249
Latest kernel update broke my heart, literally.
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
249 points (98.4% liked)
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You should start charging them a subscription not to terminate their heart
But can you play Doom?
Don't forget to oveclock it so you get more performance
We can boost it up to a full 2 hertz even!
.Debfibrillator
Wrong community. This is for c/selfhosting.
The year is 2027. Police bust your door down and cuff you. Your pacemaker took part in a ddos attack on the gov servers
It also doesn't have age verification and the patient lives in California.
and it's running a bleeding edge build of systemd.
i get the joke but the pacemaker's mostly just a battery. it doesn't have much more radio than the magnetic/wireless charger your phone uses. very, very short range, no wifi at all. it's the other implants that the pace powers you have to worry about.
This needs to be disrupted. I bring pacemaker as a service, fully connected, for a small monthly upfront fee you can enjoy the latest in pacemakers, the iβ€οΈ.
iβ€οΈ, a beat into the future.
if anyone actually decides to do this, i will literally beat them to a bloody pulp with my cane. yes this is an actionable threat come get me i will get you
[mods if you are going to allow jokes about that kind of unspeakable violence against the disabled you have to let the disabled vent about those jokes. fuck you]
DON'T BRICK THE DEVICE!!!
Easy to retrieve and reuse once done
Does it run Doom?
I have never had an original thought. And I'm 8 hours late.
Doomfibulator
Thereβs going to be a Skyrim release in about a week. The patient will wake up in the back of a creaking wagon.
If it does, you should probably go to the E.R.
Yes, but the heartbeat will be synced to the gameplay.
And when you die, you really die.
Not if you hack the matrix
The pizza box laptop is still goated, IMHO.
"How's the driver of the electrodes' GPIO, Doc?"
"Probably won't fit in flash with the kernel and Apache. But I could rewire the electrodes to UART instead, that seems more practical than interfacing with that weird pulse generator."