Imagine if that was one long spaghetti and you could just suck the whole thing without chewing.
this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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You're so unbelievably wrong, and let me explain why in this comment.
There is no physical way to efficiently and effectively cook a single spaghetti noodle, as no commercial cookware would accommodate such a noodle.
Furthermore, removing the noodle and placing it in a plate without the gargantuan noodle separating into smaller noodles, due to weight and lateral shearing, would be unheard of due to the physics of the gravity of the world's... physics.
Here I have included a link to my sources to you can educate yourself, you silly silly SILLY goose
How about a fresh (as in not dried) spaghetti noodle that's passed directly from the extrusion, through a trough of boiling water with a conveyor belt to move it along and support the weight, then direct to the plate?
Well that would be fantastic, if not for Article 128 of the Costituzione Della Repubblica Italiana; as this states no pasta may be cooked directly from extrusion, except in the circumstances of impending death, as laid out in Article 110. So you may certainly try such a procedure, but you risk becoming an international criminal.
I've looked at it from every angle, as I am certified the best master debater.
We were going to do that, but it was deemed to be dark magick too powerful to unleash on this plane. We instead focus on room temperature superconductor research.
I don't even think you'd need a special pot. A fresh noodle into enough water you can provide gentle agitation without whacking the noodle excessively, slide it out the pot into a colander, and then again gently slide onto plate. If you want more even saucing, I'd go from colander back into a pot with some sauce on bottom, then pour more sauce over top, and out to plate to get a more even coating without having to pull the noodle through sauce. You could even hand form the noodle with a bit of work. Roll noodle dough into a sheet and make alternating cuts like this and then smooth out the bends.
To me, the real trouble with a long noodle is: then what? Would you slurp a 100 ft noodle in one go, stopping for breaths?
He said spaghetti not noodle tho
They have really long noodle cafes in China where they regularly serve noodles in the 20 meter range. In fact, China even has the world record.
Incredible, you have bested me at my own game. The link you provided is relevant and interesting, the information is concise and factual, and you used metric instead of imperial (the more intellectual measurement system)
Thank you for freeing me from my role as professional Internet debater.
I'm free^eee^^^eee^^
adjusts fedora
I think you’re giving a bit too much credit here. The link may have been relevant, but that doesn’t automatically make the argument complete or correct—concise information can still omit important context or nuance.
Also, calling metric the “more intellectual” system is more of a preference than an objective truth. Both systems have their uses depending on context, and framing one as inherently superior doesn’t really strengthen the discussion.
And as for being “free,” stepping away from one debate doesn’t really mean you’ve escaped the role—you’re still engaging, just from a different angle. That pull to argue and evaluate doesn’t disappear that easily.
Oh yeah? Well... ur mom
😎
(im sorry)
You're right, i should inspire to be more like my mother, thank you, you have helped me see the error of my way
Is what i would like to say, but sadly this is the Internet so instead i am forced to say "no u" 😞
adjusts tweed cap
Got any sources there bud, or you just trying to speak facts into existence? I think Kant would like to have a word about your philosophy of "freedom". I won't go into anymore detail though...
This is my favorite comment.
Conveyors brah
I am DEEPLY saddened that this isn’t a rickroll
Long pot of water would do it
Show me this long pot, I must see
You absolute fool! You think you can just link a source to prove your point, and nobody would actually read it?
Your source speaks nothing of the shearing forces of cooked spaghetti noodles... it's a paper about lentil-fortified pasta and it's nutritional gain vs change in texture
Zero to do with the ability to cook one very long noodle. In fact, it absolutely can be done, with a conventional pot of boiling water and making sure it's al dente. My source for your learning pleasure. Now who's the silly silly goose‽
Oh no, I've been found out-
Hol up
*one long spaghetto
A true man of science
Don't you just hate it when you do tons of research to prove someone wrong, but it turns out they were right?
My research shows you are wrong.
i didnt get a PhD in order to not be able to argue with online strangers....
Yep, not everyone is an armchair whatever. Some of us have specific knowledge in certain areas (through hard work) and like to counter misinformation.
Still get called armchair so and so's though...
Main problem being anyone can pretend to be anything. It's why I leave my profession out of my comments and always link to sources. Not that it helps much
Yes well I agree, my knowledge in my field isn't something I came up with, but it does allow me to point towards that knowledge so others may learn.
Priorities suddenly become crystal clear when it’s about winning an argument 😂
Before the Internet, your argument would just be wrong or uninformed and you wouldn’t know what the answer was supposed to be.
You just had to wait for the library to open, check the card catalog for relevant keywords, and hope they had a book on the topic!
My wife and I were watching a really old The Price is Right recently, and they didn’t know what one of the words of the prize name meant. I don’t remember what the word was now as it was specific to that artist, it was a type of lithograph. But they kind of shrugged their shoulders and moved on. Then like 30 minutes later in the show they were like oh hey, we called this professor at UCLA and asked what this meant and it’s a type of lithograph. I remember my wife and I were just like holy crap the days before the Internet…
Hey at least you guys all have fact checkers in your pockets now lol
Imagine what this was like when we had to go to the library and find a book to prove them wrong lmao
You're hair getting grey during your search from the stress is real.
Funny because you can't do the research to figure out why you are lazy and what would allow you to achieve your goals.
It's called "executive dysfunction" and it doesn't make you lazy.
Yeah, when I have to do long terms of intense comprehensive study I have to be in an ergonomic position and it's important to keep your blood sugar up so you don't feel lethargic.
Lmao this format is elite. I hope spaghetman overtakes angry chip dude (remote man, not ruffles zoom call)
For the things that motivate me to do this, been thinking that what I should do is start a blog, grab the offending comment and rephrase it as something more generalized, and then debunk it in my own blog posts. Just do not have the energy to get tied up in comment threads that are pointless anymore.