I feel ya. I was a weird creepy loner as a kid and well into my teens and early adulthood - shit, well into my early 20s. I was (still am) fat and out of shape, not traditionally attractive, and neurodivergent as hell (Asperger's or some other spectrum disorder). Plenty of close friends, but never a relationship. I'm lonely as hell, and the older I get the weirder it gets overall. Being alone in your late teens? Fine. Being alone through your 20s? Strange but not bad. Into your 30s? Shit just feels pathetic.
I'm glad I found places like this though. Like ten years ago if I hadn't had a change of heart and a change of path I probably woulda ended up hardcore down the incel pipeline I think. I'd like to think I'm getting better.
You're valid, comrade, even if you're on your own.
It's what happens when you grow up in a country where you're told that FREEDOM FROM TYRANNY and all that is paramount, but then you start to realize that, even in a society full of FREEDOM there's rules to be followed, and those rules suck: you gotta pay fees to get a licence, and then you can't do some stuff, and maybe you get a fine for some neighbourhood bylaw and now have to go to court. It's the freedom fetish of American civic religion coming up against the reality of living in a modern society.