this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2026
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so yeah. i established a persona that wears whatever ages ago. the only relevant steps in my coming out (in my city) are therefore name and pronouns. it is horrific. i don't want to talk abt myself or be the topic of any discussion. i like the anonymity here. but these people know me.

i just turned off notifications and spammed a few group chats.

... guess i'll burn my phone.


update: i'll survive. i had a good, long and agitated walking-around-in-the-flat-while-crying, then had a peak into the messages. had 2 really cool chats with ppl i hadn't talked to for a long while. the rest is a lot of emoji noise. which is nice, but i don't know what to do with that. it's the nice ones.

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[–] TaterTot@piefed.social 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, I'm really proud of you. That took a lot of courage. There's no getting around the flood of emotions an feelings of panic that doing something like this will bring, you just have to wait it out. But remember, you told your friends. These are people who like and interact with you by choice. And just as I'm sure you would stand by them, they will stand by you.

Eat some food, drink some water, and know that everything will feel a bit better after a good nights sleep.

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 months ago

ty. i'm really super unhungry. but i'll make tea.

[–] Tywele@piefed.social 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The first few hours will be agony because of basically every thought rushing through your head but it will feel so liberating afterwards.

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

ok, no one thinks i am dumb for realising so late. (take that anxiety. you were wrong.)

one friend kept awkwardly quiet. that might be a problem? usually he lives in his phone. we'll see.

[–] Tywele@piefed.social 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your friends will have to process this as well, give them time :).

And it's never too late to realise that. I don't know how old you are but I came out like 1 month before my 31st birthday.

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

we are good. he probably just was with his new semi-regular grinder hook-up. ;)

[–] Tywele@piefed.social 3 points 2 months ago

Happy to hear that :)

[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago

Lol I had the exact same fear. Proud of you for telling everyone.

[–] WillowBe@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope everything will be fine. Wish you all best :3

[–] SatansDaughter@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It'll be fine. As long as you didn't pick some really weird name, like Clematis.

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

not that, but there is a potential for calling me pretentious, if i decided, to put the long version in my passport. :)

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Truth be told, I'm not out to anyone beyond my partner and a couple of friends, and I haven't picked a name. Im sure whatever you picked will be great! After all, you wouldn't have picked it if it didn't seem right.

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 months ago

i am now pretty much stuck with it (the short form) there is no way i am doing this again, ever. at least no the public anouncement.

i might come back to having a goth nsme. "hi, i'm misery, glad to meet you." :)

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this video rules

i'm definitely not the first to share, but its always fun to watch

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago

argh! should've picked: małgorzata brzęczyszczykiewić :))

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago

hell yeah!! i hope your friends treat you with the love and kindness you deserve :D