let people remotely set them on fire.
No, see, we only call it a bug if it isn't meant to be in the software. In this case, it's a feature.
While telling you it can't open the door because it's out of magenta.
In the early 2000s my hp printer had a paper jam and the error message from cups was “printer on fire!”
I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists
But I suspect it would if it could.
I've never had any problems with my Tesla 3. I wouldn't buy another because Musk, of course. But the car's been solid.
Same, we bought one before Musk went mask off. We're closing on 180,000 KM and have only needed to replace the upper control arms, which was covered by warranty.
Same here. The only maintenance has been tires, windshield washer fluid and cabin air filter for the last 5 years. I also won't buy another one as long as Musk is there. Last year we were in the market for a second car and if it was about tech specs alone, a used base model 3 would be the best, but we bought a BMW instead. Fuck Musk, but the car is a pleasure to own.
You're lucky, then, I think. My nephew's 3 never got right. After a year of ownership they finally agreed to take it back, mostly to avoid a lawsuit, I think.
The fit and finish was also pretty atrocious, but I reckon most people don't really notice.
Not bothered by the safety issues?
I learned how to use the door knobs, if that's what you mean?
Still have to pay a subscription for heated seats or whatever, right?
That was BMW, actually. Not Tesla
Not even that, BMW allowed to get it as an option (never removed the possibility of buying it out right). However this is the internet, there's no room for nuance.
They charge for premium network connectivity. It's $10/month to make use of if the LTE radio in the car for connecting directly to streaming services without your phone, live camera feeds in your cell phone app, and some extra map stuff. You still get eight years of basic navigation and updates if you don't pay for it.
The heated seats thing was BMW, which they back tracked on
You lose gps after 8 years?
I doubt you lose the GPS connection, but you lose the network connection to make the mapping and navigation work. About like navigating with your phone without cell service
tries to start car; gets warning on dash
"low on cyan"
Automotive CMYK
Cyan: Washer fluid
Magenta: ATF
Yellow: Coolant
Key: Engine oil
Photo Key: diff oil
So then it won't start at all, even though you're only trying to drive on a black and white road and cyan wouldn't be anywhere involved...ugh!
As someone who works with printers for a living this is insulting to the printers.
Oh, Brother!
Tap for spoiler
Get it?
And it being a Nazi brand.
TBF so is IBM (actual Nazis, not just fascist fanboys).
No shit? Like historically or up through the modern era or newly so or what?
Historically. IBM provided tech and expertise facilitating the holocaust.
I was considering if I should work for IBM. Maybe I need to do a little reading on that, any sources you recommend?
Edwin Black's book IBM and the Holocaust is the principle source. IBM denies this accounting but I found Black's case compelling and his book cites primary sources in the form of Nazi documents and eyewitnesses in Poland.
Thanks, I'll check it out soon. Appreciate every little new bit of knowledge in this sick world.
Unless your printer is brother. Then I wish my car was like my printer.
The car equivalent of a brother printer is a mid 90s to early 10s Toyota.
As a happy owner of a Brother printer, can confirm. The worst thing I can think about my printer is that its menus are in Spanish.
You wouldn't download a printer
Don’t you dare slander my printer so
Right? If I want to print something it'll print.
If I want to drive a Tesla, I don't want it to call for the genocide of Jews.
As a Tesla owner: 💯
I always compare them to Apple products because I hate Apple products.
Also, it locks you inside and starts on fire.
Thats one of the few things I like about it.
Does a Tesla work better when you give it a sharp slap on the side? A little percussive calibration?
Can I offer a little percussive calibration to Musk? Just a sharp slap on the side of his head?