No, unless they became a pedophile, serial killer, rapist or something extreme like that
this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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Or an influencer.
depends on what they do. theres 2 types, a rich influencer (the most common as most of them tend to come from upper middle class and beyond) and the "semi not come from money ones". if they produce greed slop likes of mr beast or become a uninformed political influencer than that would be a disappointment.
Being a pedophile isn't a choice, it's a psychological dysfunction. Acting on that impulse is a crime and something to be punished - or treated in a medical facility.
Thank you for saying that. I have worked with MAPs (minor attracted people), and majority of them do not want to offend, and understand they can never act on their desires. They were actively seeking treatment and felt suicidal because of their attraction.
Also I learned that about half (?) of sexual acts on minors aren't even done by people with pedophilia but because the victims seemed to be vulnerable - so less likely to fight back or tell someone.
I am not sure about the actual numbers, but what you describe absolutely happens, more often than people realize. These fucks go after vulnerable people.
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Yesterday I said to my son "I'm disappointed in you for not catching that fish" (he came so close to catching his target prize fish but it got away).
I felt pretty bad and didn't mean it one bit, I just said it the wrong way around because i was exhausted. Then I spent the next five minutes explaining that I'm absolutely not disappointed in him and that he is an awesome fisherman and that what i really meant to say was that I was disappointed FOR him that he didn't catch the fish that he had been trying so hard to catch for months.
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Hell no.
I would send him the following:
No, but I would say something like "I am very dissapointed in you for doing X". A kid can't change who they "are", but they can change what they "do".
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Bruh I'm an Asian son and I've been on the receiving end of these words 💀
if they were hateful. punching down types. maga. racists. yeah, yeah, I would.
I wouldn't call any child, as a human, a disappointment, but I believe there are some rare occasions where their actions should be framed as disappointing.
Label the action disappointing, explain the reasoning that led to that conclusion, and explain how it could affect the future for both the parents and the child. Communication is key, and also try to leave some room for the child to grow. The less often you call something disappointing, the more powerful it can be, and can be used as a way to seriously correct behavior.
If they were disappointing, maybe. Like I'm not gonna lie and say I'd love my kid even if they turned out to be a racist, sexist, nazi piece of shit. But I mean, I'd also be disappointed in myself for raising such a bastard.
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Yeah, if he came home spirting a maga hat or a Charlie Kirk t-shirt or something.
I’m raising my kid to be smart and to care about others. So really I’d be disappointed in myself for not being a better teacher.
His behavior yes. He lack of behavior yes. Never him.
He don't say it but I can see it in his eyes.
It's extremely hard to imagine but yeah there are lines.
I'd like to believe I wouldn't, but I'm a flawed man, and going crazy with my words is one of my big ones. Hopefully, God willing, I won't. I have become a much more considerate and softer person thanks to my wife, maybe that'll be enough.
This is some really heavy parenting. I hope I'd never have to, but if it was warranted it would be very important that it was actionable. I.e., I'm disappointed in you because you're doing [x] and you need to do [y]. It's my job as a parent in this situation to communicate why and how to do better.
If they were a triple Trumper, yes.
But in all seriousness, you're a disappointment sounds like a line from a movie, real life doesn't really do dialog like that.
real life doesn’t really do dialog like that.
It with great sadness that I report to you, that real life does, in fact, dialog in this exact fashion at times.
No, like others said I might point out his behavior is disappointing, but never him.
No.
I might, if what they did were severe enough, express that what they did is disappointing. But that's different from branding them with the iron of disappointment-as-identity. Everyone does stuff sometimes that is worse than they aspire to be. The trick is coming back from it, learning and growing and changing.
I remember how it felt the day I asked my mom, after she had hit me a bunch and screamed at me for stuff she made up about me, "what did I ever do to you to make you hate me this much?", and she screamed back "YOU WERE BORN!"
I was 12.
No kid should ever feel the hopelessness and abandonment I felt in that moment.
I wouldn't say that to anybody.
Fuck no
I can't imagine ever saying that.
Never. My son is a person I could never have imagined. I don’t see what relevance my expectations of him are to anyone or anything. I’m not sure I ever had any.
Why should I? Our children are not products we purchased or objects we crafted. They are new beings coming into the universe under our care but for a while.
You discharge that responsibility on their behalf. That’s it. Of course that means setting standards for them to meet, but even this discipline you do for their own sake. You don’t get expect them to be anything.
That’s negotiating with fate - about as pointless as negotiating with death.
Variation on the theme: would you ever tell your child “You weren’t worth it.”
OP assuming you are asking for a reason, my view after some time is that when a parent make a statements like that it reflects more about the parent than the child.
No, because I don’t want to find out what a true disappointment is
Yeah if they landed in jail and or did some heinous crime. But knowing me, I’d word it as “you disappointment me” instead. Like this is a moment in time and they can still change
No.
Some people really seem to get something out of hurting other people. My best guess is that its a learned coping mechanism. "I feel bad so im going to make you feel bad and your response might fix whatever i feel bad about".
The only appropriate response is that whoever said that is a disappointing human.
I wouldn't no. There's only afew things he could ever do to justify those words, and even then, what purpose would it serve?
If he turned out to be a cold psychopatic serial killer, I would.
No. "Being a disappointing," yes. "A disappointment," no.
The difference is one is a fixable behaviour, and the other is an identity.
No
Telling anyone they're a disappointment isn't helpful. Instead ,ask if they can do X or Y and express why you think its helpful.
Maybe if they were openly a bigot
No. That would imply belief in the kind of free will I don't think exists.
No.
I can't be disappointed when I didn't have any expectations
Yes, assuming they have disappointed me.
It's normal to express your emotions.
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My kid is a dream. I was an older Dad, and I worried about dealing with a teenager during my 50s, but he has always been level headed. We never had to deal with drug, alcohol, smoking, no pregnancy scares, nothing. He got great grades, really talented, a school leader without even trying. He could be a little lazy, I used to have to remind him that he couldn't be a slacker because his peers were watching him.
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