Autism

I refuse to cheat in exams unlike most of my peers, so I have been doing quiet poorly in academia

Having a sense of justice in this world is hell. Having injustice sensitivity as an autist is a whole other level.

I became infinitely vengeful against ads, usa, copyright and drm.

It has made me inordinately sensitive to systemic societal hypocrisies. Especially differences between how the genders are treated.

Like, yes, there are still a lot of issues with how women are treated that needs improvement. But holy hell, compare a serious problem that isn’t gender-specific - DV, homelessness, suicide, workplace deaths, even rape - and how that issue gets handled depending on the gender means the average man instantly becomes a second-class citizen behind any woman. Or worse - not even worth consideration in any capacity, despite men being either equally victimized or the majority of victims. Men are literally being treated as trash for the crime of having been born male.

And no, in general it’s not other men doing this to men. They are forced to look away and do nothing to help other men, or risk being accused of being “misogynists” themselves because helping male victims “takes resources/attention away from women in need”.

This is why, as one example, political support for so many men’s issues is absolutely radioactive and invariably terminates careers at the very next election. So nothing ever gets done, while the other side has help galore shovelled at them from all directions.

It’s why, despite fully supporting women’s rights, I call myself an egalitarianist. Because I am not a gender bigot. I fight for rights on both sides, because that is the dictionary definition of “equality”.

Currently trying not to fixate on the past too much but at every juncture it's been pivotal.
Core memories involve standing up to people more powerful than me whilst witnessing others pretend nothing is happening in order to preserve their sense of normalcy.

Trying to practice compassion for people who don't/ can't speak out for the sake of my own sanity and deeply fear being the kind of person who stays quiet.

I remember being told as a child I was too rigid in my thinking and now I'm just like HOW WAS THAT NOT A THING THAT YOU UNDERSTOOD MOTHER.

Oh right because she's still in denial and I'm almost 40.

It's makes memories cantankerous, sure does. Why are those kids allowed to be little shits, but if I all for x its treated like I'm being an asshat and deserve mocking? Bah. Bah fuck that.

Having a sense of justice and living in this unjust hellhole is a significant stressor and its chronic prevalence has had noticeable effects on my health.

I may have missed a few job opportunities by refusing to lie on my resumé or in the interview.

In hindsight, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed working for a company that expects people to lie to get the job.

On the plus side, my investments in renewable energy (home solar, battery, EV, etc) because of my refusal to pay fossil fuel companies has already paid for itself.

I literally didn't know that and it explains a lot about me.

i’d rather risk homelessness than take a job in health insurance if i was unemployed.

It's so relatable to me.

To be honest this strong sense o justice is killing me. There's no place for good people on our society, let's not talk about exceptions here, the modern world won't let you do something good and make a living out of it.

Everywhere I see I can only see greed, people after money, companies using people, everything working hard to satisfy our greed and need for convenience. While there are so many lives out there needing basic needs, we're exploiting animals to keep the humans living a overwhelmingly good life just to satisfy this endless need for dopamine.

I'm literally lost, 26 yo male and I live with my parents. I worked for 8 months in a software company and it was the worst time on my life. In a certain day they gave me a task to build some shit to calculate profits, something that highlights people that will be more acceptable to do business with and shit like that and I just panicked, I froze and my brain could only think "What the hell am I doing with my life? Why am I doing this? Why am I helping a company treat other people like cattle?", then I quit in the very same day.

Ok, you might say it's not a big deal this specific case, it was for me. I felt used, exploited.

The modern world is making me crazy, I'm needing medicines and going to therapy once a week, and I still can't handle it and get my shit together. Greed and selfishness everywhere you look at. Nobody wants genuinely take care of others.

Before you say "why don't you go volunteer or something", dude just tell me where and how and I go, I don't even need to be paid I just want basic food and somewhere to sleep, I don't want TV, I don't want games, I don't want movies, I don't want internet, I just want to feel that my actions will result in a better world for everybody, not only humans. But I live in a very small town in another country (not the great US), and opportunities here are limited.

Now I'm lost, I spent part of the money I got from all these 8 months buying trekking equipment, I think I'll just vanish from society, I can't stand people anymore, I'll try to live away from all this, near savage places, but also not too far from civilization and water (rivers etc...), I'm really just tired of all this bullshit. I'll try to live with minimum viable to keep me alive. When I need more resources I'll try to find some manual labor in nearby small towns just to restock, then go back to living on the roads, near nature and things like that. Away from humans.

If our society values just won't change I don't want to make part of it.

I went into politics because of that and am a strong advocate for union and workers rights. And lean up at work when some injustice happens

It was definitely a factor is me going from "vaguely right-wing because my parents are" to "democrats aren't left enough".

It made me realize that like 95% of the people around me are terrible people and that I live in a continuous internal conflict between what I know to be right and what I have to accept to be part of society.

It honestly sometimes makes me want to not be alive, but I try not to let it.

I'm a kinky furry with a habit of hyperfocusing on problems until they're solved, has difficulty challenging authority and whose sense of self worth depends on others.

So yeah... The past few years have been rough with everything in the world. I'm still limping on though.

Made me leave the church + religion of my youth when glaring hypocrisy or outright toxicity was hand-waved away by the people I'd been told I should look up to.

Definitely got beat up in school for being a teachers pet, and tattle tale...

Frankly, it hit me recently, growing up I’d notice things that didn’t feel right, and people would pass it off as me being young and naive, and I’d believe them, because why would a kid know better

Now flash forward to today, I’m pushing 30 and the same, if not worse feeling stuff happens and it’s like ohhh, I’ve learned, but I haven’t changed, I wasn’t wrong before

Well, it's made it difficult to find an industrial placement at uni. While many of my peers are going to be working for BlackRock, Leonardo, Boeing, or some AI-related company during third year, I'm probably going to be attending lectures. It's also made my workflow tricky, as I have a thousand (hyperbole) reasons why I won't use certain software or operating systems, which in turn means I have to reverse-engineer and self-teach slightly more of my degree than other students.

Also, I'm not sure if this is the strong sense of justice, increased empathy, a subconscious inability to detect sarcasm, or a combination thereof, but I also can't make jokes at people's expense when they don't deserve it (even if I know it would be okay). For example, I am a member of three student societies, one of which is a Formula Student team. There is wall-to-wall banter each time I go in and I always have a good laugh, but I feel as though I am physically incapable of making any jokes myself. I wouldn't even have to worry about going too far: most of the society is also autistic to some degree (and therefore able to understand), and any particularly edgy humour is always perpetuated by the members it's about (if that makes sense).

However, I also believe I have benefited somewhat from my sense of justice. I refuse to use AI in any capacity (even when we would be allowed for our work), due to the environmental and social consequences. I would say that having to actually understand what I'm doing is far better than the alternative -- meanwhile, most people I know are using Gemini to write their shellscripts.

mostly it's just annoying others by insisting on on the rules. other people seem to just bend the rules whenever they feel like it, and that can be a problem for me to accept.

Once quit a job on the spot after they asked me to write nuclear safety regulation documents that I did not feel remotely quality to write.