Top tier wife. This level of trolling is serious partner goals.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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And the store clerk was kind enough to quickly screen shot it for him as soon as it came in? Like, oh I know this guy is gonna want to remember this moment, and share it on the internet, cuz it's clearly a really funny joke that I'm just not in on yet.
You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
He made up a story around it to make you think it's a fake text but he actually just shits himself everyday.
Good catch.
Notifications stay around until you tap on them or swipe them away. In the notification center at least.
But they stop saying "now" pretty quickly.
Ooh right didn't notice that
I'm not one to victim blame, but in this one specific instance I have to say that this guy was really asking for it.
Solid wife.
Liquid husband.
Gassy son.
wait...
Plasmic daughter.
Bose-Einstein condensate child
Quark-Gluon plasma gramps
Colloidal cousin.
Degenerate uncle.
Hey! I resemble that remark!
You are under immense crushing pressure, forcing you into a suboptimal state of existence you would never take on within a more relaxed environment?
The Ang Lee epic martial farts film we all slept on?
Venom son
You'd think this guy would have learned by now. She's been doing this exact same thing for almost 10 years now.
Why do you need new underwear if you shit yourself? Can't you just clean it?
Speaking as someone who had an incontinence problem for a bit, you go through them quickly.
(Prostate cancer and prostatectomy if you’re wondering)
I hope you're doing well now!
Well I'm still alive, no longer incontinent, and cancer free so pretty good.
Yay! Congrats!
Fuck cancer.
All the best to you, random Internet person.
You shit em so often you're just tearing right through the poor things. He's just shits his britches, over and over.
Guess people don't know you can turn notifications off?
You can even set it to only show “text message” or “iMessage” in the banner.
But that would ruin his joke?
If you're worried about other people seeing questionable texts, you're not youing hard enough.
Least you have to worry about when handing off your phone honestly. I've worked at similar places, respecting customer privacy once behind closed doors is not as common as you'd like.
Buckle up kids
Yeah that “don’t kiss in public” approach can’t last forever. The “it’s fine they’ll think it’s toothpaste” relationship is clearly the way.
Pics or it never happened.