It would actually be a lot more efficient to go back a little further and help the English win the revolution. That ends slavery like 30 years earlier and your grandkids would end up with socialized medicine and a better national anthem.
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
86 points (100.0% liked)
NonCredibleDefense
538 readers
206 users here now
Militaria shitposting central! Post memes, tasteless jokes, and sexual cravings for military equipment and/or nuclear self-destruction!
Rules:
- Posts must abide by Piefed.social terms and conditions
- No racism or other bigotry allowed.
- Obviously nothing illegal.
If you see these please report them.
Related communities:
!forgottenweapons@lemmy.world
For the other, slightly less political NCD, !noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
founded 7 months ago
MODERATORS
That presumes the same course of history if the UK maintains its most profitable slaving colonies - what would become the US South.
For some reason, I suspect that abolitionism in the colonies may not be as desirable to British imperial policy in that case.
A) ALL time travel scenarios include such assumptions, including the one that I am replying to.
B) The British empire had more than one profitable slave colony, including at the time of abolition as it is.
-
The time travel scenario above includes no further assumptions resulting from the time travel. Helping the rebellion against slavery is its own cause.
-
I didn't say they didn't have other profitable slaving colonies, I said it would likely be different if their most profitable slaving colony remained an asset of the British Empire. Both in terms of proportional and absolute profit, the southern states outproduced all the rest of the British slaver holdings combined - and cotton was key in the burgeoning industries of the UK.
-
Stopping rich slave owners from establishing total control of an entire continent and the founding of a slave based economic system is its own cause.
-
On one hand we have the actual historical reality that the Britain (and even the US, eventually) banned slavery despite its profitability. On the other hand, we have your ass. I know which one I think is more likely to produce something that resembles a likely outcome.
- Stopping rich slave owners from establishing total control of an entire continent and the founding of a slave based economic system is its own cause.
You mean the slave-based economic system that predated independence? That was cultivated by the British Empire intentionally to alleviate the problem of white indentured servants making demands of British elites? The continent where the Brits were continuously expanding their holdings? That continent?
Fuck outta here with this infantile nationalist bullshit.
- On one hand we have the actual historical reality that the Britain (and even the US, eventually) banned slavery despite its profitability. On the other hand, we have your ass. I know which one I think is more likely to produce something that resembles a likely outcome.
"The UK probably would have taken longer to ban slavery if the profits were significantly greater and their industry (reliant on Southern cotton up to the 1860s) was reliant on them not banning slavery in their colonies"
"ur ass"
Sorry that you have such an amazing paucity of ability to analysis hypotheticals. I hope you improve someday.
23 more replies
Ooh, this is one of those arguments
Sir, this is non credible defense.
You're absolutely right, what was I thinking!?
In the true spirit of the comm, what I meant was "Correct, the British Empire would have brought civilization and humane treatment to the colonies just as it had everywhere else HM's rule prevailed, if it had just lasted a little longer" 🙏
That’s more like it. Everyone knows that more war leads to more peace, it’s just the way of things. Now back in yer tank and put the kettle on, lad, we’re not engaging the Navajo Light Atomic Brigade without a brew. Let’s make his/her maj proud.
Its funny how mad you are about someone not agreeing with your stupid take on a dumb meme.
"It's funny that you're dismissive about someone displaying a total inability to examine cause and effect or the actual origins of the systems condemned despite it explicitly being pointed out, something that will not be acknowledged so long as the possibility for masturbation over the British Empire remains"
Hilarious, even.
Its OK that you are butthurt that the whole world knows that your country is garbage. That must be rough for you.
My country is garbage. That has nothing to do with the discussion at hand.
No. It actually does.
If your cousin-fucking ancestors had died before they could produce an entire country fill of shit humans, the world would be a better place. That is the central premise of my argument. The people who created a country filled with people like you were not fit to run a country and that literally any alternative would have been better.
If your cousin-fucking ancestors had died before they could produce an entire country fill of shit humans, the world would be a better place. That is the central premise of my argument.
Ah, so your argument is based on eugenics. Unsurprising from a supporter of British imperialism.
I do find it amusing that a country made primarily of immigrants is being called "cousin-fuckers" by an insular island led by a family so inbred that it collapsed the entire European royal system.
The people who created a country filled with people like you were not fit to run a country and that literally any alternative would have been better.
This may come as a surprise to someone slobbering on Queen Victoria's scepter, but British imperialism has produced a great many fucked-up countries by the rampant genocide and exploitation it engaged in. Sorry that I don't agree that a longer period of British imperialism would have 'improved' the lowly colonials. Maybe you just needed to perform a few more genocides to keep the filthy Scotch-Irish mongrels in the colonies down.
You realize that the United States is the crowned champion of genocide, right? Like yeah, the British empire was a pretty horrible thing. So bad, that the only thing that most can agree was worse was what the Americans did to their own continent.
I mean, I don't really hold you responsible. You are the produce of six generations of inbreeding and the worst education system in the first world. Its not really your fault. Lets just pretend that every OTHER British colony didn't wind up better than the shithole you live in.
Dude, the British literally invented concentration camps to hold/remove the Bohrs. The Nazi's literally copied you to build theirs.
Not only that, the English have committed countless genocides over the centuries. Remember the Irish Potato Famine? What about the East India Company's actions in India? Where the fuck did the Bretons and Celts go?
I mean, I don't really hold you responsible. You are the produce of six generations of inbreeding and the worst education system
Again, you teatotallers have been stuck on an island for centuries, versus a country that's gotten constant influxes on immigrants for the past 300+ years. This "inbreeding" bullshit just makes you look like a complete tool.
Lets just pretend that every OTHER British colony didn't wind up better than the shithole you live in.
Ah, yes because India under Modi is so great. Or Pakistan. Let's also look at how Iraq turned out, even before the US-Iraqi War. And South Africa totally isn't in a constant state of being on the brink of a race war. And wasn't Iran one of the US's oldest allies before the British government bribed US politicians to betry them simply because BP wanted oil contracts?
You focussing on only Canada and Australia as examples shows how large your blinders are when it comes to how much damage the British Empire has done across the globe. You're trying to bash the US for what is ironically one of the largest displays of British Imperialism I've seen in modern times.
At least the US isn't the one to throw a giant temper tantrum over losing a colony and butchering their own language as a result. And no, I'm not kidding, parts of North Carolina have accents that are the closest to how colonial-era English was spoken. Your "pish-posh bo'le o' wa'er" bullshit is less than 200 years old, all because your inbred noble class wanted to distinguish themselves from the peasants before the peasants copied them anyways.
Dude, the British literally invented concentration camps to hold/remove the Bohrs. The Nazi’s literally copied you to build theirs.
No. Actually both the Nazis and the British copied the American model for genocide from their period of Westward expansion.
Also, you are aware that my argument isn't that "British colonialism is good" it is that "American self rule didn't work out great for Americans". You have an argument against what I actually said, or not?
Why is most of your response incoherent nonsense about accents? Are you having a stroke? Are you Trumps speech writer?
You realize that the United States is the crowned champion of genocide, right? Like yeah, the British empire was a pretty horrible thing. So bad, that the only thing that most can agree was worse was what the Americans did to their own continent.
This the same British Empire which caused 100 million deaths in India alone, which it only ruled for a relatively short period of the Empire's existence?
I mean, I don’t really hold you responsible. You are the produce of six generations of inbreeding and the worst education system in the first world. Its not really your fault. Lets just pretend that every OTHER British colony didn’t wind up better than the shithole you live in.
Wow. I did think the US public education system was bad, but if you think that the US is the worst-off of the British colonies, it's clear that whatever backwater part of the UK you're living in has it worse. You have my condolences.
I live in Canada. You know, the country founded at the same time as yours by the same people that managed to NOT be a complete pile of shit because it wasn't run by idiots like you.
I live in Canada. You know, the country founded at the same time as yours by the same people that managed to NOT be a complete pile of shit because it wasn’t run by idiots like you.
Consider my statement suitably amended to "Wow. I did think the US public education system was bad, but if you think that the US is the worst-off of the British colonies, it’s clear that whatever backwater part of Canada you’re living in has it worse. You have my condolences."
I mean, at least in US schools, we aren't taught to believe in eugenics and the humane and enlightening nature of British imperialism. You must have had some awfully old textbooks in your school, because I know Canada has left that narrative largely behind.
I also notice you ignored this.
This the same British Empire which caused 100 million deaths in India alone, which it only ruled for a relatively short period of the Empire’s existence?
What is funny about that is that India still exists and has people in it. What happened to the people that lived in your country before you got there? Do they teach you about that in schools?
What is funny about that is that India still exists and has people in it.
Ah, the old "Gray Wolf" line of "It couldn't be genocide because there are still Armenians left"
What happened to the people that lived in your country before you got there? Do they teach you about that in schools?
Jesus Christ.
What's worse?
Not knowing that Native Americans still exist in the USA?
Or this line coming from a Canadian without the slightest suggestion of awareness of how the First Nations were treated?
Yes, we are very much taught about the Native American genocides in the USA. I'm sorry you weren't taught about your own country's history with indigenous peoples.
Oh sorry, I forgot that Native Americans have their own country and a functioning economy. Is that what they teach you?
Oh sorry, I forgot that Native Americans have their own country and a functioning economy. Is that what they teach you?
Oh, in that case, I suppose the Nazis didn't commit genocide either. I mean, European Jews have their own country and a functioning economy. It's okay, so long as you leave a few alive! Truly in the spirit of all the finest genocidaires of history.
The USA still has Native Americans in it, just as India still has many of the peoples (plural, since it is quite apparent that your particular school education was lacking; India was not made of a generic ethnicity of "Indians") whom the Brits massacred in it.
I can't help but notice that you ignored the raised issue of the First Nations in Canada. Is that because you're ignorant, or is it because, as with your eugenics lines earlier, because you were taught to internalize a racist worldview?
What does the first nations of Canada have to do with comparing British Colonialism in India to American self-rule? Or have you forgotten that was YOUR argument?
India today is run by Indians. You can go visit, if they still let Americans in, and see for yourself. How many seats in congress do American Indians have?
So far you have defended slavery, the American genocide, and the American Education system as somehow being better than what the British did in India, despite the fact that the British left India half a century ago and your country is still actively fucking itself in the ass today.
Its amazing how easy it is to get you guys to defend your horrible history and present actions by suggesting that you could have just done literally anything else instead. No wonder your country is garbage.
What does the first nations of Canada have to do with comparing British Colonialism in India to American self-rule?
You're bashing the US for committing gebocide and minimizing everything the British Empire ever did, despite the Brits killing significantly more people. Then YOU brought Canada into it acting like it's got a squeaky-clean history and acting like the First Nations people have nothing to do with the conversation.
Go fucking look into how many mass graves of First Nations kids have been found near the Christian schools the Canadian government set up to "integrate" them, as if that forced process wasn't genocide in its own right, even if you ignored all the deaths. Not to mention that the Canadian government still refuses to acknowledge the deaths.
No. I am saying that British rule of the American Colonies was not worse than what those colonies did to themselves with independence. Is this REALLY too hard for you to follow?
What does the first nations of Canada have to do with comparing British Colonialism in India to American self-rule? Or have you forgotten that was YOUR argument?
Jesus Christ, do you not remember what was said? Have you forgotten the points you yourself brought up? Do I have to spoon-feed you our entire conversation up to this point?
India today is run by Indians.
Wow, I love that you completely ignored the point about British genocide and India not being made of a generic 'Indian' ethnicity who've survived. Peak reading comprehension. Keep this up, and your region of Canada might tie with Mississippi for public school quality.
So far you have defended slavery,
Fucking lmao.
"Opposing the British Empire is defending slavery!" - least braindead imperialist cretin
the American genocide,
What?
and the American Education system as somehow being better than what the British did in India,
Jesus Christ, is your reading comprehension really that poor?
... and for that matter, I think yes, the shitty American education system is still better than murdering 100 milliion people for imperial ambitions. I'm sorry that you prefer genocide.
Its amazing how easy it is to get you guys to defend your horrible history and present actions by suggesting that you could have just done literally anything else instead.
[low whistle]
Who else throughout history should be given time travel machine guns? I think Lin Zexu should have been armed to win the opium war he kicked off when he Boston tea partied the English drug shipment
Hannibal, the Carthaginian general. Give him like 100 AK-47s and 2 tons of ammo, plus 1 IKEA style manual on how to maintain the gun.
A world where Rome lost the punic wars would be so different it is hard to think about. I'm not sure if it would be better or worse. Iirc Carthage was less democratic but also less militaristic and more pluralistic. It could go either way imho.
Joining the war on drugs, AGAINST the side of drugs
Cutting edge in the 19th century! :p
Pretty unusual to see a war on drugs actually target the drug imports and not just criminalize the addicts . No surprise that Lin Zexu is a hero to the Fujonese people. I want to write a fan fic of him hooking up with the stars of heated rivalry so he can be a hero of the Fujoshi people as well.
If the top immediately started into a threesome they’d be more based.
please do not your grandmother
Well not these days because she’s been dead twenty years but she used to be hot as fuck.
Can confirm, SatansMagotyCumFart's grandmother was super hot