on the ground with a Surface to Air missile.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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Eh Buddy Hoser
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Take off ya hoser!
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I don't recognize most of these people, but I would sit at 6 just to not sit next to some dude. (I also like window seats.)
Also has the perk of being furthest away from Trump, who will most likely smell of shit 5 minutes in.
Such an easy 7 and then pretty much immediately get arrested for murder.
arrested for murder.
And/or celebrated as a hero.
Yes we're due for another Luigi. Which reminds me, what's up with Luigi lately? FREE LUIGI!
Carney would look the other way
I mean, I don't think Katy Perry has done anything worth being murdered over.
If you're gonna murder, there's definitely a better target in the list. I mean, you could take out JK Rowlings and be a trams celebrity, you could take out Trump and literally save the world.
I mean, you have great options and you're picking the 2 out of 10.
Me sitting down at Seven:
Hey freak show! You're going nowhere. I got you for nine hours. Nine hours of PLAYTIME!
This is exactly how I feel about 9.
6 because of boobs. That might be a mistake because I have no idea who the owner of said boobs is.
It's Katy Perry, I believe.
And her boyfriend is sitting across the aisle from you, so that’s gonna be annoying
But she'll also probably be distracted the whole flight by said bf, giving you a window seat and hopefully a buffer between you and everyone else
Probably 8 so I can get some pointers on my Shawinigan Handshake, and practice on a dummy at the same time!
I’d pick 9.
Then I can finally tell Pollievre how vapid his policy ideas are.
He has policy ideas? Is this new?
Easy, 10. I'm an adult so I'm perfectly safe
7, and break a neck.
Honestly, you probably would be able to do the job with a well-placed myocardial thump.
Ball your hand up into a fist, and wait for him to nod off and just swing down to hit him in the middle of the chest as hard as you can, and then spend the rest of the time fighting off anybody that would try to save him.
If you have time for a second round, a knife hand to the throat would be a good follow up.
You could just tell him a latino is flying the plane instead. He would stroke out and die right there.
On the plus side, it would kill half the other people on the flight too.
I guess either six or two just to get as far away from the smell of trump as I can. Cuz that'd be pretty brutal.
Omg PP is gonna hate me, put me in seat 9
I don't know who the woman at 6 is but at least I get a window seat and in-flight entertainment during turbulence.
That's Katy perry.. Don't get too close to her or she will buy your mansion and make you homeless and you will die.
Oh I didn't recognize her without bangs. Anyway joke's on her, I'm broke and living in an apartment.
She will also suck your brain out of your ear.
Kinky
Can I crash this plane?
Can I just huddle in the cargo area?
- Isle seat and closest to the lavatory, where I'll be hiding most of the flight.
Who are the people in the front row? I think I recognize only Celine Dion.
The Fuck Off curling cheat is up front.
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I'll sit next to Pierre because he is lonely and has no friends, but I ate a huge bean burrito and a large bowl of pea soup.
Also, trick question, no one can fit beside Doug. But at the start of the flight he was seated next to Trump.
Flight crew jump seat in the galley.
2, so I can join forces with Marc Kennedy in going around the plane and telling everyone to fuck off. Then I'm gonna ask Ms. Freeland to help shove Danielle Smith into an overhead compartment.
Danielle will immediately move after takeoff to sit in row 7. "Just call me Bill" ❤️ ❤️
9, so I can stab the fucker in the eyes repeatedly with my in flight meal cutlery.
You can shoot him with your long gun no one knows about.
No, I want him to survive with irreparable damage to his eyes.
The wing
Hilarious no one has yet picked row 10. Yes, he's fucking too annoying for a 12 minute cab ride.
I'll take seat 9, but only if I can switch seats with PP. I will kick the window seat ahead for 9 hours. I will also be having a 30 oz steak and pickled cabbage the day before and letting rip, lifting my left cheek each time to make sure PP can enjoy the beef. I'm really hoping for turbulence so he can't leave the seat to stretch his legs much because I will also be reading out loud and I will be reading Karl Marx loud enough for him and our two friends ahead to hear.
What did Celine do to get on this plane?
Grabs the ejector handle
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