this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2021
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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy. Non-masc-identifying users are welcome to participate as well.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

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Resources:

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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Anyone relate? I really can't date because of my physical and mental health and covid, plus poverty, but god sometimes I miss intimacy.

Sometimes I feel like I deserve this because I broke three women's hearts. And I'm truly sorry for doing that. I'm happy they're doing good now, one is even married! But I miss having someone who loved me and accepted me, someone who had my back, you know?

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[–] star_wraith@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

I hope this doesn't come off as being an incel

My comrade, nothing you have said in this post or anywhere else would lead me to believe you have any incel tendencies.

[–] AntipastoAktion@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago (1 children)

I feel ya. I was a weird creepy loner as a kid and well into my teens and early adulthood - shit, well into my early 20s. I was (still am) fat and out of shape, not traditionally attractive, and neurodivergent as hell (Asperger's or some other spectrum disorder). Plenty of close friends, but never a relationship. I'm lonely as hell, and the older I get the weirder it gets overall. Being alone in your late teens? Fine. Being alone through your 20s? Strange but not bad. Into your 30s? Shit just feels pathetic.

I'm glad I found places like this though. Like ten years ago if I hadn't had a change of heart and a change of path I probably woulda ended up hardcore down the incel pipeline I think. I'd like to think I'm getting better.

You're valid, comrade, even if you're on your own.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

Thank you for sharing your story and you're valid too.

[–] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

Work from home, living in a chud zone, with no prospects of meeting even interesting people because of the quarantine that no one else is sticking to.

Good times :agony-deep:

[–] curmudgeonthefrog@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

Big mood, you're not alone comrade. One thing that's helped me with the loneliness was finding discords to hang out in. Since everyone's terminally online these days, there are a lot more online communities you can chill with.

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

I some times fear it's getting later and later for me to find a relationship or even have sex. Money is an issue to but the best advice I heard is that if someone likes you don't need a fancy dinner just something that shows your affection to hang out.

Maybe it's easier for me since I don't know what I'm missing out on but I still get lonely. This is were I make a joke about being volcel or at least convince myself I am. I can't be incel because I don't hate women just super shy and anxious.

Great on your for being happy for your exes though. Hang in there Soros, I have hope for you. Wish me luck too. No matter what happens I hope you find happiness. :heart-sickle:

[–] ChapoBapo@hexbear.net 0 points 5 years ago (1 children)

I’m a lonely single depressed guy too comrade. Unfortunately I don’t meet the requirements for being an incel because I don’t hate women and I don’t think my problems are in any way femininity’s fault.

It’s really nice that you’re happy for your exes and that you care about them doing well and being happy. You seem like a really good person, to me. I think you’re worth of love regardless of your health and/or finances. I hope you find it sooner rather than later, maybe when things aren’t as complicated with the pandemic hanging over everything.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago (1 children)

Thank you. I mean if I need to be single for the rest of my life, so be it, I just want to be happy really.

[–] ChapoBapo@hexbear.net 1 points 5 years ago

That’s a very good point too - recognizing that we can be happy with just ourselves is a great asset and can really help a lot. Still, it’s quite natural to desire companionship and if that’s a goal of yours then I hope you get it.