Asklemmy

I know compliments we've received aren't necessarily the answer, but it's hard to think of anything that could top when a former coworker had a baby and told me, "I hope she grows up to be just like you."

"That is a good idea, we should do that". Rather than being ignored, it all go to shit, and then but told my idea was probably the right one when there is no longer a way to do what I suggested in the first place.

This happens WAY too often. I spend a lot of time ready for smug mode. This is at my job (guess what field) and at home.

A friend once texted me that she really liked my writing and said "It sounds like you", with "sounds" italicized. It was like she was just focusing on my writing and hadn't even thought through that using "like you" as unambiguously complimentary is a bigger compliment towards me than towards my writing.

I see how hard you're trying

you're really not a cunt like i initially thought

My neighbour once told me haha

“You’re someone I look up to.”

My brother has said “you’re someone I’ve always looked up to” and I was taken aback. We’re an action vs. telling type of family, one that does not give compliments lightly. It was the sweetest thing to hear.

"nice dick bro"

My dad told me long ago when I was in high school, and I quote, "You are the most cold, calculating person I know" and that still makes me smile when I think about it.

"I shall not bullshit you with compliments." and have it be true.

Not a specific one compliment, but noticing something about who I am at all times is the kind of compliment that is the best

A compliment on something I made. A story I wrote, a meal I made, a piece of furniture I built, etc. I've received compliments on all of those, and yes, I feel proud of myself because of the compliment.

I've also received compliments on my appearance, my kindness, and my thoughtfulness, but those things just seem like a part of who I am, not something I've worked on. I wasn't ugly, unkind, or thoughtless before, it doesn't take any extra effort or thought. I haven't done anything, I didn't make anything that wasn't there before.

Compliments on my writing are the most satisfying, because there was nothing on the page when I started and now there is a story completely of my own making (no AI, either).

My daughter just said it yesterday.

"My classmate really like you. They think you're cool and layed back."

Kind of depends on the situation. The compliment I'd want most is vastly different coming from a boss or coworker, or a child, my parents, a friend or a lover.

But in general something tied to reality works best, when I've done something recently that ties into the praise. That goes both for practical stuff like how creatively or well I did a work task or built a table, and more personal/interpersonal stuff like how kind or insightful I've been when listening and giving advice to a troubled friend.

Probably an old friend reaching out and saying I miss you. That someone would have me on their mind enough to reach out would be validating. Ever since I had a child I don't have the resources to pursue my own friendships anymore, but In a few years when the kids are a bit older, I hope to get back to having friends.

I'm not sure such a thing exists. Compliments are already awkward and uncomfortable or do absolutely nothing, which makes it awkward again as i need to pretend some over the top positive reaction.